Explain a book (badly)

Discussion in 'Word games' started by Wreybies, Sep 11, 2014.

  1. Sifunkle

    Sifunkle Dis Member

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    Les Miserables - In a world of opportunistic backstabbers, an ex-con helps a hopelessly naive bloodline fight against Darwinian selection, in an effort to save his own immortal soul. All the while, an irrationally relentless cop strives to bring him to injustice. Instead of getting jobs, a bunch of rich uni students make an ill-advised stand against the powers-that-be (and get their arses handed back to them). Society at large has a grand old time paying for gonorrhoea.
     
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  2. plothog

    plothog Contributor Contributor

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    Charlie and the chocolate factory.

    A bunch of kids go on a visit to a chocolate factory. Health and safety in the factory is ridiculously lax and most of the kids have some sort of accident.
    The factory owner gets away with this because he employs dwarves to sing about the poor morals of the victims.
     
  3. Kaitou Wolf

    Kaitou Wolf Active Member

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    Uh, duh. I knew that. The drug trip is much more interesting. As is American McGee's Alice.
     
  4. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Paradise Lost
    Adam and Eve, basically.

    Earth Abides
    There is a plague that kills almost everyone on earth, but then the main character Ish decides to rebuild civilization, and the book details all his struggles in trying to do that. Essentially, lots of stuff happens.

    (In all seriousness, Earth Abides is a fantastic novel and I urge you all to read it)
     
  5. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Horton Hears a Who!- A story written by Seuss to make up for his racist sketches of Japanese people during World War II, it's about a huge elephant who defends a people so small that they live on a plant. His enemy? A bunch of genocidal kangaroo creatures.

    The Lorax- Greed and industrialization is the enemy of Nature! So speakeths a weird creature who lives in a tree and preaches about protecting Nature rather than actually doing anything to protect it. As a result, the world he claimed to protect basically turns into a ruined landscape, but it's totally not his fault! Grr, it was that mean old greedy, faceless industry guy's fault! >:[

    How the Grinch Stole Christmas- It's perfectly OK to break into a guy's house at night and steal his holiday food and ornaments because you hate the holiday. So long as you give it back, he'll embrace you with open arms and let you eat at the table with him.

    The Cat in the Hat- There is absolutely nothing creepy at all about a giant, bi-pedaled cat wearing a red bowtie and a comically large hat entering your house and playing with your kids. Nothing creepy about it at all.
     
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  6. Lae

    Lae Contributor Contributor

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    The Bible
    the main protagonist (god) is a supernatural power hungry omnipotent father figure who wants to be worshiped and feared by all decides to make a magical land for one butt nekkid man and one butt nekkid woman. Said butt nekkid folk were made in his image (testament to our so far unlikable hero's ego) but failed to have an perceivable common sense, idea of right or wrong etc but were allowed to dwell and wander in a garden in which he also placed a snake (Satan, the main antagonist)...and a magic apple with repercussions that would put snow white's archenemy to shame.

    Anyway after Mr and Mrs nekkid trust evil snake (Satan) and eat said apple it all kicks off. Much killing ensues (unforeseen from the outset) and the roles reverse, god in his insatiable lust for power manages to rack up a number of kills that would put any veteran CoD player to shame. Literally thousands....Satan only manages a handful.

    There is no perceivable beginning, middle or end, no real plot or story arc and generally no real aim.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2014
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  7. PensiveQuill

    PensiveQuill Senior Member

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    Pride & Prejudice
    Snarky chick with embarrassing parents hates everyone. She hates a guy too, then loves him and he's super rich. She's impressed by super rich part, checks out his house and stuff. Her younger sister's a bit of a slut.

    Emma
    Rich chick with nothing to do tries to set her friends up with each other. Creepy guy she knows wants to bang her but she's like...eww! Meanwhile she decides she loves some guy who's vaguely related but also super rich. They end up together.

    Sense & Sensibility
    Poor chicks with no cash end up in farmhouse. Rich but old guy lives nearby. Young hot guy lives nearby but just wants to shag before marrying super rich pretty girl. Poor hot chick decides rich old dude not a bad way to go.

    Mansfield Park
    Dowdy orphan marries first cousin because incest's not a problem when money's involved.

    King Henry V
    Kings and kingly stuff and a bit of drinking.

    The Mirror Of Her Dreams
    Bumbling dickhead without brain cells (but supposedly hot with hotter brother) somehow gets bookish female character into bed but we sadly miss out on a menage et trois. By the end of the story he figures out what his dick is for. Oh there's magic and glass involved too. Still cannot find credible reason for why she didn't bang his brother.

    Gate To The Women's Country
    Chicks go to the mens country once a year to screw whoever they think is bonable. Before they go they are inpregnated with the fertilised eggs of whimps to create master race of whimps. A brief interlude with inbred free-ranging rapists occurs but everything is okay in the end.

    Lives of Girls & Women
    Light hearted romp into the world of child molestation by pervert uncles. WTF was my year 7 teacher thinking.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2014
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  8. PensiveQuill

    PensiveQuill Senior Member

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    Bronte - pick one
    Clueless ingenue in spooky country manor with lots of fog. At least one character is insane. Victorian BDSM ensues.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2014
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  9. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Richard II- Some idiot king with a godlike complex thinks that by virtue of being a king, no one can overthrow him. They do and he dies attacking a guard in a fit of denial.

    Wicked- The Wicked Witch of the West gets a sob story.

    Grendel- The monster from Beowulf gets a sob story.
     
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  10. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Hahaha! This one made me lol, hard. :D I've not actually read it either, any good?
     
