Tired of Waiting

I'm home. I have my car back, I have my minimal social life back, and I'm about to have my job back. Everything back to normal, right?

Well, there's a couple things. First and foremost, I need to find an apartment for my boyfriend and I. The cost of living is so damn expensive here, especially when you're working retail for $7.25 an hour. I want to be out on my own more than anything. But the thought terrifies me. What if we get out there, and we find that we can't make it? It doesn't help that the economy is getting worse and worse, and prices for everything are going up and up.

The other thing that worries me is school. I'm not stupid. I know that. However, I've wasted just about all my college fund taking random classes because I have no idea what to do with my life. And I still don't know! I have my AA degree, plus a slew of absolutely useless credit hours. I keep telling my family that I'm making progress. I don't want to go to them and say, "Well, all my college money is gone, and I still don't have a bachelor's degree."

I know what I want to do. I want to join the Peace Corps and get the hell out of here. I want to do something worthwhile instead of sitting around waiting for an epiphany. However, I don't think I have the courage to do it alone. My boyfriend says that once he gets some school out of the way, he'll marry me and we'll go in together. I don't know how long that will take, though. I don't know how long I can stand to wait.