The Not Happy Thread

Do you already know why you passed out?

 

Having trouble signing up online? The only other thing I can think of is that they didn't give you that weird plastic velcro you need.

 

When I was 10/11 I loved the author Darren Shan, I read both of his main series two or three times each. I saw his name on a book in a store and went over to see what he was up to nowadays, feeling a little nostalgic. To my horror I found this atrocity:


Zombies? You're jumping on the zombie bandwagon? I haven't got anything against zombies, but you're better than that Mr. Shan. *disappointed face*

 

Well, in his defense, maybe he did something new and creative with the zombie franchise? That could happen!

 

No, ours was "invalid" for some reason.

 

Sure

 

Yay for Easter Day pizza. At least it is Tombstone pizza to honor Jesus.

So who wants to adopt me just for holiday meals and when I'm pregnant? That adoption has to including travel and lodging as well.

 

I need to stop doing my writing in Google Docs. If you've ever used that site, you know when it goes "offline" or says "reconnecting" you can't type, cut, copy, paste, or do anything else with it. I was right in the middle of typing a conversation and now I'm stuck because of that stupid "oops, that's an error" message.

 

That sucks. That sounds like an intolerable flaw with the program.

My dog barfed over the back of the couch. Yuk! Of all the places.

 

Have you tried dropbox? That's pretty good for working on the move.

 

So Easter Sunday my grandma wanted as many members of my extended family to go to her place because she had something important to say and wanted to tell as many as possible in person. Turns out she was letting us know that her doctor has given her about 30 days to live.

I couldn't be there in person as I am currently a hell of a long way away from Nebraska, but my mom filled me in that night. Of course it is a serious blow since she has been the head of our family since grandpa passed almost 13 years ago, but my family as always been the "stiff upper lip" type and my grandma is certainly no exception. As soon as she informed everyone, she went straight on to planning; making sure her wishes are known and putting together her own arrangements to ensure that her passing will be as dignified and organized as possible.

One of the things that makes matters so difficult is that there is still quite a bit of uncertainty. Her COPD has progressed to the point that her doctor doesn't believe that further treatment will do any good, though several of my aunts and uncles are insisting she get a second opinion. She may or may not go to a different doctor (she is a stubborn old woman) and s/he may or may not give her a different prognosis. I am almost certainly going to fly back sometime in the coming days, but this also depends on when and if she gets another opinion and what the other doctor may say.

On top of my family's general out-look, I've never really had a weepy personality. While it would be a bold-faced lie to say that I didn't break down and cry when I got the news (my sister and I were both particularly close to her,) I managed to get a grip, pull myself back together, and get myself back into relative normalcy by the end of the same night I got the news. Unfortunately, I've discovered in the last few days that this is nearly impossible to maintain when the people around you can't or won't.

In this area, more than any thing else I've found, my husband and his family are the exact polar opposites of mine. I honestly don't know if it is cultural or just personal, but at this point neither of them make it any easier. His parents are incredibly sweet, and I can tell they are going out of their way to make me feel better, but they are treating me like I'm made of glass; that at any second I'm about to collapse and start sobbing. All of the uncertainty surrounding what is going on has also made them curious, and they insist on discussing it any time I am in the same room; constantly asking questions I've either already answered or told them that I don't know. It's been less than three days and I've already started avoiding them completely in an effort to keep my sanity.

To make things even worse, my husband has a moderate anxiety disorder. While it was never in question that I am going to fly back and he would never raise an objection to it, he is already starting to have minor panic attacks due to the fact that I'll be traveling alone. That he also seems to expect me to break down any second isn't helping him any either.

Last night when he expressed amazement at how "together" I seem, I told him point blank that we both can't fall apart. I immediately regretted it afterwards, it's not like it's his fault, but between trying to deal with my own pain, avoiding my in-laws without hurting their feelings, and trying to calm his anxiety- I'm starting to feel strained. At first it was just painful, then it was frustrating, now it's just emotionally exhausting.

Sorry for the long rant. I really needed to get it out.

 

So sorry to hear that, Wyr. It's tough to lose your grandma -- I lost mine just over 2 years ago and I still miss her very much. I know it's extra hard being so far away. Sending you virtual hugs.

 

Sorry to hear that. Can you talk to her on the phone? My Mom refused hearing aids and it was impossible to talk to her on the phone in her last few years. And she refused to use a computer so email was out. I even tried to set up a video phone for her but the thing worked in my house calling my home phone number to my business phone number but when we set it up it wouldn't work from her house to mine.

So I drove back and forth to Oregon more times than I wanted to. But Brazil to Nebraska, I can see it's not an option.

