The Top Ten Things and the Bottom Ten Things

By Forkfoot · Aug 31, 2009 · ·
  1. I've invented a computing machine which measures the qualities of all the things and ranks them in a list, from best to worst. Here are the top ten, concluding with the best:

    10. Pop Tarts
    9. That guy who was all, "Don't tase me, bro! Don't tase me, bro!"
    8. Old people
    7. Talk shows where people sit around agreeing with one another about things
    6. The word "y'all"
    5. That part in Pulp Fiction where those badass mofos fought those crazy mofos
    4. Dimethyltryptamine
    3. Arbitrariness
    2. Quaint and curious volumes of Forgotten Lore
    1. Lesbians

    Since I know people will be curious, I've decided to also share the bottom ten, concluding with the worst:

    10. Bullies
    9. Suffering
    8. The Disney Channel
    7. Cages
    6. Your vampire novel
    5. Whitney Skruggs of Plainsfield, Mississippi, U.S.A.
    4. Having to eat and drink to stay alive
    3. Not being allowed to be naked all the time
    2. Beliefs
    1. Opinions

    You are welcome.

Comments

  1. ChimmyBear
    You know...that was quite insightful. :D

    My personal favorite, Not being able to go around naked all the time..."sigh"
  2. Speedy
    Who said you cant be naked all the time. Move somewhere, were you can!

    Being a stay at home right now means im always naked, apart from taking photos for people (Doesnt mean others want to be part of it), and other occasions not needing mention.
  3. HorusEye
    Spot on!
  4. HorusEye
    2. Beliefs
    1. Opinions

    Spot on!
  5. deep breath
    I am a bit confused!

    The talk shows are in the list of best or worst?
    :eek:
  6. marina
    What a top 10--from Pop Tarts to Lesbians, lol.

    Ooh, who is this Whitney Skruggs--and to be hated more than my vampire novel ;)
  7. Cogito
    Of course, it's all in your opinion, which places its value -- oh. ;)
  8. Forkfoot
    Not true; this is totally objective. I invented a machine. Can't argue with cold, hard facts.
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