new year

another chapter draws to an end,
another year wasted and forgotten,
it seems that callow dreams only grow into sorrow,
and that many live lives of quiet desperation,
in hope of salvation,
seeking emancipation
from these hands that tie me,
in my mind i cannot escape,
the call of procreation,
but my inhibitons,
they restrict me,
and conflict in me,
my mind lost in these sweltering thoughts,
creeping through they hide amongst cracks of the wall,
seeping through i see them fall,
taking me to that hallowed place,
these thoughts I write,
I struggle to think and fight
the urge to tell those lies,
like those who decieve,
and live lives of greed,
and take more than they need,
but it seems that i am unable,
unwilling,
to take on this task,
i hope i can make it pass,
I hope this year is not the last,
i must succeed,
this year will be the one I achieve success,
they will witness my prowess,
I will most assuredly progress,
but i digress,
for i must confess these are but mere fantasies,
I don't think i have it in me,
to be what they want me to be,
but hopefully,
one day soon i'll see,
the path i need to take to find happiness,
but within me lays my very own Narcissus,
who desires fame and greatness,
but beneath the surface
i contemplate and deliberate,
what thoughts it is I should permeate,
and those which I must subjugate,
my thoughts undulate the waters of time,
these are what I will leave behind,
i had lived once,
and had felt,
known what it is to be alive,
and that is enough for me.