mommyhood and sick kids

If I ever thought that writing was hard, I most likely would be able to get through the disappointment and the frustration simply by reflecting on how I've managed to do one of the hardest things in the universe (in my opinion). I'm a mommy.

Yeah, I know. On the surface it doesn't seem like much. When people think about the hardship of mommyhood, they simply consider the pain involved in the birthing process. What they fail to recognize is that the birthing process isn't nearly as difficult as raising the child through all of the stages of life.

I've personally come to this realization now that my child is two-and-a-half years old.

Next time I have a bad note from an editor, or a comment that hurts my feelings, I'll just recall the evil stares I receive when my daughter chooses to pitch a fit and throw herself on the floor in a restaurant. When I have writer's block and feel like a loser, I'll just recall how I managed to keep my child occupied for thirty minutes in the doctor's office while I waited for him to finish a cell phone call.

The next time I read a beautifully-written novel and feel pangs of jealousy, I'll recall how I've survived emergency room visits, vomit dripping down my shoulder, getting hit in the eye by a little fist, and never getting to take a bath by myself for a year now.

I'll remember sleeping sideways with one arm crooked under me so that I could accomodate my child on the sofa during the night.

I'll remember crying in the night interrupting my sleep.

I'll remember potty training and presumptuous demands for candy.

I'll remember the last time I went to a movie theatre, which happens next to never.

After that, writing won't feel so bad. Writing will feel like bliss, even if it's painful at times. Writing will feel like an act of the will, an act of the heart, a chance to be someone different for a little while.

And then I'll hug my little girl and forgive her. I'll see her sweet little smile and hear her say "I love you! Give me a hug." And the world will be right again.