Traditional Another rejection letter

Discussion in 'Traditional Publishing' started by AnrBjotk, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. shadowwalker

    shadowwalker Contributor Contributor

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    I can definitely empathize with you - note "empathize". I've got family members who consider me a total idiot and always have. The thing I've had to accept is that, no matter how much I love them and want their respect, it's just not going to happen. I could save a boatload of drowning orphans and they'd complain that I lost the boat. And depression - been dealing with that literally for decades. It can make me focus on losing the boat regardless of saving the orphans.

    As to your writing, that's the last avenue anyone should take for validation or encouragement. It just is. Write for yourself for a while. Forget publishing for now - for a week, for a month, for a year. Let yourself write whatever you enjoy. Allow yourself to get the joy back. Then, if you want, submit excerpts to some critique groups. Discuss the writing. Don't worry about publishing - just think about writing more and better stuff.

    Good luck.
     
  2. MLM

    MLM Banned for trolling

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    Agreed. If someone is determined not to like you, I've never found that accomplishing some impressive thing ever turned them around.
     
  3. Larissa Redeker

    Larissa Redeker Active Member

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    Rejections. I know the negative side of rejections too. Rejections from everywhere (and mine now is from jobs, I'm too old to work as they say).

    Well, we can use this Holiday to write some Twilight fanfics, then an erotic novel (it's easy, as xxx movies, it doesn't need a plot), self-publish it and... voilá, a real publisher see us!!

    Ok, I'm just kidding. But you all know what writer I'm talking about ;)

    And as people say in previous post, short stories don't have a place on market those days. Only huge novels with a lot of dead and sex scenes. Or something for teenagers.
     
  4. HelloThere

    HelloThere Senior Member

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    Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say.
    Some things in life are bad,
    They can really make you mad.
    Other things just make you swear and curse.
    When you're chewing on life's gristle,
    Don't grumble, give a whistle!
    And this'll help things turn out for the best
    And

    Always look on the bright side of life!

    Always look on the bright side of life
    If life seems jolly rotten,
    There's something you've forgotten!
    And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,

    When you're feeling in the dumps,
    Don't be silly chumps,
    Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!
    And always look on the bright side of life

    Come on!

    Always look on the bright side of life

    For life is quite absurd,
    And death's the final word.
    You must always face the curtain with a bow!
    Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin,
    Enjoy it, it's the last chance anyhow!

    So always look on the bright side of death!
    Just before you draw your terminal breath.
    Life's a piece of shit,
    When you look at it.

    Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true,
    You'll see it's all a show,
    Keep 'em laughing as you go.
    Just remember that the last laugh is on you!

    And always look on the bright side of life

    Always look on the bright side of life

    Come on guys, cheer up

    Always look on the bright side of life

    Always look on the bright side of life

    Worse things happen at sea you know

    Always look on the bright side of life

    I mean, what have you got to lose?
    you know, you come from nothing
    you're going back to nothing
    what have you lost? Nothing!

    Always look on the bright side of life
     
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  5. TheDapperJack

    TheDapperJack New Member

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    ^Hhhmm, I see your Life of Brain reference and raise you a Holy Grail reference!

    Hey man, you should cheer up. I mean, these guys are pretty damn happy, what's stopping you?

    "We're Knights of the Round Table
    We dance whene'er we're able
    We do routines and chorus scenes
    With footwork impeccable

    We dine well here in Camelot
    We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot

    We're Knights of the Round Table
    Our shows are formidable
    But many times we're given rhymes
    That are quite unsingable

    We're opera-mad in Camelot
    We sing from the diaphragm a lo-o-o-o-t

    In war we're tough and able
    Quite indefatigable
    Between our quests, we sequin vests
    And impersonate Clark Gable

    It's a busy life in Camelot
    I have to push the pram a lot"
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2014
  6. HelloThere

    HelloThere Senior Member

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    let's not get started on a monty python quoting spree. As much as I would love to I don't think it's entirely useful for the dude dealing with his rejection letter.
     
