If there were a pill to make me straight, I would not take it

I think it's really the same, in context.
You said you can't imagine changing an integral part of yourself but sexual orientation isn't very exclusive when it comes to the word integral.

We get all these ads about hair product, clothes, lifestyle that ask whether we're showing off who we really are so I think we might be a little in the "that's so unimportant" phase because we see it so often
but for people it can be extremely important to show themselves how they really are and what they like.

Your personal image can be integral to who you are whether it's physical or personality.
However, fitting in and winning, and simply belonging, is also a very important of human life.
The two don't always play nice together.

Imagine having to walk around, convincing people you're not smart just so they don't think less of you.
You might purposefully say dumb things, adopt mannerism to convey it, drink a little to lose some of your wits, or simply avoid any conversation and let people agree amongst themselves even if you know better.

American white picket fence is a prime example of what men and women were expected to be and to achieve.
You either looked the part, or you didn't, and that would entail it's own set of conformity and adaptation.

In any case, a person chooses to deny/change/adapt themselves rather than be themselves because one has consequences while the other has rewards.
And either way, you're forcefully changing yourself to be something you're not.

Gay or straight, everyone goes through it and it can affect your entire life.

Yeah but it's awfully warm to be wearing a trench coat this time of the year...

Yeah, if certain gays can choose to be straight and get married and have kids, the others are just refusing to choose to be straight.
Love that political bullshit

Who said about judging people for taking the pill?
I think many would take the pill in such a situation but I'd be rooting for those who decide to suffer through it.
I think we and they would learn more about human nature through it rather than just taking that part of life away.
And we are naturally curious and self-destructive :3

 

I love this thread. It's nice to know that there are people who are accepting of those who are LGBTQA. These posts have made me so happy and so sad. Happy because they, in a way, make me feel accepted. Sad because they make me think of my community and family. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, they're my family, but.... I think my father would shoot me if I told him I was a part of the LGBT community, and my mother would preach to me for the rest of my life about what evilness and sin the whole thing is. I wish I could tell people. So, I suppose I'll tell a little bit here... if that's okay?

 

I was offered that pill several years ago and my response was "No! I can get hard without it". Alas it turns out I couldn't and there were red faces all around. We are talking about viagra, right?

 

As a straight male, I wouldn't really see the point in taking a "Straight Pill" for obvious reasons.

If someone offered me a pill to make me gay, I'd decline it. For all the same reasons that have already been said. I am who I am and all that. But if there were a pill that would make me bisexual, I would be tempted. Lose nothing and double the number of potential partners out there for me? Sounds nice. The only drawback would be the biphobia which exists in both straight and gay circles.

What I'd like is to live in a world where people don't see the need or reason for a pill to "cure" homosexuality.

 

I've been hesitating to post here for the last few days because I don't think "my kind" are especially welcome in situations like this. And by "my kind" I mean the practicing religious. I just really wanted you guys to know that I've read the thread and I feel a lot of love for all of you. Not the condescending "come-to-Jesus" kind of love, but real, genuine love. I want you to find happiness. I feel pain at all the ways you have to hide or pussyfoot around your own identity because of how people might see it.
I really struggled in high school because of some things that made me different from everyone else. It wasn't my sexual orientation, and in fact I still struggle to identify what it was, but it made the experience terribly lonely. I can't stand the thought of so, so many going through the same thing and worse every day.

I don't think anyone should have to endure bigotry and discrimination because of something deep inside them that they can't change.

Not that long ago, the conversation in religious circles like mine avoided the topic of homosexuality like the word itself was a sin. When it was talked about, homosexuals were thought of as people who had been, somewhere along the way, perverted by promiscuous behavior and parents were warned to keep their little boys away from such people. My grandparents were brought up with that mindset, and even now they are struggling to shed those notions.

Now, at least in my community, the conversation has changed so much. It's now something more like, "Well, we don't know what makes a person gay, except that we know that some people are born feeling that way and others discover it later in life. And it's okay." And instead of fear and caution, they teach kindness and compassion. Those of us in the new generation (well, some of us) understand that you can't "catch" gayness, people who are homosexual haven't chosen to be so, and it doesn't mean a person is going to "hell."

