Because it shouldn't.
Its stupid really. I met this girl online and we started talking. Yeah yeah I know. Something about 40 year old pedophiles and such. but we got to know eachother and would talk almost everyday. For some unknowable reason I fell in love with her. I fell really really hard.
But I guess in the end we were just too different and over a period of time we drifted apart and... well now its up in the air.
There are few people in this world I truly care about, of those few people only 2 in my life I have ever truly loved. She said she loved me and I was almost amused by this because I really wasn't sure if she meant it, or if she realized how much I actually meant it.
Everything seemed to be stacked up against us. I knew this was how it would end. There was no way for this to have ended any other way.
I want to be an optimist, I wish I could say I saw it all differently. But I knew that the second this started it was damned from the begining. I thought I knew this, I thought I realized this simple fact and had prepared myself.
Why does it hurt then?
because in the end when all is said and done.
I truly loved her, with all my heart.
For this, I am damned.
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