Create bad poetry

Near my university is a cafe that on Wednesday nights hosts a 'Bad Poetry' night, and regulars are invited to write any old drivel and preform it for the pleasure of the rest of the clientele. The only condition is each piece must be scientifically created to be devoid of quality. I thought I'd make a game of it here and see what happens.



El Notche del cabre!!!!?!


I walked into the moonlit night
And met a woman who was getting her sustenance from bins
she said
'I can taste rainbows when I hold my nose in the air

and point downwards​

into abysses
like

Dante's peak,
and with glass bottom chocolates'

i wondered if​

(Cui dono lepidum novum libellum)

I had invented time​

And thought I could see all of creation

at the end of a​

beer soaked night.

?

Trampoline

dreams​

I
me
I


!


in a shopping market I

there was a bang and

(Arma vamque cano)

buscuits.​

Let's see what you guys come up with.

 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have no mind to hear critiques from someone like you.

 

I think you have a talent, you really do! Or saying that you are talented in "bad poetry" is offensive? I am mixed up... Anyway I didn't mean it to be offensive.

 

Point is, this is a writing prompt, you try writing one now.

 

"Love Poem XXLVX"

When my heart is heavy,
You're the hot air balloon that makes it light again.
When I'm feeling blue,
You're the rainbow that brings other colors in my life.
When I'm feeling down,
You rent the movie Up and we watch it together.
Baby, I love you.

 

I wanna be stuck with you forever
like this gum on my shoe
our love is so real baby
you know it's so so true

 

I don't think that it is possible to beat "thirdwind"

Here is my first poem ever composed in english language and maybe 3rd poem composed ever:

When a flower blossoms
and the sweet nectar satisfies
the belly of a bee
the birds reply with a song of fragrance unheard
when the clouds decide to make it puffy for the day
I find out that my best friend is totally gay.

 

Rise up against your oppressors,
Pigs!
Disguise yourselves by wearing
Wigs!
Sustain yourselves by eating
Figs!
If you succeed you will obtain new
Digs!
If you fail, you'll just be bacon and
Ham!
Along with cuts of pork and
Spam!

 

To my husband John,
Juan Ponce de Leon,
My eternal spring,
Is yours to drink,
From 1960,
Through 2015

 

You know what? The first half of this poem isn't bad at all.

 

Rigamarole and roundaboutation,
cant terms spinning, such is this creation.

No story, no verse,
each line devolving from bad to worse.

Style and grammar lay butchered and dead,
such is the dire recompense in my head.

You asked my to try...
and now, face the horror of the unwary reader's cry.

 

Furred lollipops and cheesey chip bits,
paperclips, rubber bands, a dried out pen,
a terrorized dust bunny fleeing.
Out of the dark, into the light,
the roar of a vacuum, coming...

Dammit! Those were my keys...

 

Space bubble, mine.
In the dark, all down the day,
with me always keeping all,
all, that is, but the fools away.
Space bubble, mine.

Space bubble, mine.
Why is it so?
Why is it, through you,
these idiots press and go?
Space bubble, mine.

 

Heave not, O breasts of my love,
Else thy pulchritude I’ll be thinking of.
Bleed not, O heart of mine,
Else mine eyes will wind up cryin’.
Swing not, O hips of my girl,
Else you get my goddamn brain in a whirl.
Throb not, O thing in my pants,
Else my love’s Dad eyes me askance.

 

I fell on my arse
A black cat crossed my path
I nearly shat
At the drop of a hat
Is this hell?
Only time will tell
That's how I found love
A diamond in the rough

 

Two by two as the old story goes,
and so it comes from beneath,
creeping under the blanket.
Muscles tensed and waiting,
braced for the touch of those two,
icy cold hands, or worse the feet.

 

You take that back!
Insulting comments like
that
scorch me cauliflower

 

Try again. I've seen lawwwwwwwwts worse.

 

Damn @Darkkin you have a lot of bad poetry to share! Are you trying to even out things for all those contests you won?

 

Words and deeds and groceries bought,
of yin and yang, a balance sought.

The good and the bad, I write them all,
from the depth of the heart to the delights of fall.

As to the contests, my talent is naught,
I've only won 'cause I tried and fought.

 

@minstrel Damn son

 

Swine flu flow
Nose stuffed like Weezer
Got that Benadryl; I'm not a sneezer
My speakers weaker
Stole your sneakers
Drive up on that bike and hit your preacher in the geezer

 

Drinking on that Coke
I could really use a smoke
But I can't, cause my doctor said
I'll have another stroke
I can't move my arm
I'm no good on the farm
Landlord call at four and want them bills
Call that an alarm

 

Eighty-seven pounds
I eat dirt from the ground
Mom say if I dig again
She'll send me to the pound

 

An elusive fiend, friend of the tease...
Just out of reach, even when I say please.
Too long awake, but pride will not drop my knees.
But unto Sleep, I call, simply saying, please.