So my main character is an immortal being and a super villain he's obsessed with his arch nemesis and she has no idea why. His obsession is based on that she in a past life used and manipulated him by pretending to love him so he's torn between wanting her in a romantic sense and wanting to kill her a second time. Which is why by day he's her boyfriend and by night he's her worst enemy. He doesn't even understand why he's unnable to decide between his feelings. As her boyfriend she knows him as this classic white knight who is just always perfect and charming but his villain persona is a Christian Grey womanizer bad boy who runs a chain of fetish clubs and is the king of porn which is a front for his evil shadow organization. Literally everything she stands against he stands for. My only problem is I'm afraid he wont be well received because he's obsessive, controlling, violent(not with her but others), and he makes Christian Grey look like a choir boy. My only problem is I don't know how to make the romance genuine because he's so twisted and so much of a stalker that it may be impossible.
A lot of people idolise the abusive psychopath Christian Grey as a romantic hero. Your characters' relationship is obviously unhealthy but so what? Write it and let your readers make up their own minds. They don't have to find it romantic to enjoy the story.
Do you want to sell it as a Romance, or just as a novel that includes a romantic subplot? If the first... I wouldn't read it, but there are a lot of people who love damaged, abusive romance heroes. (Just be sure to give him good abs and maybe a sexy tattoo) If the second? No problem, I'd say!
Easy- He's not in love with her, he's in love with controlling her. Just throw in some deep theme's for how he resented how she controlled him in the past life, and its almost a revenge type love. Reminds me of my last relationship.
It sounds like your character is ultra powerful. Perhaps give him a small vulnerable trait that the main character can exploit or can be used as wish-fulfillment. Good luck~
It's the second while his romance and history with her is important it's not central to the story. I just don't want him to be stale but at the same time I don't want him to be so over the top with his personality. That's what I'm thinking about doing. She's deffinately connected to him in a way that makes him weaker. I think after looking over his character that Chained is right.
I'm going to give you some very honest, kinda brutal advice. Don't read any further if you don't want to hear me yap. The romance is not genuine, and it will never be. He's not the real him around her, he's not who he says he is. If she finds out, she will be confused, angry, and hurt. She might even feel betrayed. If you try to sell this as genuine, you will be absolutely gutted as an author. I can't tell you how many people I've seen abusing the author of Fifty Shades for trying to champion such an unhealthy relationship. And honestly? If I read a character like this I would be praying for him to get knocked off on the next page. Like Chained said, give him an Achilles Heel, or three, or five. Don't make him a Superman clone with his cursory kryptonite. But, it sounds like you're on the fast track to moving away from the archetype, so that's good. All this being said, it's your choice in the end.
I can honestly say, as someone who's never read 50 Shades and who never plans to? I'd be more than damn happy to be "gutted" the way EL James has been gutted. Millions upon millions of people loving my book? Gut me!
You're asking for the entire internet to hate and abuse you? Might wan't to rethink reading that book. You might like it.
The entire internet isn't unanimous about any damn thing. And EL James can probably buy the internet. If you're afraid of what anonymous loud-mouths think of your writing? Don't publish. Someone's always going to hate something.
The internet may not be unanimous, but there's definitely a majority rule out there. For instance; -All love stories are a better love story than Twilight -Nickel Back is less a band and more an audio torture device -Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. In all honesty I kid, i'm in the same boat as you. My book didn't get enough attention for anyone to even dislike it. I just thought it was funny someone who hated the idea of 50 Shades was begging, "gut me!" and took the shot at a joke. Obviously it didn't hit the mark.
Yes she reincarnates and she's no delicate flower when he first met her she pretended to love him and then she betrayed him by trying to kill him so she could be with her real boyfriend. The thing about her is she even before and after she remembers her past lives is prone to picking abusive partners and even prone to being abusive in some degree herself. Neither one really has any moral high ground and my main character even acknowledges his faults while being quick to point out how he's just one in a long line (literally he's far from the worst man she's ever been with) this is the best example I can think of to describe their relationship.
To be fair this thought occurred to me as well, why bother caring about the heat as long as you get money and fame? Or, rather, infamy. But I wouldn't care to have her legacy, she might be remembered as the author of one of the most poorly written trilogies in modern times. However, this is just coming from a guy who harbors deep, strong feelings against Fifty Shades, so I'm kinda biased.
I hate 50 Shades, too. But only because I thought Christian should have been willing to take the sort of ass-whipping he so enjoyed doling out. Had I written the story, sweet little Anna would have turned into a sadist who ended up turning the tables on that freak. The way it was written though, it just makes me want to jump out the window of a high rise building.
Well as nice as it is to see all the contempt for a book series I will not even give the dignity of naming (because calling shit by any other name won't make it a bloody rose). And now to randomly bust out another my epic shorts loosely based upon the topic at hand. (Mainly due to the fact that I have hit a road block with a WIP but, need to keep my writing skills sharp) Here I go.... It was in moments like these that she knew something was not quite right about the man sitting across the table from her, as they gazed at each other over a glass of wine. He seemed so familiar and yet she felt she hardly knew this man at all. The candle light flickered, as she tried to pin down what about him made her feel so strange. On the one hand he was a complete gentleman to her, and she liked that. But was he too perfect, she mulled taking a sip of wine. He simply sat there admiring her in her graceful alluring ways, wondering if he should tell her the secret he withheld since the beginning of their relationship. The romantic evening wore thick in the air, along with the long stare at one another. To him she seemed to have the look of concentration on her face, and this caused him an air of anxiety. Taking a generous mouthful of the burgundy wine, savoring the rich bouquet to distract from her expression. He knew he could not keep up this facade forever, he knew that eventually she would find the truth about him. Later that evening in the dim lighting of the bedroom with the four post bed they had shared on many occasions, she stood over him as he was bound to the extravagant pillars. He struggled for a bit testing the strength of his bonds, but they held fast and unyielding. She did not speak, and she did not have to with the look in her eyes. And in that look he knew his ruse was over, and came crashing down upon their relationship like a house of cards. How foolish he had been to think that he could play both villain and suitor, to his longtime adversary. Unsure of what plans she had in store for him, now that he was in a highly vulnerable state. Then in the passing moments the lighting only magnified the cruel smile on her deep crimson lips, and the betrayal burned in her eyes. Under normal pretense he would not have accepted such a defeat and capture, but now it did not matter any more. Resigned to his fate, she leaned down to his ear. Her warm breath in his ear, she told him one thing preceding the remainder of the evening. "You have played the part so well and deceived me greatly, and tonight I shall play the part of the devil." That was fun, I think you can have a blast with a premise like the one you are going for @TheDarkWriter . Just don't go all E L James (E L Fudge) on us and I think you can knock a few socks off. Good luck, and I wouldn't mind taking a gander at it either.
Eh... I saw the movie. I was hoping I'd learn something new to throw into my sexy-time repertoire. NOPE! It was actually rather vanilla and poorly executed. I suppose it could be considered a "raunchy" novel - if one lives in Utah or somewhere in Pennsylvania without electricity.
He's immortal but she isn't. That might give him anxiety that manifests in certain ways, like anger, despair or desperation. Why would he stay with her? Maybe he is drawn to her relative innocence, but at the same time he needs a certain level of perversion to feel satisfied. Maybe he hates himself for falling in love with a human. Maybe he resents her weak mortality. It might help if you created a situation that made him NEED to be with her. Maybe being with her changes, enhances or weakens him. Maybe she is somehow vital to him and falling in love was never part of the plan, or maybe their relationship is a threat to others that would rather see them dead. Make it work!
