EDIT: this was originally called 'BruceA: walking cliché", but the blog wouldn"t post yesterday, despite many attempts. Seems to be working today, though Hurrah! This was written yesterday afternoon...
I am a cliché.
There, I've said it. You can stop reading now.
Why do I type this, you no doubt do not wonder? Well...(drum roll)... I am a procrastinator. It is one of the most unoriginal things that can be said about an unpublished wannabe writer: which I am. For around 36 years I have been expertly avoiding actually writing, fanny-arsing around instead.
Even in writing this blog I am procrastinating. I was going to write a blog entry a few days ago, but I put it off. I have only put finger tips to keyboard now, because writing about procrastinating is somehow better than starting the short story I have bubbling around in my head (perhaps, I tell myself, the story needs time to percolate through my brain, knowing full well that my stories only get better once I have written the bloody things and edited them over a period of a week or so).
Today I have updated my external blog - the public bookcase where I shelve display my short stories - changing the theme, and adding some word counts, and making it look pretty (because that is time well spent!). Yesterday I bought a new vain domain name (love how that sounds, I wonder if there is a domain called VainDomainName?... There isn't: just googled it, and looked on wordpress. You can buy the dot com for 18euros, if you are interested), just so I could mess about with my blog, rather than do any writing!
I have just spent about ten minutes looking for a microphone (failed to find it), because I have had the idea of recording myself reading my stories and issuing them as a podcast (now that is a great way NOT to do any actual writing). The idea (not a bad one) came to me as I was reading out-loud a short story I had finished (it does happen: when I start writing I usually get the job done). It is something I always mean to do: read my stories out-loud, I mean. But usually I can't be bothered, or am embarrassed to do it, just in case someone hears me (!), or there is just something I need to do first (now what can that be *looks around frantically for something important to do*). It is a great way to catch errors and to make sure the story flows, and I caught a few repetitions doing it. Anyway, I thought, why not record myself doing it and make it available as a podcast? That will waste some hours recording it, putting it on the net, trying to get it heard, etc, etc. After I have finished writing this, I will probably go up to the attic and spend an hour rummaging in boxes full of out of date electrical contraptions and wires that don't fit anything - I should have thrown all of this away, but haven't got round to it - for a microphone, that I know is there somewhere. Even though I could record the bloody thing on my phone. (EDIT: I did record the story I wrote for the 'five minutes to midnight' flash fiction competition. I uploaded it onto Soundcloud and embedded it with the story on my website)
This forum is perfect for me, because I can spend a lot of time reading about writing without actually doing it. One of the reasons I left three years ago was because I was spending more time on here reading and commenting, or waiting for something new to read or comment on, than I was actually writing. So I left, thinking that the time I freed up would be put into writing. Wrong, I just stopped writing.
So not your fault then, you lovely forum you.
No, it is not you, it's me. Not that this is a breakup note. Far from it. This time I am determined to do more writing. No big plans for me (I realised a long time ago, that the idea of writing a novel paralyses me): just lots of short stories. When I get around to it. Which is now (ish)
Right, I'm off to make myself a cup of tea, or wash up, or clean the car, or...
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