Let Us Unite

This has been an election of such epic proportions as to end the entire democratic process in the mother of parliaments. It has come close to doing just that on a number of occasions, even since Brown entered the door of No. 10 back in 2007 through a deal with his most despised adversary, Prime Minister Tony Blair. The three party leaders have taken us on a tour of every outcome that could possibly occur in the British electoral system: a Conservative victory, a Labour surge, a rainbow coalition of socialists, Europhiles, nationalists, and former Gaelic terrorists, and now a unity of the two parties who should be completely opposed in their idealogies, the Conservatives and Liberals.

That has landed the Conservative leader, David Cameron, the third secret Scot in quick succession, with the keys. He is the definition of a Tory toff: upper class, married to the daughter of a baronet, with a family in possession of vast tracts of the Western Isles (an island archipelago across from where they were originally from, the Western Highlands). Let us hope that he is a true clansmen, and follows the motto to the letter: let us unite. For this will probably be the most chaotic time in British politics since the Winter of Discontent, and the challenges that face the leader of the country are various. They include the largest economic deficit in history (£185 billion), the largest national debt in history (£850 billion), and huge social problems ranging from rapidly rising crime (Labour's figures have been comprehensively disproven - they permitted the police to decide what they actually considered to be a 'crime,' and the result was hundreds of thousands of crimes, including assaults and other violent offences, not being recorded) to spiralling alcoholism and violence. He also faces increasing levels of public opposition to the three issues, on which none of the three major parties disagree: the economy, immigration, and the European Union, which has led to a rise in support for the BNP, a typical European far-right party with socialist economic policies, rightly considered abhorrent by anyone who listens to what they really say. The rise of UKIP, a right-wing moderate party that is famous for its opposition to further EU integration, is also a concern for the status quo, which David Cameron will have to maintain to guide the economy out of trouble (which the Conservatives have a proud record of doing). He also has a war, also fiercely criticised, which he has to turn around through strong military decisions (which will involve going against the wishes of important NATO allies). He will have regular dealings with that European battleaxe, Angela Merkel, and the comically anti-British President Sarkozy. He will have Argentina demanding access to billions of barrels of oil and three overseas territories, and Scottish, Welsh, and Northern Irish independence. He also has to manage the effects of a renewed campaign from the IRA paramilitary forces, an over-enthusiastic politicised police force, and civil unrest here, in the non-English speaking heartlands of various British nations.

The first clansman of that name, Domhnall Dubh, the founder of his clan, was a welder of the peoples; he overcame a feud between four opposing tribes to join them into a single group, which has remained united ever since. That was in the face of foreign threats and domestic problems; the Lordship of the Isles demanding his allegiance to further its ambitions of an empire to unite the Celtic peoples, the old realm of Scotland requesting the support of his clansmen in distant foreign wars, and his own clansmen demanding more independence from the political manouvering of each of them. If you substitute the Lordship of the Isles for the European Union, Scotland for Barack Hussein Obama, and his clansmen for the British people, then the most powerful Cameron in the world has almost identical foreign policy problems. Cameron can do as he pleases; in the end, neither the Lordship of the Isles nor Scotland could take any action, as they also wanted to work with each other, as well, allowing Domhnall Dubh to do whatever he wanted to, as long as he paid lip service to both. I'm not trying to turn British foreign relations into something quite as simple as that, but it's probably the best broad policy for David, too. The UK needs to be a little selfish, and perhaps a little insensitive. We can no longer support the United States - our support is no longer wanted, either, as Barack Hussein Obama has repeatedly made clear. We cannot continue to enforce every legislative reform made by Brussels, or hand over exorbitant sums to support what is, essentially, a foreign currency. Any payments to the EU (other than membership fees) must be valued based on what they will give to Britain's economy through trade with the single currency which would not exist without these payments. There would be no bailout for the pound, and rightly so. It is a foreign currency to the Euro states, just as the Euro is to us. However difficult it may be with Nick Clegg on board (a European in outlook, I suspect, rather than British), we must do our best to ignore ever-increasing demands for money which we simply do not have.

Now, we know little of the domestic problems of Clan Cameron when Domhnall Dubh rose from the smoke of Harlaw to unite the factions beneath one banner, but they had an economy based largely on trade with one of those states that they wanted greater independence from - the Lordship of the Isles. In the modern age, it is the European Union that we want greater independence from (not necessarily complete abandonment; the most you'll find any popular support for is an economic union, like that of Norway or Switzerland - believe it or not, Eurosceptics are not entirely opposed to the European Union, and I have weeks spent reading newspaper comments to prove this. They are simply opposed to us being the only ones to enforce expensive EU legislation, and having no democracy within the EU's reach). They had four different opposing tribes under the same leader, and they united each of them beneath the same banner, based on pressure from the Lordship of the Isles and Scotland (you can see them as the EU and the US).

But the best piece of advice that history could ever give to a new leader is this: follow what people say. Newspaper comments and, yes, even sometimes journalists come up with sensible ideas. They are also the best sources of opinion that you'll find, Dave. They tell you why, as well as exactly what, people want. Don't assume that people on one newspaper support you, and others don't. It's never that simple. Domhnall Dubh would tell you as much; he hired a sennachie to write a praise poem, and he actually ended up with a comedy that led to his surname (which you now have). So, unless you want to have a similar name attached to your party's leadership, then you'll find that listening to the people works.