  7. TheDapperJack

    TheDapperJack New Member

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    Spoilerized for your convenience.
    *tips hat*
     
  8. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    jack...
    i love that typo, 'life of brain'!

    scenes of the movie version are flashing before my eyes..................... :cool:
     
  9. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    It's a parody on the search for the Holy Grial...
     
  10. cutecat22

    cutecat22 The Strange One Contributor

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    You can't please all the people all the time so you may as well spend the energy pleasing yourself. Don't let others squish your dreams!
     
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  11. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    I'd just like to point out that, when it comes to rejections, JK Rowling was a piker. The Guinness Book of Records used to list British crime novelist John Creasey as the all time champ when it came to getting rejections - he collected 743 rejection letters! But he became one of the most successful writers of his time, publishing over 600 (!) novels and selling more than eighty million copies. Movies and TV shows were based on his work.

    The lesson? Even the most successful writers get rejected a ton of times. Though Hemingway said the most essential equipment for a writer is "a built-in, shock-proof shit detector," a very strong case can be made that what a writer really needs, more than anything else, is persistence. Blind, stupid, pig-headed, laughable, hopeless, gigantic, magnificent persistence!

    :)
     
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  12. Man in the Box

    Man in the Box Active Member

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    Read my sig. There's hope for all of us, if Meyer managed to get published.

    Not saying my WIP is better than Twilight (at this stage it probably still isn't), but your manuscript possibly is.
     
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  13. jazzabel

    jazzabel Agent Provocateur Contributor

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    I'm not saying I know how it is to cope with rejection and hardship if you also suffer from depression, but I imagine it would be a real struggle. Every time I start feeling consistently down, I fight it tooth and nail. I'm lucky to not have needed antidepressants so far, but I needed vitamins, thai chi, being outside and a routine, so between all that, and a loving relationship which I'm lucky to have, I manage to pull myself out. I don't know if you are willing to try anything like that? Maybe you already have, and it made no difference?

    The reality of writing is that you must not allow your self-esteem to be destroyed by criticism. You must learn to see criticism as opportunity to improve. What's also good about feedback is that people often give their own ideas about how it could be done better, so you have lots to go on. You don't have to accept everything the critics tell you, but see it as an opportunity nonetheless. You must believe in your own intelligence and talent enough to understand that even if you suck now, after years of practice, you'll get it. It might take longer, and you will need extra energy (see above, it really works) but if you work on yourself mentally, it can really help. There are techniques you can try (again, maybe you already have) to help you control the negative thinking spiral which tends to sap all your motivation and strength. Set the bar very high. Be your own worst critic. But be kind to yourself, as just another writer trying to hone his craft. Good luck!
     
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  14. cutecat22

    cutecat22 The Strange One Contributor

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    I had a book rejected 25 times before I self published it. And yes, I have suffered depression in the past but it was not book/writing related. I am rather pig-headed when it comes to my writing, if someone doesn't like what I've written, I will take on board their criticism but I won't go out of my way to change anything if I don't think it needs changing.

    First and foremost, I write for myself, for the achievement of starting something that I go on to finish and put out there for the world to see. It's not about sales figures, writing for a living or even living the dream (whatever that means - it's different for everyone) but just to be able to have the patience, resilience, willingness to research, support of people close to you and knowing that there are people who love what you write, that makes it all worthwhile.

    I had my dreams squashed when I was at school, by people who shouldn't have squashed them and it took me 25 years to pluck up the courage to say "I'm going to do this!" so, absolutely DO NOT give up, for anyone.

    Don't let anyone deter you from telling your stories, they don't have to be bestsellers but they do have to be what you want them to be. Don't let anyone tell you, you are not good enough because, you are!

    There is no real ruler to measure how good each writer is, there are so many genres out there, so many sub-genres even and so many readers and however you get your book out there, I can guarantee you, someone will love what you write.
     
