Torana Apr 12, 2008
Firstly, I am very sorry for your friend. For you as well. It's not easy to sit and watch someone you care about fade away.

He would be joking about it to help himself accept it and to deal with it. Inside you can be sure that it IS affecting him emotionally, in a major way. But he doesn't want to show that. At some stage he may break down terribly and he'll need someone there for him. Be there when he needs you. It's not going to be easy, but at times like these, having an understanding friend around can really help.

All you can do for him is be there, make sure that you are honest with him, tell him how much the friendship means to you. Anything you want to say, don't leave unsaid. If you are scared, talk to him about it, he is scared too. He surely doesn't want his life to go like this and he never expected it would. It wouldn't be easy for him at all. His mind will be all over the place and his emotions as well.

My mother is dying slowly, she was given 5 years, that was 4 years ago. She always makes stupid jokes about it. She has become rather arrogant, rude, obnoxious and says "I don't have anything to lose. I'm dying so may as well not leave anything unsaid." It angers me when she does.

Staring death in the face every day can make life very difficult. Being there watching someone go through it can be even harder. It really does tear you apart.

You don't have to let go, there may just be that slightest chance that he will pull through. But at the same time, as hard as it is, you have to be there for him and always be honest. Your friend is coping the only way he can at the moment, trying to hide his fear. It will all come out though, all the fear and the hurt, and when that time comes, he is going to need his friends and family there for him.

I'm still trying to find the right words to say to my mom and it has been 4 years now. I guess the best thing to tell them is that you won't give up hope and that you are always there for them.....

I am really sorry that you are having to go through this and I only pray that things become easier for yourself and for your friend.