Anyway, I'm not in any way trying to defend religion. Too much evil has been spewed out of the mouth of Christianity towards people who are different. There is no defense for that. I'm just saying that the conversation is changing. And there are those of us who are sympathetic to your cause. And I thank you for your thread because I think conversations like this one need to take place more often.

 

I sometimes feel a little... guilty (? I'm struggling to label the emotion) that I ended up with a man when all my previous relationships, and all my crushes-that-never-made-it, were with women. I feel that in a way I took the straight pill, since we're in a monogamous marriage and unless we break up I won't be with a woman again. I still speak out if I see homophobia but I feel a bit like an imposter talking about LGBT issues when I have all the straight privilege.

I have no idea what point I'm trying to make. Just needed to share that.

 

Thank you.

In my own defense as a Christian, I believe that the Biblical word for "Christian" hate-mongers is "Pharisee," not "Disciple."

Islam teaches that there should be no compulsion in religion because only God can decide what religion somebody will believe in his/her life.
Christianity teaches that good people who do not belong to the correct religion are better than evil people who do.
Judaism teaches that it's a crime for two people to agree on anything important

I'm a 3+√(-27) on the Kinsey scale, you being a 5.5 is not the craziest thing in the world

 

It's not like you dismissed your own desires and sexuality.
You found someone to be happy with and they happen to be the opposite gender.
Nothing wrong with that.

Sexuality is a little too complicated for people to plainly label themselves straight or gay.
And in the end, a lot of it depends on love, regardless of sexual intimacy and gender.

And honestly, having been part of the gay world (having been in same-sex relationships) gives you a better notion of how it feels and how it truly is compared to those who never even bother to ask about it.

So, be happy, since I assume you did what made you happy.

 

It is what it is. I've heard some lesbians talk bad about people like you, but we're stuck with at least most of our orientation, and anyone who wants to make it all about allegiance is missing the point.

 

As a transhumanist, I'd love to have the option to control my genetics. I'd take the straight pill if I were lgbt. If there were an asexual pill, I'd take it regardless of orientation if I weren't ace already. Sexuality is just a distraction from the greater things in life.

 

It is madness to me that a pill would even be considered under any circumstance. So even considering the idea or using it as a topic of debate does not make sense to me. It's the same as someone posting, If I was offered a pill to change my sex I wouldn't. So my reaction to this post was Huh? What?

I'm as straight as a stick but I can easily appreciate why women love women. I mean, I love women, and I especially love women who love women. It's really not that far a stretch in imagination to understand and appreciate women who really love women. The same goes for men. I love men and I am sure the reasons I love them is the same for gay men. I do feel sad that people can't just say what they feel and not feel judged because they are gay. But that is life. Women say things about women that men would never get away with. I say things about Asians that my husband would never be able to say flippantly because he is not Chinese. I wouldn't feel hurt about it. Just pretend your filter's broken and say whatever you want. I do it all the time. People just laugh or roll their eyes at me, and yes, I get the occasional horrified look.

In life, I have found gay work colleagues to be so much fun . Maybe they have had their whole life to work hard and come to terms with who they are, but I really just adore them. In my conversation with the last gentleman a couple of weeks ago, I complained to him... I wish those religious folks would stop coming to my door (I am sorry if you are one of those) since I never know what the say to them, and I end up standing there trying to be polite for ages.

His response.... Oh just put a rainbow sticker on your door. hehe

I don't have gay friends in my personal life. Not because I avoid them. Maybe they feel the repressed vibe coming from me? But really, I only have a few people I truly call friends.

This is where online interactions help me.

I recently have had huge eye openers on gay women from interacting with them. They are gorgeous. I have one young lady actively pursuing me to write with her. I keep commenting to hubby about how alluring she is and really, we flirt and look after each other. There's a lot of love shared on either side. I'm also impressed by her level of emotional depth, and maybe that comes from her having to explore who she is and take on so many more things because of her sexuality.

I can honestly say I would not be unhappy if I woke up changed that way. But there is no way I'd consider a pill. I am just happy to be me and I am extremely happy to keep enjoying the male form, thank you very much. I don't feel the need to defend against taking some demented miracle pill and I'm not sure why gays would either.

