It seems like you're worrying about the wrong thing at this point. Finish the story first, and then work from there.
I don't mean to be a stickler or anything, but are we using Similes or Metaphors? Because a lot of these examples are similes. Anyway... The...
Thank you kindly.
It's been quite a while since I've published, maybe two years now. I've gotten the itch to write again however so here I am giving it another...
Separate names with a comma.