My Story Is Long, This Poem Is Short.

By MissAnndroid · Jun 15, 2012 · 518 · 2
  1. Do you have the time to listen to me unwind?
    Give me a moment to take you down the roads in my mind.
    Grab my hand so you aren't left behind,
    Because some of these things can tear you in twine.

    I have eaten fear for breakfast,
    I have had loathing for lunch.
    For dinner, I've enjoyed disaster,
    and I've sipped chaos at brunch.

    I have walked along jagged rocks,
    I've fallen victim to some flames.
    But, No matter what size the beast,
    I've kicked ass and I've taken names.

    But, tears have shed from these eyes,
    Uncertainty has oozed from every pore.
    I have bled like the Christ upon the crucifix,
    But for the weak, I bleed no more.

Comments

Sort Comments:

Sort Comments By

  1. maidahl
    Your rhyme scheme is bit clunky for my tastes. "unwind?" "mind." "behind," "twine." It sounds like you're just picking the words to make it rhyme. It's a little sing-songy imho. Sorry:)
    maidahl, Jun 15, 2012
  2. MissAnndroid
    Wasn't really needing a critique, seeing as this was a 3 am blog spout-off. Just kind of for my enjoyment. You will see poems that I'd actually care for criticism in the "Poetry" section soon enough. There, all critique's are welcome.

    But, I suppose the P.C. thing to do here is to say thank you for your time on my piece and the amount of thought you gave it. :]
    MissAnndroid, Jun 15, 2012
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Accept Learn More...
    Dismiss Notice