The Broken Brain

By mummymunt · Oct 6, 2010 · 404 · 3
  1. I hope this blog isn't supposed to relate only to writing. My poor little brain is too broken to write anything of any worth right now, and I need to concentrate on getting it working again.
    I have bipolar disorder, am unmedicated since February (side-effects of medications soooo bad), and was actually doing quite well until 2 1/2 weeks ago. School holidays. Kids home all day every day. My brain couldn't cope, so I began a rapid slide down into depression. Nothing unusual there :redface:
    My coping method this time seems to have been to consume vast quantities of sugar (I'm a sugar addict, recently diagnosed, never actually believed it was a real thing until now!) - not smart at the best of times, but I'm also hypoglycemic. So, my blood sugar has been all over the place, meaning my mood has been all over the place (mostly down). This afternoon after I picked up the kids from school I went to the supermarket and bought eight cupcakes and five packets of sweet biscuits. So far I've eaten one cupcake and four biscuits. Am planning on throwing the rest of the cupcakes away when the kids go to bed. The biscuits can be shared among family and friends.
    I waste a lot of money that way; buying things because of a craving, then feeling guilty and tossing them in the bin.
    This huge influx of sugar has done other damage, too. I have a systemic candida problem (because of sugar) that attacks random places around my body. A few days I had massive ear infections developing in both ears but managed to fight those off by putting peroxide in them. The infections are receding now, but are being replaced by thrush. I'd rather have ear infections. So I'm now dosing up on probiotics to see if I can stop that from developing too far.
    Must stop eating sugar. I bought a book by an excellent health author a couple of weeks ago on beating sugar addiction, so I really REALLY have to start reading it. Of course, my brain craves the sugar so it's going to fight me on this one, isn't it?
    Ah, the kids are hopping out of the tub now, so I have to go.
    Night :)

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  1. HorusEye
    I've been following a docu-soap on the telly recently that takes people with severe depression and other modern era ailments through an exercise program -- jogging, strength training, etc. Their psychological curves almost blew the charts after a few months of that. I suppose there's something to it -- that we were built to be chased by lions across the savanna, not to sit idly.

    Well, I hope you'll beat your addiction.
    HorusEye, Oct 7, 2010
  2. w176
    Oh. I share you diagnosis and been through some aweful side effects from some medications, but i hope you some day will be willing to try some other type of meds and find some cocktail of meds that helps you with non or the sort of side effects you can deal with gladly.

    HorusEye: Like physical diseases that depends on what sort of diseases you got if change of training shedule, diet or sleeping habits is a cure. (Even through most of us always get a bit better health from healthy habits when it comes to our overall health.)

    The same way someone with diabetes, heart disease, or stomach problems might get fantastic improvements from healthy habits its not a cure for someone with a broken bone, a skin problem or an genetic eyes disease. Even if healthy habit always is healthy habits, eye disease or not. But it won't cure the eye disease.

    The same is true for psychiatric disorders. For some diagnosis healthy habits can make fantastic improvement, for other this isn't a magic cure but needs other kinds of treatment. Bipolar disorder is somewhere in the middle. Good habits can help a lot but isn't a magic cure in that case.
    w176, Oct 8, 2010
  3. mummymunt
    Yeah, I know. For now, though, I'm going to get as far along as I can without meds. If nothing else, getting my body and brain back in balance should mean that if something does go wrong, the solution won't be too radical.
    Got a bit of anxiety going at the moment, but as long as it focuses mostly on the clutch in my car (long story) I'll be okay. Trying very hard not to focus on my grandmother, who is now my last remaining grandparent and has just turned eighty. Every time I think of her now it's to wonder how much longer she's going to be here. One second I want to visit her every day because I don't know if she'll still be alive tomorrow and the next I want to avoid her altogether coz every time I look at her all I see is death.
    This is a reaction to my nanna dying this year, I know, and to the fact that she died about two days before I had planned to visit her. Her death sent me off the deep end for the first half of the year but I'm plodding along okay-ish at the moment.
    I'm going ramble for hours here if I don't shut up, so I'm gonna sign off. Got myself in a tizzy. I'm going to go listen to an audiobook on my iPod and stare at the trees.
    mummymunt, Oct 19, 2010
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