peachalulu May 21, 2012
Hi , is this the start of your book Ultranumb - or are you fleshing out the idea? Some interesting stuff here but so far - it's a lot of back story and we don't really have a handle on the main character. Who he or she is , if she or he is excited about their discoveries or the overall tone of the story like is this going to be a mystery , is something going to go wrong with the nano technology , is there any opposition? A strong scene with some action or argument introducing your main characters might help to convey everything you've described - but instead of telling us , would show us. You could even cut to the chase and start with the line up of people , pushing and shoving to get their hands on the drug Ultranumb.