Update on life, 130411.

Published by violinobsessed in the blog violinobsessed's blog. Views: 143

I don't think I would ever cook even if I get married. Let's just say I'll hire a maid to cook or we can just dine out every single day like my parents. My mother doesn't cook because she thinks it's troublesome. She knows how to, though. I, on the other hand, don't like to do things that are not related to academics. I only like studying, so for me, F&N is a waste of time. I'm scared of the needle so I tend to be slow at sewing. Salimi helped me with that while I talked to her.

That's why I don't like group work. It's troublesome and I'm not good at working in groups. It's either I do nothing at all or I do everything. Though sometimes I might need their help to make it better, I realised. Take the compo for example. The Finding Nemo thing. I have not watch that movie, so I need their help to tell me what is going on in the picture. I don't even watch SpongeBob. I don't watch such shows. I might have watched it, but I never remember what happened in the show.

Smiling is great. Today, I asked Chelsea and Alizah to be friends with me. I know that they were unhappy with me, so I just wanted to be their friend (and hopefully they would just shut their gossiping mouths up). We shook hands and became friends. How nice. Now nobody hates me. I'm friends with Faiz, Su'aidah and almost everyone. But even if I'm friends with them, I'm not really that close to them.

My mother is fine now. She went and see the doctor today, and she said that the medicine has helped. Hopefully she'll feel fine. She made us so worried. But since she kept on talking about dying and yet she's still alive, we soon got the picture that she was just saying it out of stress. She won't really kill herself. But if she really does, I'll definitely stop her. Surely there will be hints, from her attitude.

I know. I'll definitely tell somebody who I can trust about it. Or rather, my mouth can't keep itself shut when there's something troubling me. Sometimes over FB status, if I am upset, I might type out a poem to express my feelings if it's just my problem. Or if I'm angry, I tend to make sarcastic remarks. I don't like to type in capital letters (but when I'm angry, there is an urge to). It just makes it worse. I can calm down if I want.

Also, most of the time, I would tell you about it. I just feel comfortable with telling you everything because you would always reply in a way that makes me feel assured with things. Sometimes it knocks some sense into me.

I am definitely cursed with bad luck, I just know it! Today, during PE, a volley ball smashed right into my face. The upper part of my nose got damaged. It bled and I didn't even realise that until I got home. Then my glasses just became out of focus. It was totally spoiled. But luckily, Miss Jacklyn was there so she fixed it for me. If not, for the rest of the lessons, I would have trouble focusing because with spectacles that keep dropping down, I would never be able to concentrate. It makes me dizzy. It's fine now. I wonder how she fixed it. Now my face has a ugly red mark. All because I wasn't paying attention to the game! I was daydreaming about something that I forgot what I was daydreaming about! It hurt a lot. Now I'm having a headache. How terrible. I should have paid attention to the game in the first place.

I took 6 minutes to run the first round of my 2.4KM. I took 10 minutes for the second round, and took 15 minutes for the last round. I came back and saw Mr Milath at the field (he got tired of waiting and knew I would fail the 2.4KM run). And when I came back, I was like, "I'm back...?" and he half-screamed at me. But he didn't ask me to do push-ups. Lucky me. I made it through PE. I would always sigh happily after it's all over.

You know, I'm starting to think that Miss Jacklyn isn't worth so much of my effort and time. Sometimes, from her actions, I can tell that she isn't really a 100% kind soul or something like that. She doesn't really care about people's problems, and she is quite similar to Miss June. At least that's how I view it as. I'm going to treat her as a normal teacher, nothing more. I mean, she's really normal. Not as complicated as I thought she was.

Maybe I thought she was someone who was complicated. Guess I was wrong. She's just a normal human being. What I'm looking for is someone who is extremely complicating. I just thought she was, but now when I get to know her more, I realised that she is just normal. Maybe a little too typical of a normal human being. So normal. Ordinary. I shouldn't waste so much time and braincells on her. So then I decided to spend braincells on something important! Writing, of course. I like that.

And I have imaginary people who I talk to most of the time. They're characters from Pandora Hearts, and I talk to them even though I know I'm talking to myself because I just love that anime.

It seems as though a rock has been lifted up from my heart when I stopped liking her so much. It's not worth it, really. Nothing but stress will come out of liking her. Nothing that would benefit me. If it doesn't benefit me then it's probably not worth it. Besides, recently, I don't even feel like I like her anymore. It's just gone. But I'm glad that it's gone.

I'm the type who likes to run away from problems though. Even though I can motivate people to face their problems bravely, I can't do so myself. I give advices that I know I will never follow to people. There is actually nothing that can save people unless they themselves try to face it and forget about what hurt them. Maybe I tend to hold on to what people say for too long. If they insult me, I would remember it for a long time. But now, I'll try to forget about it and think of it as just a passing comment. Don't worry about it so much! Haha, I guess I'm getting happier each day.

Today's game thing in the morning was quite boring. But it was entertaining. Better than sitting in class listening to them talk about things. I like writing reflections though. Oh well, I finally wore the camp shirt! I only received it yesterday.

For me, maths is quite easy now. Now that I am okay with maths, I am going to revise more on Science and Geography. There's a Science test on Elements, compounds and mixture. I have no problems with that but I'll definitely flip through my science notebook to revise.

Also, I think that Abby has changed a lot. She used to be my best friend, but now she's doesn't care anymore. She's so happy with Charlene, and when I tell her about something, she would say, "So what?". She wasn't like this previously. Now Lorena (her friend) told me that she's like that to her as well. I don't know what happened. I seriously don't give a hoot about her problems but Lorena is concerned so I thought I should care.

I found a $2 note today when I got out of my father's car. I gave it to the security guard. I wouldn't really keep it even if nobody was watching. But I got hit by a ball. If I really kept the money, I think the ball would break my spectacles. It's retribution, isn't it? Sad.
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