I'm getting so close to being myself again. I'm right on the cusp of it. I can feel my creativity slowly coming back once more. Don't ask how I know this but it feels almost electrical. Maybe something electrical is going on in my brain when I'm doing some creative?
It's like I can almost touch it. It's so very close. I want to leap out and grab it but I know forcing it will make it slip further away from me. I'm going to make some artwork tomorrow that represents this. Also making another one that depicts how my emotions are returning. I'm not a shell any longer. I care. Oh but it's so amazing to care again. It really is.
I've always had very strong emotions. It's an integral part of my being. Often times it is the source of my artwork or writing. I believe the more my emotions come back the more creative I will become. They seem to be inexorably tied.
The other night I felt waves of emotions coming in on me. This time was different than before though. Since I started getting off cymbalta it really threw me for a loop emotionally. I was overwhelmed by my emotions. Now I feel like I'm swimming in them rather than drowning. That weird dreamy state of mind I used to get into so frequently is appearing much more often lately. Which is a very good sign.
I'm going to try to write tonight. I'm not going to try to force it though. Just pull up my stuff and see what happens. Wish me luck.
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