Gaines Dec 17, 2008
Really good sci-fi stuff. Characters stand out and the reader gets a quick feel for their personal traits. No real SPaG problems to mention but sentence structure is choppy in a few places. It slows the reading and makes the eye go back to see if it missed something. A bit of rewording and a few minor structure adjustments and you will have it dead on. Look forward to its next revision. If my computer skills were not so rudimentary I would tag quote a few places to give you more specifics. Sorry but I will get the hang of it and in the future I may be more of a help if needed.