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  15. mysterynonamer

    mysterynonamer New Member

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    I think the biggest question here is, why do you write? If you write for fun, for yourself, well, then find joy in just writing. Publishing it should be nothing more than a plus. If you write to change the world or the like, self-publish or something. If you write to get complimented and acknowledged, maybe even for money, brace yourself for more emotional hurt. Getting legitimately published is like being a celebrity, except your book is the celebrity, not you. And as everyone knows, there is not one celebrity in this world that every single person alive loved. Going down this road, persevering through the rejections and finally getting published, won't be quite as picturesque as I'd like it to be, I'd think. Someone out there is going to bash your work for no other reason than bashing it.
    As for the publishing part, well, not everyone marries the first person they date, right? Or second, third, fourth, twentieth, whatever. Try get a literary agent first or something, that might help (though you'll definitely have to brace yourself for more rejections and silent treatments, because literary agents are probably like publishers/editors too).
    [of course, these are my opinions only, not facts or anything serious like that. Just putting my twopence in :) Good luck, random person!]
     
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  16. MrMidnight

    MrMidnight Member

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    Every time you get knocked down a peg in life, at least when I do, I tend to go to a place I know I am wanted and loved. I'll visit family or some friends that really care, take a day or two to detach from the situation, and then I'll feel the need to get up, dust off, and make things happen again.

    "The greatest revenge is massive success" - Tony Robbins.

    Not saying you need "revenge", but doubters should drive you to perfect your craft and carry on. Most of the greatest authors, song writers, musicians, even athletes get rejected, told their work is not good enough, get kicked when they are down. It happens.

    Steve Jobs once said (and many others, paraphrased), "The rules are made and the world is run by people no smarter than you."

    One person or one company's rejection, or even a few, mean nothing. Sure, its good to take constructive criticism and improve, but don't let it be a detriment to you. You still have plenty of options, plenty of things you can do, so there is no need to give up yet.

    Keep your head up,
    Midnight
     
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  17. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    OP,

    To echo what others said, write for yourself. Write because you enjoy the craft, write for that reward that you've completed something. That you've put something on paper and wrote it from beginning to the end. Publishing is just a bonus. If there's any writer out there that's making you feel bad because you are not publishing, then they need to shut their mouths and write. There's absolutely no shame in doing what you love in your own spare time for the sake of loving it.

    You're not a failure. Don't listen to your mother. Did she write a story from beginning to end all by herself? If not, well guess what? You've just one-upped her. You did something she didn't do and probably would never do. You're not an idiot, you're the guy who wrote something. You wrote and finished something, so be proud of that. An idiot is the guy who says he wants to be a writer but doesn't bother to write anything down (ie, me if I don't get my butt going.)

    Now, let's say you do want to publish? That's absolutely cool too! However, I should caution you to not place your entire self worth on publishing. If you want the self worth of having accomplished things, then you've already accomplished one thing. You've written a first draft from beginning to end.

    Here's the thing about rejections. They don't do it because they hate you. They do it for reasons opposite of 'we hate the newbie'; mostly either because your book wasn't what they were looking for, or because they found a lot of errors in your manuscript. If it is the former, well, there are always other publishing companies who might want your story, so keep shooting it out to publisher to publisher. As they say, you'll have a lot of 'no' before you get that one 'yes' you want. Keep at it! You'll get there. If it were the latter, and they offered suggestions, it might be a good idea to look at it and find out what it is you can do to make your manuscript better.

    There are, of course, other routes to go besides the traditional. You can self-publish your work, for instance. :D I'm not sure if it's any easier, but that's an option.

    You'll get there, OP! Keep at it!
     
  18. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Cheers to @Link the Writer for one of the most positive and inspirational posts I've ever seen on this forum!
    :)
     
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  19. AnrBjotk

    AnrBjotk New Member

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    Hard to see what I'm typing through the tears, but: I got the official rejection letter today. Of the 13 short stories, ONE was sort of good. But the rest were bad, apparently. Ok language, bad characters, bad plots, bad suspense.
    Two years of my life. Gone.
    I feel such a FOOL. I let them make me think I had a shot. Why was I so dumb? And why, when my texts always get so much more positive feedback than the others, am I the one who get rejected? What is that? A joke? A trap? Are the trying to push me over the edge or don't they care?
    So harsh, so brutal.
    That's it. The tiny fragment of my confidence is gone. No chance.
    Now people will know I'm a failure. I've failed at everything else in life, now this. No redemption. No balance. No hope.
    I've never felt this low.
    And it wasn't even like getting published would solve my life or anything. It would just give me ONE good thing, for a change. Something I could cling to, like a raft, a life preserver. Something to keep me from falling under. No I have nothing. Nothing to keep me going anymore.
    I'm such a failure.
    When will I learn? Nothing ever works. Everything is sh*t.
     