But I guess that is the point.

Anyway, I ramble because I find the whole topic a little outrageous.

 

Out of all the comments here, I enjoyed this the most. It's not ideal but it felt honest. I never knew women can feel like this and I certainly didn't know that lesbians spoke badly about people with this kind of dilemma. I agree strongly with the comment that it is nothing about allegiance, but thank you for sharing anyway.

 

Linny, you're [terrible sp] post is so eloquent, honest and unrestrained.

There is a political element entirely lacking from your observations, though write that way forever, you'll turn heads and pages

 

Thanks, it means a lot that you say so. Yes, I'll never get that much better at political awareness and it is often something that is commented on at work, and usually in an exasperated tone. They've tried giving me the gag order but insist I attend meetings. I'm not sure why they are surprised I still speak up anyway... lol

One of the real positives of this forum for me has been increasing my awareness of gay issues.

 

Whaaaaaaa? I just noticed the edit. I'm terrible now?! I am that too. hehe

 

I don't mean to be rude but you're not explaining anything to me. I find the concept, metaphor or anything to that points at such an idea to be incomprehensible. As many have said, we are who we are. That was my point, so you don't need to take my post literally either.

 

Wo, wo, wo, you've been in relationships with women? So you're bi, I guess?

 

Well, the idea behind the title is that if you could be straight and have it easier (Here, I'm mostly talking to the young) it wouldn't be an incomprehensible choice.
Why go through all the problems that come with being gay when you could just be straight? Like, sure, gay people can end up wonderful people. But so can straight with so fewer issues.
I would never recommend to anyone to change who they are but the desire to change is something anyone who went through being growing gay would understand.

 

Eh, I think the issue with the labels thing isn't that there's something wrong with labeling it. You're human, American, left-wing, whatever, they're labels. Your family is a label. Your first name is a label. Vegetable is a label for vegetables. The issues is confusion around how broad they are. People feel like the labels are bad because they for some reason think the labels have to mean 100% even though they themselves say no-one is 100%. So why can't we be happy with a non 100% label? And a label that doesn't have to mean everyone under it is exactly the same sexually, they only share identifying characteristics? This is common-sense to me.

 

Sleep deprived, please ignore

 

Um, my problem isn't labels. I'm expressly in defense of labels. I'm saying the argument used to justify removing the labels in the LGBT spectrum are silly and kind of hypocritical. And if people just understood set theory, and noticed how they can already use labels in the way they think they can't, they'd have no problem.

 

Sleep deprived, please ignore

 

Also not what I was talking about I'm afraid. I'm talking about the idea that calling ourselves "straight" or "gay" is "simplifying" or that it demands total conformity in symtoms. That we shouldn't label ourselves. Rather than the idea that as set theory says, a label is a word that merely stands in for the definition, and the definition can be as complicated as you like. And a label groups things by shared characteristics, not by saying that area is exactly the same for them. It's just similar enough.

 

Well, I certainly cannot relate to gayness and can only draw on myself growing up with racism. We had people refuse us business, property damage, unfair treatment in schools, from friends, exclusion from social activities, being reminded we were excluded too, and we once had the humiliation of our home gates being chained as a prank amongst other cruel things. At no point in my childhood, no matter how much I wished for acceptance and not get it, did I ever consider any metaphoric pill/ quick fix solution. I have always wanted to be accepted for me, as I am. And if not, then fuck them all.

Maybe that's why I'm such a difficult adult? Because it still hurts me on some level. I can't relate that to be the same as homosexuality, I wouldn't know. But we're all human, so I would hope on some level it's relatable.

I just don't like the promotion of the quick fix idea...as if there is something wrong when there isn't. And if I am talking to the young, that would not be the language I would use. I'd treat it as something as natural as breathing, that can never be or would require a 'fix' to make things easier.

I'm sure if I put up a post that went along the lines of 'If there were a pill to make me causcasian, I would not take it', people would think I have lost all my marbles...including myself.

I'm not trying to be dismissive. All I can really say is, the idea behind what you said didn't sit well with me.

I will shut up now.