Moving On From Arguments

By Oscar Leigh · Mar 21, 2016 · 667 · 2
  1. I'm someone who has a lot of arguments. At home, at school, here on this forum. And so I've had to learn how to handle them. I find there is a key principle some people don't get or refuse to apply. One argument should not mean anything. It doesn't matter how pissed off you are, it doesn't mean they're a bad person automatically. Never judge someone on the basis of one argument. Some of the people you argue with most are the ones you love. Just because someone can make you temporarily hate them more than you value your own life, doesn't mean you should then hold a grudge. Literally think about something else. Literally move on. Are you going to read a book now? Or go onto a different thread? Have dinner? Do some work? Got to sleep? Think about that. Go to your happy place if you must. Pat a dog or cat, it's soothing and they're adorable so they make you happy. Or at least my little dog does. :supercute: At the end of the day, if we cannot give each other a little tolerance and leeway, we cannot have a stable modern society. Negotiability and respect are important principles. So please don't grudge someone here because of one pointed disagreement. They might turn out to have a lot of interesting conversations you could have with them. And more importantly, it's just unfair.
    Thank you for your time. Hope you have a good day. :blowkiss::blowkiss:
    Malisky, IHaveNoName, Jeni and 3 others like this.

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  1. Jeni
    I agree with you on this. I may get angry and participate in an ill-fated argument with someone but I don't hold on to those angry feelings. I hold onto anger towards the phone company when they promise one thing but give another. I have even boycotted one company for over 15 years but in an argument with another person, I say my piece and tomorrow I will be over it. I suggest the same for others. Too many things can be said in the heat of the moment and imagine how full our brains would be if we held onto every little thing. Say your bit then love one another. We are all human.
    Jeni, Mar 23, 2016
      Oscar Leigh likes this.
  2. Tenderiser
    But Oscar, this might be your principle (and by-the-by it's mine too, so I'm not coming at this from an opposing view point) but it isn't everybody's. It's not that they don't "get" it, it's that they have a different perspective on it than you do. And that's okay, too. It's not unfair, and it's not depriving you of interesting conversations. They want to make their time on the forum (or wherever) more pleasant, so more power to them.

    I also think people with a tendency to get into fights (again, me!) have a responsibility to check their behaviour as much as others have a responsibility to check their reaction. When a post bothers me, I try not to respond immediately. I go away for a while, come back, and see if I still want to post my angry thoughts. Usually I write a much more tempered response. Sometimes I get it wrong and don't wait, and I nearly always regret it.

    I mean, if you're upset that somebody has ignored you... literally move on.
    Tenderiser, Mar 23, 2016
      Oscar Leigh likes this.
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