What the crap, American Media?!
This is just my rant to the American media as a whole. Please note that it's just a hilarious rant not meant to be taken seriously. :3
Dear American Media,
WHAT THE CRAP!!
I just got done watching "The Eleventh Doctor", the first episode of the fifth seasons in the smash hit UK show Doctor Who. I'm instantly in love with this show now and I'm already used to the new Doctor.
The biggest thing we have here in this great nation of ours? The land of the Bald Eagle and the Star-Spangled Banner? Sparkly vampires. Go back a few years earlier and it was a boy named Eragon on a dragon in a kinda-sorta ripoff of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.
Read it again, American Media. The BIGGEST thing out there now in the United States is SPARKLY VAMPIRES!!
While the UK has Doctor Who. A friggin Timelord that can go through time and space itself. What does Edward Cullen stand against The Doctor? Hell, you can blindfold the doctor and force him to fight Edward Cullen with his bare hands and he'd STILL find a way to kill Cullen in so many ways. (If you wanna get technical about it, the blindfold cannot come off unless someone wins, so there!)
Edward Cullen's powers are being a stalker and glowing with light when the sun hits him.
"But Link!" you may say, American Media, "We had Harry Potter!"
Right, 'cept that was the UK kindly transporting that series across the pond. They didn't have to do that, y'know. >___> I wonder if that's just an act of pity.
Their movies are good, their televison shows are good. It's a sign of times if I, an American, have demoted my television to just "BBC America" and "National Geography Wild" where I either watch British folks or animals. Why? Because all the other shows you put out SUCK!! They just...SUCK! Do not get me started on the History Channel or any other channel out there. Oh sure, there are a few gems out there like Food Network, but the rest just suck.
Y'know something, American Media? I believe the British have won. After 234 years, they have beaten us. They couldn't take over our country, they couldn't crush our independence even though the second time we kinda brought it on ourselves, but they could hand our arse to us in the media.
Well done, UK. Well done. I salute you.
~ Link the Writer
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