That Moment...

My friend said she had the best porridge ever the other morning. She then showed me the yoghurt she had stirred into it to achieve that result: butterscotch.

 

No grapefruit?

 

I just don't understand porridge. I feel like you must be Goldie Locks.

 

TMW you really should have read the warning at the start of the book better. Rape scenes --- yes multiple -- are making an otherwise progressively more boring book almost unbearable.

 

TMW... You realize that most of your humans in your fantasy story are white.

Let me go amend that now. I'd like to have diversity in my story, thank you.

TMW...

It's the middle of the blazing summer in the Deep South, you've taken an exceedingly hot shower, put on heavy jeans and now you're wondering why you're dehydrated.

It's because I'm an idiot. *goes to get water*

 

TMW

Spoiler: a post reminds you of a childhood experience.

lol

At age 9 or 10, we went to family counselling and the counsellor took us into this room filled with toys and kid-sized tables and chairs and let us play. I was an energetic little so and so, wanting to fight the counsellor or my brother with the toy swords they had heheh.

Then the counsellor sat us down and said - now you can tell use what's going on and how you feel. We won't tell your step Mum or Dad.

So we told him.

I can still see the daggers in my step Mum's eyes, glaring at me in the car's rear view mirror as she dropped us off at school the next day. Her words were something along the lines of, "Why don't you get hit by a car on the way home?"

*

Now that I think about it, there was a big ass mirror in that room. 2 way perhaps? Maybe they were sitting on the other side? Fuck me that would have been bloody embarrassing for her.

Sheeyit.

*

Years later we were reconciled -- on my 21st birthday -- and I had the opportunity to experience the power of forgiveness.

 

!!

 

@Aaron DC Sorry for the upsetting reminder. It wasn't meant to be a trigger.

 

My sincere apologies, I should have clarified.

I had the most wonderful 21st birthday present when my step Mum and I reconciled. It was a far more powerful experience, and I count her as a long-distance friend now. (Post updated)

 

That moment when you watch Sharknado 3: Oh hell No! and watch Tara Reid push a newborn baby - to which she herself just gave birth - out through a shark vagina that she chainsaw-improvised from within a great white shark right next to another great white shark that Ian Ziering (total shamelust) just used as a low Earth orbit reentry capsule.

All fuq'n bets are off.

 

TMW you must know which book Aaron DC is talking about...

 

Alien Species Intervention: Books 1-3: An Alien Apocalyptic Saga - currently free on Amazon.

 

Turns out the warning was useless after all

 

But it's going to lead me to make my first review, so yeah. You know.

 

So... rape is a metaphor? We're -- figuratively speaking, one hopes -- raping wildlife?

Either way, sounds like a weird book.

 

No. Rape as a means of man forcing himself on someone chained to a table.

 

That book has like three different titles on the cover. What's with that? I see that more and more all the time. Pick a title, folks. One title.

 

Also... this kind of manhandling of me as a reader prior to the read answers to the exact same paradigm that makes Gordon Ramsay tell chefs and servers to fuq off when they try to tell him how to eat the food on the plate.

Just sayin'...

 

that moment when you realise you want to eat someone alive but you need to keep stum...

 

Yeah I started reading it and was like what!? fuck no and "turned" the page.

 

T and I used to have a two-part title for our WIP. It looks amateurish and, like we couldn't make up our minds.

I don't even read disclaimers, so all that would've gone to waste anyway.

 

TMW your cycling club receives level 3 inclusive club accreditation. Seriously. Nothing you can say to me will convince me that this is necessary or worth doing or ... I don't know what. My brain is spazzing out.

People join cycling clubs through social contact, not because they are accredited as being inclusive. And I was involved with said club. It's about as snooty and "goddamn we're the mother flippin best of all" ickiness as the worst of them.

Good grief.

 

TMW you wonder what does this even mean? 'Splain me, Lucy.

 

Don't call me Shirley.

CC = cycling club

 

This is the strongest WTF of my time at the club I can recall:

awards night, and the compere, Mr Mysoginistic is loved despite his raw delivery. My lesbian friend / coaching client won the women's road race. She's come from work where she is a director at PwC, dressed very smartly in suit pants and jacket, white open collar shirt. Her name is called by Mr Mysoginist and as she walks up to collect her trophy, he quips, "Who dressed you?" It wasn't in jest.

I wanted to slap him. Oh look, I still do.