Is It Unrealistic?

I want to be an author so bad.
I want to bed a horror writer, I want to rewrite the genre, and I want to be published.
But it always seems so unrealistic only knowing my luck.
It really feels when you're submitting a script or something that your are in a little lottery or raffle ticket winning.
And you anxiously wait for them to pull your number.
I never had luck with raffles or lotteries.
That isn't my kind of luck, my kind of luck tends to be with time.
Also I really have never been the most popular thing in the world.
I went to be student president once.
I never got to be it because tge dude who was cooler then me was chosen.
Is being published?
Is being an author?
Is completing my dreams?
So unrealistic.
Why doesn't anyone choose me?
Why am I always left out even when people don't know me?
Why am I always the one who is singled out?
No one knows me.
And I end having that luck of the draw.
I made have good luck when it comes to plans and organization.
But I never have any luck with being someone of power, someone to look up to.
No one ever chooses me.
Not even me as an anonymous figure.
I just look at it and see.
Are my hopes and dreams going to be crushed based on someone's decision on someone who is somewhat anonymous?
Why am I always left out?