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  11. plothog

    plothog Contributor Contributor

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    Enders Game

    There is an all powerful alien menace. But not all is lost. All the government needs to do is create a "school" where the kids mostly play a sort of zero g laser tag. The boy who murders his classmate will be the world's saviour.
     
  12. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    From what I understand, Grendel was actually a talented reader who wanted to discuss philosophy. I dunno, check out Thug Notes' video on it, he'll explain it better than I can. ;)
     
  13. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Haha, I remember that video. :) I first heard about it from that video actually. I know Beowulf well. 'Hweat we gar-dena in gear dagum, ped cyinga prim grefrunon, hu oa appelingas ellen fremedon'.
     
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  14. PensiveQuill

    PensiveQuill Senior Member

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    Farseer Trilogy - Assassins Apprentice, Royal Assassin et al.
    Bastard son of a prince who is incredibly inept at just about everything and does, well....not much really. Cool moments include being necroed in the snow, having a wolf for a pal and being the subject of about 50 murder attempts that all fail stupidly. This author is an expert at introspecting for 200 pages at a time and making riding across a forest and back again the entire plot.

    Thomas Convenant Chronicles
    2,000 pages of a story where you dearly wish the MC had fallen in a ditch and died at about page 10.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2014
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  15. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Wow, I was going to commend you on how truly terrible your rendition of this story was, and then I realized my head was in a different book. ;) I was like, where did that plot come from and what happened to him being a tyrannosaur?? :p

    [​IMG]
     
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  16. PensiveQuill

    PensiveQuill Senior Member

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    @Wreybies, thats a joke, right?
     
  17. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Yup. At my own expense. :oops:
     
  18. PensiveQuill

    PensiveQuill Senior Member

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    Alice Hartley's Happiness
    Bored housewife goes on unfettered sex romp in English countryside with uni student possessing more semen than brain cells.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2014
  19. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Let me try 1984 again.

    1984- A guy living in a police state where your every movements are monitored is the most dumbest, cowardly person in that country. When he meets a guy who 'claims' to be part of a resistance group, he doesn't stop to question if this may be a trap. Sure enough, it is. The guy was a plant to root out would-be traitors to the police state. Our idiot hero is taken to Room 101 where he's forced-fed live rats or something. Rather than admit his own mistakes or do anything, he whines and says that they should be doing all this to Julia, the cute girl he met at the bar.
     
  20. PensiveQuill

    PensiveQuill Senior Member

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    Lord Of The Rings
    A ring rolls around in the mud for a bit, rolls around in a pocket for a bit, then gets thrown in a volcano. Has orcs.
     
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  21. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

    A group of dissolute Americans traipse around western Europe, watching bullfights and getting tired of each other, until it's all over. Then a couple of them wish it had been a better trip.
     
  22. naturemage

    naturemage Active Member

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    Ok, I'll take Mckk's challenge: His Dark Materials.

    Tantrum throwing girl saves every world in existence, but loses the love of her life who she doesn't really know that well but loves him because they both have an item that helps save the worlds.
     
  23. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Let me try my hand on...GREEK MYTHOLOGY! :D

    The Illiad- Achilles basically quits his men as they fight the Trojans in the tenth year of their long war with the Troy. Why? Because he wasn't 'honored' enough. The gods tell him what a whiny butthurt he's being. After he hears that his best friend had been killed, he returns to the fighting, drags Hector's corpse back to his tent, gives Hector back up to Hector's dad, and is eventually killed by Paris who shoots him in the heel. Achilles' last thoughts must've went along the lines of, "Sweet HADES!! Of all the places on my body!!"

    The Odyssey- Odysseus is about to come home from Troy, but he decides to be an idiot and piss off the gods. As punishment, he must make a ten-year long sea route back home complete with sea monsters, losing most (if not all) of his men. Meanwhile, back at home, his wife spends the next 17+ years trying to ward off horny suitors who want her for their wife because she believes Odysseus is alive. Odysseus finally returns home, has to go through one more test, then gets to go stab-happy on the suitors with his adult son.

    Agamemnon- A king gets killed by wife. Cassandra is a slave brought home from Troy to be sacrificed. Electra and Orestes, the kids, believe their mom killed Agamemnon unjustly and attempts to kill the mom. Because just playing detective, gathering the evidence and reporting it to authorities just won't cut it? :p

    Antigone- A girl breaks the law to have her dead brother buried. Because the honor of a man who had fought against your own homeland triumphs over the peace of mind of your own family.

    Prometheus- A dude brings fire to the Earth. As punishment, he's chained to a rock and has his liver pecked out. A bunch of gods and goddesses visits, but he tells them that it was basically worth it and he regrets nothing.
     
  24. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    That is surely the entire Oresteia too, right? I must say, The Oresteia is my favourite ancient work, I love it. My current WIP is even based on it. :)

    Ovid's Metamorphosis
    - Changes! It's all abotu changes. Men change into women, women change into men, maidens are changed to stone and trees, men are changed to corpses, and Caesar is changed into a god. I'm not being flippant, this is what the poem is about!

    House of Leaves
    A house is bigger on the inside than on the outside, and the Navidsons who live in it find out they have access to a secret world that reflects the emotions of anyone who enters it. And some other stuff happens around this narrative too, including a mental patient that is writing to a tattoo artist who is going insane while reading the Navidson record that he got from a mysterious man named Zampano. What does it all mean? Lul wut?
     
  25. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Hahaha you had me thinking I misremembered 1984!! Yeah when I read your description, I was like, but isn't that Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit Random Number? (yeah, can't never remember the number...)
     

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