The Rick Perry-a-dox

Let me precurse this by saying that I am, by-and-large, an atheist. My beliefs were covered in a previous entry, but I mention them again because I am by no means an theologian; it is wholly possible I may be wrong here.

It occurred to me that, should God exist, I am rapidly amassing marks in the 'minus' column much faster than the 'plus' column. I do not go to church, I publicly doubt His existence, and I blaspheme all the damn-time. It thus makes sense, that on the rare occasion I offer up a prayer, it never seems to get answered.

The situation typically goes like this:
I throw myself to the ground and proclaim: “Oh holy God! I know that I've not been the best servant. I have sinned, I have doubted you, I still do. But if you exist, and you are as compassionate as people say, PLEASE make this hang-over stop.”
God will respond with a quiet and mysterious SILENCE.
This is then followed by hours of personal misery, a promise to myself to never drink like that again, which lasts until I eventually forget and relapse.

The point of this is that if you are not in His good-graces, if your checks are in the minus column, your prayers will fall on deaf ears. Sort of a “If you won't do this for me, I won't do that for you” thing. It's fair if nothing else.

So here we are, yet again, in the midst of another election cycle. Everyone's political machines are ramping up and each candidate's respective camps have begun the long process of mud slinging. In the Libertarian corner is Ron Paul, who will stick to his guns and principals until the end (which is when the GOP decides to run a more main-stream candidate-- just like every other year). The Tea-party has Michele Bachmann, who is the only person currently qualified to challenge Sarah Palin for her seat as conductor of the crazy-train. And the religious-right has Rick Perry. By far, the most popular candidate at the moment.

This brings us to Governor Perry. Recently, he held a highly controversial prayer rally to try and end the drought in Texas. It didn't work. But worse than that, the state seems to now be on fire. That isn't God ignoring someone-- that's Old Testament God letting you know he is pissed off. So I ask this: If I'm in the minus column, what column is Rick Perry in?