The Miserable Writer...And The Chaotic Comedian

By Cave Troll · Oct 2, 2016 · 837 · 13
  1. It is complicated to write being a bitter lonely bastard, that puts on the illusion of chaotic humor. Perhaps why I can find much enjoyment in graphically detailing a body being hacked apart, shot to hell, or enduring slow and methodical torture. Perhaps pain writes pain well. I don't feel the need to end things on a happy note, just that they end the story in the most fitting way.

    Then there is the humor laden ass that tries to push things a little to far for a laugh. Even stooping into the gutter if it fits the moment.

    It is simply much more difficult to not give in, and give up when you know you are not very good a something. Even more so when you put a lot of effort into it.

    I am not popular, and I don't have someone to be there and support me when things get crappy. But this has made me a tougher person, because I don't have any support to be lost, only the sense of failure should I simply abandon the whole ordeal. I don't want to feel like a failure and loser, and that is why I still write. Who the fuck am I kidding, I am loser. No matter how many times I lose, I know that I didn't fail.

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  1. cydney
    Well, you have my support. :) Whoever you are! Aren't we all here for the same reason? After all is said and done?
    cydney, Oct 2, 2016
      Cave Troll likes this.
  2. Malisky
    May I quote some Lenny Kravitz wisdom. "Baby, it ain't over 'till it's over." :blowkiss: You got time, you got the means, you got the will. In which aspect are you finding yourself missing? With whom are you comparing yourself? I haven't read your workshop posts (yet, because I'm kind of lazy), but from a piece you posted in a thread I made at some point, your piece kind of stood out. You got quite an imagination and a fun way of expressing it. (I still remember Spork, Forkina and that poor mushroom). I also like other, random stuff you post, like this one: "Perhaps pain writes pain well." (Imagine what we would be missing, if Poe was a happy lad. I'm not saying you should be unhappy to write. I'm just saying... oh, forget what I'm saying. I hope you get what I'm saying, without saying it).

    You only lose if you quit man. What you really lose though, is only about a chance. A chance of experiencing what could have been. If you don't care that much, you lose without being affected by it. But if you do care, then why on earth would you quit?

    Why did you think I've been stalking you even though you had no blog posts (yet)? I was only waiting for the day. ;) I don't know why, but following blogs come easier for me.
    Malisky, Oct 3, 2016
      Cave Troll likes this.
  3. Cave Troll
    Thanks @cydney and @Malisky. :supersmile:

    I have just been having a rough past few days. I appreciate your company, and
    talking to you guys.

    I never know what to really say when it comes to blogs. (Not that I have ever done one before). :p

    Though I have random shorts scattered around in random threads, out side of the write
    what you want prompt and the 5 min flash fic prompt. (Guess I like to just leave
    something else behind instead of replying to a thread normally.) :p

    So thanks again. :superagree:
    Cave Troll, Oct 3, 2016
      Malisky and cydney like this.
  4. Seraph751
    Better to have lost than failed in my opinion. It takes a shitload of guts to keep going when you have been knocked off your feet once, let alone multiple times.
    Seraph751, Oct 3, 2016
  5. Grub-r
    Only those that wish/hope/try to step up can get knocked down. That in and of itself is a success; making the decision to want or do more. Only those that never desire for more truly fail.
    Grub-r, Oct 4, 2016
      Kitk37 and Cave Troll like this.
  6. Cave Troll
    I have small confession of success and don't want to look like the boasting type, so I will post it here.

    I as of yesterday have epubbed my first novel, so nervous/excited. :supersmile:
    Cave Troll, Nov 19, 2016
      Malisky and Carly Berg like this.
  7. cydney
    Actually, I just THOUGHT we were all here for the same reason. My bad! :(

    :) ;)
    cydney, Nov 20, 2016
      Cave Troll likes this.
  8. Malisky
    Well done! :D
    Hope it meets your desires or surpasses them.
    Malisky, Nov 21, 2016
      Cave Troll likes this.
  9. Raven484
    Let me just say that "Yes", you truly are a loser. But you are my favorite loser! I think the darkness you bring to your stories is great. I think if you were happy you would be writing young adult sci/fi where two young teens save the galaxy without breaking a fingernail. Who wants to read that crap?
    I think every writer is a loser is some way or another. We write because we grave attention. "Hey, please read this story I wrote. I have something to say and I think you might like it."
    You inspire me brother. It will be a long time before I finish my work, but because of you, I am definitely going to finish.
    Please send me a link to your epub so I can get it and pass it around to some people I know would like your story.
    Great Job my friend, and good luck!
    Raven484, Nov 30, 2016
  10. Cave Troll
    Thanks everybody! :supergrin:

    @Raven484 That is great that I have inspired you to finish.:supersmile:
    I have faith in you too.

    Got the courage up to punch out another 1.3K into the sequel.
    Cave Troll, Nov 30, 2016
      flawed personality likes this.
  11. 221BOlympusExpress
    I only quote Sleeping With Sirens, when I tell you this, "Don't give up because you're losing, you haven't lost." and "Sometimes, you gotta fall before you fly."
    So you see, just cause it seems like the ending, doesn't mean it IS the ending, there's loads more to happen, so keep your fingers crossed and hopes high, things are bound to look up! *THUMBS UP.
    221BOlympusExpress, Jan 1, 2017
      flawed personality likes this.
  12. Cave Troll
    @221BOlympusExpress
    It is kinda strange. I have an MC with a similar saying:
    Some times you have to lose before you can win. :supersmile:
    Cave Troll, Jan 1, 2017
  13. flawed personality
    You are not a loser in my eyes. You are amazing.:supersmile: :friend:
    flawed personality, Jun 4, 2019
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