The Sky is Falling

Published by Wreybies in the blog Ponderings of a Pachyderm. Views: 247

"The sky is falling!!"


"The sky is falling, man. Seriously."

"Weren't you here last year right about this time saying the same thing?"

"Yeah, man! Thanks for remembering me. But seriously, the sky is falling."

"Was it falling last year too?"


"And the year before that?"


"How many years can I keep going back before your answer becomes no."

"Um... Pretty much to the dawn of language, I think."

"That's what I thought."

"So are you going to get ready for the falling of the sky?"

"I think I'm ok. I've got other stuff to do."

"Aw, come on, dude. You're gonna' get me fired! I haven't mongered panic in a single person today."

"I'm not surprised. You gave up the ghost pretty quick there. You can't really tell people what you're saying is bullshit and expect them to still get scared."

"Yeah, I know. But everyone else is doing the really hard-sell, and I hate the hard-sell, you know. Like when you go look at new cars and the greasy guys with the bad toupees jump on you. Nobody likes that."

"Yeah, that's true. I do hate that."

"Yeah, me too! So I thought I would try a different approach and kinda' soft-shoe the whole thing, not be so intimidating."

"Well, you keep trying man. Best of luck."

"So you're not scared at all about the sky?"

"The sky is a layer of gas that because of the high nitrogen content causes light filtering through it to be tinted blue. It's not like a thing that can fall on you, so... no."

"It's a metaphor, man!"

"Yeah, I know that. I wasn't sure you did, though."

"You're funny, dude. Socialists are going to take over this country."

"No, they're not."

"They are, man. Then the abortion clinics are going to start popping up like Seven Elevens."

"Yeah, I don't see it happening."

"Look around you man. The end days are here."

"Actually they're not, bro. Shit is always happening. Has always been happening. Always will be happening. There's nothing special about the times we live in."

"But Obamacare, man!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake..."

"You must be one of those lib-dems."

"Actually, I'm pretty moderate. Right in the middle on most issues."

"You gotta' pick a side, man!"

"No, actually I don't gotta' anything."

"You do!"

"I'm pretty sure I don't. I think I would have gotten an email or something."

"I bet you're for gun control."

"I own a gun, bro. And I'm trained to use it. The only control I think should happen is that people should have to take a class on the use and care of guns before getting to buy one. You know, kinda' how we make people prove they can drive a car before we give them a driver's license."

"Dude, you're what's wrong with America. You want to control everything and let the government into your living room, and let gays get married, and..."

"Yeah, buh-bye." He walks away to the other corner of the street hoping the light will change by the time he gets there so he can cross and continue on with his day. The don't walk is still flashing on the other corner and he waits. A thin young woman approaches him.

"Hey, guy. I'm with a marriage equality group. Are you for marriage equality?"

"Actually, yeah, I am. My best friend is gay and I was his best man when he got married."

"Awesome, that is so cool. Also, you know, meat is totally murder. You don't eat meat, do you?"

"Oh, fuck me. Maybe the sky should fall."
  • Andrae Smith
  • Pheonix
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