I probably don't need to tell you to write to her and send her pictures.

Maybe her doctor will turn out to be wrong.

 

Does size of a person have any correlation to how fast somebody can be labeled as an asshole or obtrusive?

I'm 6'4", 250 lbs in fairly decent shape with almost black irises. I'm not terribly tactful, but not purposely offensive. My humor is a dry, witty, smartass combo.

I think it is easier for people to write me off as an asshole than it would be for an avg height/weight guy.

I don't know. Maybe I am a hard-to-get-along-with asshole.

 

Pretty sure it's the latter.

Maybe your odd sense of humor is just misunderstood. I like you.

 

You're a big guy. Maybe you come across as intimidating to some people. When you make a dry, smartass comment, people might not be thinking it's a joke; they might be thinking "This big guy means it, so I'd better not laugh or he'll hit me."

Just a thought.

 

Unfortunately, I think you're right.

 

I went to a show and by coincidence an estranged friend was in the area before showtime. She came up to me despite the fact that I was eating and reading a book and settled in a lobby nook. I felt she was judging me for going to a show alone and I felt very uncomfortable with her looming over me. To be honest, I didn't ever want to see her again after the stuff she pulled during our fallout. It was a very bad surprise and thoughts about her kept creeping into my mind during parts of the show.

 

You sound very insecure here....usually the mark of an asshole..

 

I'd say figure out what kind of support you need from your husband and his family just now, then tell them straight out. They are probably struggling, not sure what they should do for you, and of course they're giving you what they would probably want themselves, if the situation was reversed.

I have an friend who discovered she had breast cancer last year, and elected to have a double mastectomy to deal with it. She's in her mid-70s, and said 'what do I need them for now?' Turned out it was the best choice for her, the cancer hadn't spread, she didn't need radio or chemo therapy, and basically she should be okay. She told me that what she did NOT want was oodles of sympathy and high-level emotion—just matter-of-fact support. It was easy to give it to her, once I knew what she wanted.

I'd say tell them what you want. I bet you'll all feel more comfortable about it. And good luck to you, and your grandma.

 

Blessings to you Mr Wyr at this most frustrating time. Your dear gran sounds like a tough cookie. My dad was like that too, when he died last year, he was singing his head off in the ward entertaining all the patients before falling unconscious.

now for my daily whine.

Would you like to get up in the morning and wait an hour before you had a brew?
a stupid women at work thinks our patients ought to. I made little betty a cup of tea after she got herself up and dressed, and she asked for a cuppa, So I made her one, poor lady hadn't had one for 10 hours, only to be told, no, we don't make them drinks until we finish getting them all up.

whats the world coming to when a little sweet old lady cam't even have a brew when she wakes up?

If I EVER end up in a nursing home, I'll make sure to pack my pea shooter

 

Grrr. Just Grrr. Or should that be Sssss... Mieow.

Anyone who knows me knows how hard it can be to stick my writers cap on despite my best intentions. I'm in cracking writing form right now.

Not only is my head choc-full of ideas but the words are flowing. It's been like this since yesterday morning so I am determined to make hay while the sun shines, to make up for the fact that, generally speaking, my brain feels like it is in the process of getting mulched.

So, I was up early this morning. My flat mate is in hospital for a small op, so no distractions there. I nipped out and bought fresh milk, had a good breakfast and sat down with my coffee and then it started.

My geriatric moggie won't leave me alone. The amount of backspacing I've had to do due to him standing all over my keyboard to get access to my lap isn't funny and as I work in half lotus position with my keyboard balanced on my thighs, there's no way around. He even managed to highlight and delete a whole narrative passage. (Thank goodness for autosave.)

'Throw him out' I hear you say. I wish. Unfortunately, my mog is a bit broken up right now. He knows there is something up with my flat mate and he's seeking comfort. On Tuesday night, he broke into my bedroom three times to do the Lassie thing, prompting: Yes, cat, I'm perfectly aware he's still not home yet, now will you f off and let me sleep?

Slater.​

Named and shamed. (Although, I'll admit to being rather pleased he actually gives a shit, what with being a cat and all. ) I feel so much better now.

 

You may very well be right. However, I see being an asshole as a purposefully malicious act; I am not intentionally mean.

I think a lot has to do with the presentation. I had a friend in Mississippi that could sit down at a table and tell a couple all the dirty things he would like to do with the wife in all sincerity and they would just laugh it off. "Oh, that Forrest, what a kidder." Seriously, everybody loved this guy and he was truly a sleaze. If one quarter of the shit that left his mouth left mine, somebody would have shot me by now.

 

Whose wife was he talking about though?

 

The other dude's.