I’m still laughing!
Give me a moment to get myself together…
Ok, better now.
So, if you know me, you know that I have a bone-deep hatred of scripted customer service. I think it is an abysmal comment on how companies think of service and of who they hire to deliver their service. Abysmal!
So this last little blip of script I heard today almost made me snort on the phone. I really almost lost my composure and had to pretend a cough. It went like this:
“Thank you so much, and is there anything else I can do to provide you with Level 10 Service?”
Level 10 Service?
As soon as the words hit my ears I got an immediate picture of people in uniform running helter-skelter as red spinning lights strobe the War Room and klaxons blare.
“Get me the President, we have Level 10 Service! What? Clearance? Did you hear me, man? I said Level 10 Service! You get me the President right now or I’ll make sure they send you to the ass end of Alaska for the rest of your natural life!”
Having to say that kind of crap would be a deal-breaker for me in a job. I just could not do it. Read the statement/question again and you will see how assumptive it is. It assumes that the person has already received Level 10 Service (dear god, save from the corniness) and that we would like the chance to give you some more Level 10 Service.
What does that even mean?
Am I supposed to be impressed by the words? Wow, Level 10 Service! AWEsome!
What if the service I got was Level 7, or 5, or negative 32? What of that? And I want to know how long the number itself was in deliberation? Was there an opposing group who wanted to give Level 15 Service? Perhaps there was a small group that wanted to ditch the number altogether and wanted to glam the customers with Level Gamma Service. Wow! Gamma!
People who get paid to write this crap should have a veeeeery special place reserved for them in Hades.
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