1. Mocheo Timo

    Mocheo Timo Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2015
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    230
    Location:
    World of Bob

    The silly theory thread

    Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by Mocheo Timo, May 29, 2015.

    I am sure everyone has heard or believes in some theory which explains why some things in life simply insist on happening. Let me give you an example:

    The sock fairy. It is a fairy who flies through people's bedrooms, stealing one pair of their socks and magically disappearing, while leaving its owner wondering if the missing pair of sock can ever be found. No one has ever seen a sock fairy. But there is plenty enough of evidence that it exists.

    Just want to hear some other "theories" like that. I'm pretty sure there are plenty out there, so if anyone knows any, make the forum believe in it too! :p
     
    Oscar Leigh, plothog and jannert like this.
  2. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    17,674
    Likes Received:
    19,889
    Location:
    Scotland
    Ways to Make Rain.

    1) Plan a barbecue. Invite lots of people. Rent a marquee.

    2) Plan an outdoor wedding. Invite lots of people. Rent a marquee.

    3) Do a large load of awkward laundry, like sheets and bedspreads, hang them out to dry, THEN GO TO WORK.

    4) Decide to mow the lawn with your electric mower.

    5) Forget to fix that leaky roof.

    ................

    Can you tell I live in Scotland? Mind you, I ended a 96-day drought in Michigan, one summer, by employing number 3. Worked a treat. Created the Mother of All Thunderstorms. Farmers were busy singing hosannas, but It Was Me.
     
    cydney, Oscar Leigh, matwoolf and 7 others like this.
  3. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2014
    Messages:
    3,420
    Likes Received:
    1,991
    My parents would talk about "The Mother and Father of All Thunderstorms"...it appears the single-parent family is on the rise.
     
  4. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    5,393
    Location:
    Funland
    You arrive at the health care center, your appointment with the doctor is at 10 am; you make sure to come at 9:50 so you don't risk being late. You see the latest patient leave the doctor's room the moment you arrive at the waiting lounge. You think, yay, I'm sure I'll be called in soon. At 10:10 there's still no sign of the doc. At 10:20, nothing. No one else has come out of the room. What's taking so long, for fuck's sake? At 10:30, still nothing.

    10:45...
    10:55...
    11:04: the doctor's door opens and she peeks out, calls your name.

    Why did it take so long?

    The theory: She's got a mini golf set she takes out after a patient leaves, then leisurely plays a few rounds while you sit in the lounge, checking your watch, cursing the world.

    Or, she's a dragon trainer. She's got a baby dragon in the cupboard, and between patients, she has to take it out, feed it, play with it, teach it to sit and roll over. This would be forgivable, the only forgivable reason to keep me waiting for an hour.
     
    Oscar Leigh, Mckk and jannert like this.
  5. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    9,991
    Location:
    Near Sedro Woolley, Washington
    Sure way to find something you've lost: Buy a replacement. It'll turn up almost immediately.
     
  6. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,704
    Likes Received:
    3,425
    Location:
    Northeast England
    Since a theory is used to build workable models and predict future events, this might actually be a scientific theory. :p
     
    Oscar Leigh and jannert like this.
  7. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    17,674
    Likes Received:
    19,889
    Location:
    Scotland
    Oh YES!!!!
     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.
  8. trimarine

    trimarine Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2015
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Bama...
    Want to give $500 to the government? Go one mile per hour over the speed limit on a long road that no-one drives on...
     
    Oscar Leigh, matwoolf and jannert like this.
  9. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    17,674
    Likes Received:
    19,889
    Location:
    Scotland
    Companies should exploit this. "Buy two now, in case you lose one." You could add a separate room to your house, to store all the duplicates. This would also cause the building trade to boom. Win win win....

    Why is that George Osborne running the finances of this country? Me me. I'll improve the economy for ya....
     
    Oscar Leigh and BrianIff like this.
  10. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,704
    Likes Received:
    3,425
    Location:
    Northeast England
    Isn't that why they have so many 'buy one, get one free' deals?
     
    Oscar Leigh and jannert like this.
  11. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    17,674
    Likes Received:
    19,889
    Location:
    Scotland
    No no, you miss the point entirely. You don't want to give the second one away for free. You don't make much money on that. You want the consumer to AUTOMATICALLY choose to buy two, just in case. You want to double your income, not get rid of stock for half price.
     
    Oscar Leigh and Lemex like this.
  12. plothog

    plothog Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    537
    Location:
    England
    The opposite of this is that umbrellas are magic rain warding sticks. The bigger, the more effective.

    If you bring a big golf umbrella with you and it doesn't rain all day, you may feel you're carting the thing around for nothing. You'd be wrong. It's far less likely to rain if you've brought your umbrella.
     
    Oscar Leigh, Mckk and jannert like this.
  13. trimarine

    trimarine Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2015
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Bama...
    Just don't buy another, then you'll lose all three.
     
