What Is My Worth? ~(Venting)~

As a woman maturing rapidly, I am discovering new things about myself. This self knowledge is showing up through the strangest of circumstances.

When I was younger I saw my worth through my Daddy's eyes...I carried his identity along with his last name. My life was a reflection of his rules...and thus my idea of a woman's worth was set according to the men in their life.

At 18, my identity changed...I became my new husband's wife and thus gave over everything I was to him. What a sad choice I made. My faith and trust was nothing more than just a waif to him. I stuck through for far too many years...I had no identity when I finally left with my sanity barely intact. I had poured myself into his mold.

How, can we know what is best for us if we have never felt it, or seen it? The answer isn't so confusing...it is there inside of us, and can be discovered by asking one simple question..."What is my worth?"

After asking myself this question, I have discovered something interesting...I am worth someone who will prove himself...I am worth the chase and the pursuit. I am tired of men who never budge from the comfort of their personal space. These guys want to be the center of attention, they want to be made to feel wanted, they want to be chased, but don't even think about asking them what they are feeling or thinking...it's too much "pressure".

So...what happens when we become upset by such a proclamation?
They smile pretty, saying just the right thing at the right time...knowing just what those right words are to turn a girls head and keep us hanging on.

I say.."screw that"...never again will I chase a guy and lower my pride for the sake of the games, relationships tend to bring out. Even if it means being alone, so be it...for, I would rather be alone with my dignity, than to be in a relationship which is constantly, emotionally draining.

I am worth so much more than that.
I have no idea how any of this will work out, but I do know that I am worth more than I ever realized before. I am Robin and she deserves the best.