  20. GoldenGhost

    GoldenGhost Senior Member

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    As a recovered junky, I can't stress enough how much I 'feel' for you, but the harsh truth is, you shouldn't be subjecting yourself to such needless suffering. Writing is something you should enjoy, not base your self-worth on, and it most definitely shouldn't dictate how you feel, though I understand that's easier said than done. And let's be real--I mean really real. Do you think getting faded is going to make you feel better, or help you deal with your lack of confidence and other 'issues'?

    Anyway, you're not the only one who's struggled with confidence. Writers throughout time have struggled with confidence, so you're definitely not alone in that regard, on multiple levels. In my opinion, the fact that you are a recovering addict and/or sober means that you must be diligent in doing what you can to maintain a level of acceptance at all times--something that takes serious action and practice and hard-fucking-work, and something that also requires some very serious soul-searching, which means you might have to face the reality that your work may never be as good as you would like it to be, and that you might have to re-evaluate your pipe-dreams and delusions and ground yourself in order to first grow as a person, before you can as a writer. Practicing acceptance should be your priority, because it will determine your overall state of mind at any given time, and through any test life throws your way. Your writing practice should not be placed above that practice--you're state of mind is much, much more important.

    If it would make you feel better, I could send you the many short-story attempts of mine that maia has painted over with red ink, as well as identify the numerous magazines that have rejected my 'stories' multiple times. PM me any time.

    Hope this helps.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2014
  21. plothog

    plothog Contributor Contributor

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    Two years of work and you did well enough to get more detailed specific feedback. And that's with something as hard to get traditionally published as a short story collection. Sounds like you did quite well. That's not failure in my book. That's significant progress on the road to becoming a published writer. The majority of us on this forum haven't made that much progress yet. If you give up at this point, then I'll agree you've failed as a writer, and it'll have been entirely your own fault too. Otherwise you've got options to build on what you've already learnt.

    You can pay attention to the specific areas of weakness as you work on new material.
    You can potentially polish up the good story and submit it to magazines.
     
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  22. stevesh

    stevesh Banned Contributor

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    ... or you could spend the rest of your life sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. You do know, don't you, that the world is full of people with problems a lot more serious than finding out that they aren't the writers they thought they were ? Maybe you could find some way to spend your time helping others as a creative outlet. Self-pity is ugly and non-productive.
     
  23. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    There is a chance, AnrBjotk. Look at what they said were the reasons. The characters, plot, and suspense need tweaking. Make that your goal for the next year. Forgetting about publishing make it your goal for the next year to practice characters, plot, and suspense. Write scenes and/or chapters and put it in this and many other writing forums for critique. We'll help you get there. That's why forums like this exists. We'll be happy to look at what you've got.

    If you want to get confidence that you can do things, you can try sculpting/modeling. There's bound to be a hobby store somewhere in your area, so go check it out. Find a model you like, buy the paints and tools and make a model. Keep doing it until you have a shelf of models that you've completed. Put that shelf where it'll be the first thing you see when you walk into your room/any room so you can see them and say to yourself, "I built them."

    You can also garden. Granted it would depend on where you live, the type of soil you have, and the plants that can grow there, but from what I've been told, it's a very rewarding project, and you get to be outside moving dirt around and get sweaty. :D

    You could also get into videogames. Playing and beating videogames can inspire some confidence. What sort of game are you interested in? You'll never know unless you play them. I'm into fantasy RPG games, and while I've played some sci-fi or horror games, I feel more at home in fantasy games. So what games do you like? Go out there and explore!

    Point is, there are so many things out there you can do that will instill a confidence and self-worth in you. And your mother? Don't even give her a second thought. Don't give anyone who gives you sh** a single thought.

    EDIT:
    I need to ask you something, OP. Do you have chronic depression, or any specific deep depression? The reason I ask is because if that's the case then this writing thing is just a symptom, something you're trying to do to get rid of it. I can totally understand why, my thought is just...

