Munchkins and Dragons

Tonight my friend asked me for a bedtime story. We were texting so I typed it as I thought of it. I'm kinda sorta proud of it but its not that great of a story lol.


Fred the villager once saw a dragon. He was a macho man and decided to hunt the dragon down. He took bows and arrows and swords and even a small munchkin pack boy. He tracked the dragon by the massive piles of steaming poo littering the ground. They led straight to the cave where the dragon lived.

Fred gathered his things and entered the cave. It was filled with many beautiful things. Rubies and diamonds and treasures sat in piles gleaming and glowing. Fred chuckled to himself at the thought of the wealth he would command when he slaughtered the dragon. He told the pack munchkin to gather riches while he killed the dragon.

He made his way through the piles of treasure deeper and deeper into the cave. The light of the dying day faded the farther into the cave he traveled. At last he reached the end of the last chamber inside the cave. The dragon was not there! He swore he had seen it enter before him. He turned around to check the way he had come to see if he had missed any nooks that the dragon could hide in.

On his way back, Fred heard a mighty roar, followed by a shrill scream. Quiet pleading and growly vocal tones ensued and he continued walking toward the opening of the cave. He peeked around the last corner and saw his munchkin and the dragon conversing!

The dragon was gorgeous. Her bright purple body accentuated with blue iridescent spine spikes lit up the cave, by far outshining the piles of treasure at her feet. The fading light outside was more than enough for Fred to notch an arrow in his bow and take aim for her throat. Her mouth opened in a laugh and Fred readied himself for the arrow to fly. The munchkin turned and saw him a moment before he loosed his arrow. Fred locked eyes with the small boy-man and tried to convey a sense of “be quiet.” He loosed his arrow at the dragon’s throat. At the last second, the munchkin leapt into the air and took the arrow to his heart. The dragon screamed her anger at the loss of her new friend and attacked Fred.

He ran as fast as he could down the cave, dodging piles of glittering treasure. He rounded the last bend in the path and entered the last chamber. He was trapped. He pulled out his sword and turned around. He saw the dragon looming around the bend and readied himself.

The dragon breathed a steady stream of scalding fire into the chamber. Fred shielded himself as best he could but was still slightly fried. He crinkled and crackled as he moved to stand up. He saw his reflection in a larger diamond and noticed he looked slightly lobster-ish. He chucked his sword at the dragon, knowing it was his last chance for life. The dragon deflected it with her scales right back at him. The sword flew straight through his chest and into the wall, lodging him there.

The dragon lumbered back out and met up with her secret lover in the next cave over. She laid an egg or two and within a few days, her cave was ready to be lived in again. She moved her egg out of her lover’s cave and into her own to hatch it. She raised her young dragon to be vigilant of men and women, but to make friends with munchkins. They lived happily ever after…sorta.