Is - Was - A Sentence Killer?

By peachalulu · Jan 28, 2013 · ·
  1. IS - WAS - A SENTENCE KILLER?
    I'm starting to think so.

    Yesterday, in Chapters I flipped through Douglas Glover’s Attack of the Copula Spiders - it looks interesting as writing manuals go. Not that any of them ever really help you creatively, per say, but some help you avoid writing down a dead end. This looks like one of those.


    The book rallies against the use of dead verbs - to be, was, am, is etc. which the author found an abundance of in his students writing and by circling each dead verb, he could link them into a visual spider hence the title. It’s not that was, am, to be, is etc. can’t be used, it’s that they’re over used.

    If you look up was in the dictionary - Was means
    - to exist or live
    - to take place, happen or occur
    - to occupy a place or position
    - to continue to remain as before
    - to belong, attend, befall

    ...All of which can provoke a static sentence. I.e. - The bottle is on the bar. I am chief of police. I was at the dance. It can even pull the reins on an active verb .i.e. I was dancing. I was sledding. Retuning my creative mode I began to rethink openings should I enter a scene on a flat statement, creating a stagnant image or a moving one - and wondering how many was's are plaguing my work?

    I dug up some books to see how the great ones handled verbs and made this list.

    Here are some amazing verbs all of which could’ve been killed by the virus - was.

    In Gravity’s Rainbow
    a man threads himself into a robe
    Another gobbles down croissants and coffee
    He sprints towards laughter
    People gargle wine
    Pinball machines writhe under their handlers

    In John Updike’s short story collection -
    a jet engine is haloed by a rainbow
    Lake water swallows two bather’s flesh up to their knees
    A bed is sluing like a boat on a wave
    Young girls throng a man’s vision
    A card shark sandbags with three kings
    A beer to soothe my mouth
    A woman’s agitation consumes a chrysanthemum ( by her Plucking and rolling the petals )
    Hickory trees are clangorous
    The protoplasm of a house ebbs in stages

    Margaret Atwood -
    A mind shambles
    A car crunches to a halt
    fingers of snow creep over a road
    float ( in a hammock )
    Bedsprings mourn
    Couples slither through slush
    a voice prods
    a thought is censored
    a woman clamps her skirt between her knees
    dancers whizz and careen

    Angela Carter
    pistons thrust a train forward
    A woman beggared herself for love
    sausages hiss in a pan
    a woman is unwrapped (undressed )
    An opal spurts green flame ( a color in the firelight )

Comments

  1. jack lee
    I think tense change is the biggest problem with English. many other languages just put a time in the sentence.
  2. peachalulu
    Well, I agree that tense change is a whopper but they usually can be fixed a lot easier that a was - was, is a mind frame.
  3. Sam Edge
    That was awesome! Thanks
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