    If you feel this low, this useless, then let me tell you something and it may be something you've heard a million times before. That's because I don't know how it say it differently. We're here for you, OK? We're here. We're not your mother, and for once that's not an insult. We're not the bitches and sons of bitches that want to tear you down. We're here. We want to help you. We'll point you to wherever you need to go in order to make these feelings go away. We're not doctors, but we certainly can provide some support for you. It may be that instead of taking care of the writing, we need to take care of you first. Once the horrible feelings go away, then we can focus on the writing.

    Sorry if it sounds preachy and all, but I just wanted to put that out there just in case.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2014
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  24. AnrBjotk

    AnrBjotk New Member

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    I know I'm doing what's called "emotional blackmail" here, but to be truthful: I feel my sobriety is seriously threatened here. Why should I stay sober when there is no hope for any sort of life? Everything the last two years have been based on this infantile, pathetic, sad idea that I was somehow good enough. That I actually had any talent.
    Now I'm just another unemployed loser with no future.


    Detailed feedback? Please. They told me the first story was fairly good and that the rest lacked any criteria for good writing. That's GREAT feedback. Basically: I can't write, except for that one story I stumbled on to. If they had at LEAST said they liked some of the other stories, or even parts, or something that could make me think: Yes, now I'll just work f**king hard for two more years and I'm home free. But no, it was all crap, apparently. All of it. Just throw it in the trash.
    The sad part: I still feel so strongly about most of the stories. They feel like family. I KNOW these stories, and now I have to kill them. And for what? Another two years. And then another two years until the inevitable suicide?


    I've spent seven years studying art. I have a master degree in art. And I failed at that too. That's why writing was my last shot. Hobbies? Sure... but I need an identity. I need something to be. And I've failed at everything else.
    I've been in therapy for 11 years, I've done all the stuff. What I need is to NOT f**k-up at something for once.

    It's so embarrassing. Everybody thinks I'm a failure and here comes another reason. "You wasted two years writing something that isn't even real writing?"
     
  25. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    You wrote something from beginning to end, man! You wrote a frickin' story! I envy you, I really do. If I were to tell everyone here what I've been doing with my writing since I first joined this site, they would most likely slap me across the face and scream how much of a stupid idiot I was being. I dream of the day I get to come here and say, "Hey everyone! Just got my first rejection letter! Wheeee, let's party!!"

    You should be proud of yourself. Damned proud. You're miles ahead of me. Miles. Let me emphasis this again. You. Wrote. Something. From. Beginning. To. End. What did I write? Nothing!! I wish I could be where you are now, a completed manuscript and some rejection letters.

    No one's saying you have to kill these stories. We're just saying improve on them. Give us excerpts and chapters and we'll see what the deal is. That's why we're here. As Mckk one said, if Stephanie Meyers could publish Twilight, then you've got a chance. Please don't give up now because one publisher didn't accept your work. Give us what you've done, and we'll see what we can do with it. We may be able to give advice that'll improve your story.

    You didn't screw this up. You just experienced what is natural among all writers. I, too, will experience rejection if I ever submit something for publishing. It takes a lot of 'no' for one 'yes'. The publisher told you what they thought was wrong with your manuscript. Now you must work on what is wrong, and we will help you there. There are many writing forums just like this that will help you. It's just a stumble, and that's fine. That's perfectly fine.

    Here is your chance to prove them wrong. How many people stood up and said, "They thought I couldn't do this, but I rubbed it back into their faces". I remember seeing a quote that basically said, "Want me to do something? Tell me I can't do it." Just about everyone that's ever done something has said that. Just about everyone that's ever done something has had someone else say they can't do it and that they should just give up. I bet Ray Charles gave the middle finger to everyone who told him he couldn't play the piano because he was blind.

    You can do this, man. It's all about the journey Right now, you most likely just fell off a cliff and are hanging on the edge by your fingertips. We'll help you back onto the road. Don't give up. You seem to really have wanted to do this, so we're going to help you do this. Again, stumbles happen. Rejections happen. Don't give up because of that. Everyone gets rejected at some point. Everyone.
     
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