Poem - World of You

By peachalulu · Sep 2, 2012 · 545 · 2
  1. I don't know anything about poetry. I read it, don't really get it. Especially the rules. It always feels
    intimidating. Wrote one - Grummot the other day and posted it and decided to try another
    one. It's old-fashioned. Here it is - Don't know if the last part works.


    World of you

    Cast off the covers of night-sky
    bliss, Chest rise as my morning sun.
    On horizon of silken flesh,
    Velour cheek singeth ; life begun.

    Fingertip journey round caverns
    wing, lips whisper into caverns cove.
    Speak only of secret things
    tangled love that thee have wove.

    Fantail feathers lift as wedded veil,
    on magic orb, er wishing well
    Dive in through mirror skin ,
    drown to the doubts, I surrender to thy spell.

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  1. DanesDarkLand
    Your poetry is clever Peach. It seems to fit a form, or a template of what poetry is taught to be. One of the things I've learned, over the last couple of years, is that poetry doesn't necessarily have to fit a template. It can though and be very enjoyable while doing so.

    You can look this one up and see some great poetry, but they are songs. Tuomas Holopainen is the composer for Nightwish, and two songs of his, well all of them really, are truly enjoyable to listen to, and to read. Ghost Love Score, and Higher Than Hope.

    I look forward to additional pieces from you. I enjoyed Grummot, even though I wasn't sure what I was reading. It seemed to be something that was Beowulf-ish or something a warrior bard of old might read.
    DanesDarkLand, Sep 4, 2012
  2. peachalulu
    Hey, thanks Danes. I'll check out the music. Grummot was inspired by an old gumball prize - one of those rubber finger puppet
    monsters. I called it Gummot, don't know why. But that's what sparked it - lol!

    I've been reading and critiquing your piece - I always cut and past and work on it later at night when I'm not on the internet. I
    always get a little nervous critiquing things , I never know wether people will take things personally. But I enjoyed the piece from your novel and look forward to reading more from you as well!
    peachalulu, Sep 5, 2012
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