    Oscar Leigh, Cave Troll and jannert like this.
  14. Lemex

    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2007
    Messages:
    10,704
    Likes Received:
    3,425
    Location:
    Northeast England
    If you want to get really drunk on a night out, leave the house promising yourself you'll not drink a lot. You'll wake up with a traffic cone on your head, garrunteed.
     
  15. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    17,674
    Likes Received:
    19,889
    Location:
    Scotland
    Oh yes, have done that. Ditto a large raincoat, carried over the arm. And wear wellies. Guaranteed NOT to rain. Did you ever get the notion that the main force driving the Universe is Perversity?
     
    Oscar Leigh and plothog like this.
  16. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    5,393
    Location:
    Funland
    Yeah, this. :D You check out the weather forecast, ok, looks like it's gonna rain. A few hours later, the streets are still dry, the clouds just hang there in the sky, indecisive, and I feel like a proper dolt, walking around in my bright blue rubber boots.
     
    Oscar Leigh, minstrel and jannert like this.
  17. RachHP

    RachHP Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2015
    Messages:
    268
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    England
    There's definitely some kind of cosmic link between cameras and skin condition.
    Plan to attend a wedding, birthday party, any place where that deadly soul catcher is wielded = the magic spell to summon acne.
     
  18. Mocheo Timo

    Mocheo Timo Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2015
    Messages:
    303
    Likes Received:
    230
    Location:
    World of Bob
    What would happen then if you hang out a large load of awkward laundry to dry, and then go out to work with a huge umbrella?

    Would it be like one of those cat-tied-to-peanut-butter-sandwich (see which side hits the ground first) kind of theories?
     
    jannert, Oscar Leigh and Sack-a-Doo! like this.
  19. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    6,541
    Likes Received:
    4,776
    Wear an extra warm coat on a chilly-looking downcast day. The sun's guaranteed to come out just when you've gone far enough from the house to make it impossible to go back and change and you're doomed to roast for the day :)

    The reverse also works. Go out with no coat on a hot sunny day - 10min later it's f-ing freezing!
     
    jannert, Oscar Leigh and Rhys like this.
  20. plothog

    plothog Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2013
    Messages:
    650
    Likes Received:
    537
    Location:
    England
    That's not an experiment I've tried, because we tend to use a tumble dryer.
    I don't know if it would cause a localised shower back home.
    If you work near enough home for that to be unrealistic I'd guess washing trumps umbrellas, because rain on the washing would be more annoying.
     
    jannert and Oscar Leigh like this.
  21. peachalulu

    peachalulu Member Reviewer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,620
    Likes Received:
    3,807
    Location:
    occasionally Oz , mainly Canada
    The washing machine is actually a time machine - warping lone socks into the past or into the future so that someone, somewhere can say - where did this sock come from? I can't find it's mate.
     
  22. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    6,541
    Likes Received:
    4,776
    And then one day a child climbs into the washing machine... At first she didn't know that anything had happened, because when she crawled out again, everything was the same as her own house. The countertops, the red-cushioned chairs around the dining table. Only she didn't remember there being tulips on the table, nor the orange juice that was definitely not in the fridge. Mum would get so mad at that every time, so she knew someone was in trouble. It's only when she made for the door to the garden that she noticed the cat food in its red plastic bowl. And standing by the fence with a basket of laundry in her arms was a woman with caramel hair knotted loosely into a bun, chatting with the neighbour. It wasn't Mum, and she didn't recognise the neighbour either.

    A knot weighed in her stomach. Swallowing, she pressed against the glass door, unable to move, unable to take her eyes off the woman by the fence, because she was wearing Mum's rose quartz bracelet. And when the woman lifted her hand to laugh, for a second there the little girl thought of Mum.

    And etc... :crazy: if I wrote anymore I'd feel the need to edit... lol
     
  23. peachalulu

    peachalulu Member Reviewer Contributor

    Joined:
    May 20, 2012
    Messages:
    4,620
    Likes Received:
    3,807
    Location:
    occasionally Oz , mainly Canada
    Love it, Mcck!
     
    Oscar Leigh and Mckk like this.
  24. Aled James Taylor

    Aled James Taylor Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2013
    Messages:
    1,008
    Likes Received:
    743
    Location:
    UK
    In springtime, the pixies paint all the leaves green. This makes all the trees look vibrant and new. During summer, the paint fades and the leaves no longer look new. At the end of the summer, the pixies need to repaint the leaves but by that time, they've used up all their green paint, since there are so many green things in summer. They have no alternative but to use all the other colors they have left over, which results in a variety of browns. All the leaves die and fall off the trees because they've been painted the wrong color. The king of the pixies gets so annoyed with his incompetent staff that he orders everything painted white, as a blank-canvas ready for painting the following spring.
     
  25. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    6,541
    Likes Received:
    4,776
    This is lovely!

    Somehow when I read "all the trees look vibrant and new" I was convinced all the tress had been painted pink... like this:

    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice