Traditional Another rejection letter

That's what I've learned. You can either sit there and feel sorry for yourself, or you can pick yourself up and move on with the rest of the pack because like it or not, we all have suffered. Some suffered worse than we have, and would do anything to switch places with us.

OP, here's what I've noticed within the past five years. Something that, yes, Dragonball Z had taught me. For those who remembered that show, remember the very last battle against Majin Buu? Goku and Vegeta were getting pounded around like a baseball? Guess who had to help them. It wasn't the Kais (the gods of that show), it wasn't some random strong alien. No, it was the humans. Y'know, us. You and me. The little non-powerful people who can't fly or be born with monumental strength and be able to shoot ki blasts out from our palms. The very people Goku and Vegeta were trying to save. Know what this taught me? It taught me that for all the help someone's giving you, it's wasted unless you give them something to work with, unless you allow them to help you. You can be the strongest person in the world, but if you are getting beaten to hell and back, and you need help, you need to give others the chance to help you. In their case, they needed the humans to raise their hands in the air to give them energy. But if the humans were busy going, "Oh no, we can't do it because we're writhing maggots compared to you!" then the battle would've been lost. They had to get a grip and just do it (now where have I heard that before? Oh, right, Cogito said that once...)

I don't know your therapists, but I do know this: you have to give them a chance to help you. You have to be willing to let them help you. If one doesn't work, fine, go find another one, but the point is, you have to give them that chance. It's like this: if I'm helping a man who is drowning, I want to trust that he's not going to try and drown me as well during our swim back to land/the edge of a pool.

Depression, from what I'm seeing here, makes everything look much worse than it really is. From what I'm seeing, you're basically at war with your own brain who is damned determined to convince you that you're a failure. And you're already surrendering before the fighting even starts? Now what kind of commander does that, hmm? "Soldiers, we are outnumbered and outgunned. I suggest we surrender immediately!" No, they go on and on about how despite the odds, they'll fight with honor/valor/courage/whatever they've got to keep going. That's what you must do. Fight this depression. Fight it with everything you've got, but you must be willing to let yourself get a chance to fight.

Of course, with that said, we can't decide for you what you should do. Only you can do that, but if there's one thing I can say about humans is that we don't like giving up, especially if the odds are stacked against us, so we're more prone to encourage you to keep going, to keep fighting. What is your choice? Fight tooth and nail to the vey end? Or wave the white flag before the fight-to-end-all-fights even starts?

 

There is a song by The Streets, a band I'm not that fond of, but they wrote one lyric for 'The Edge of the Cliff' which I heard a couple of years ago and just resonated with me so much I've never forgotten it.



"For billions of years since the outset of time
Every single one of your ancestors has survived
Every single person on your mum and dad's side
Successfully looked after and passed on to you life.
What are the chances of that, like?
It comes to me once in a while
And everywhere I tell folk it gets the best smile"

 

I'm sorry to hear about that. But, remember that there are other ways of getting your book out there. You can self-publish with so many different sources. Check out en.papyrus.ly

And as somebody said, being a writer is a tough profession. Luckily for you, you can find inspiration from your down times and translate those emotions into writing. Hope you feel better!