TMW you imagine Donkey Kong and his friends leading Congress. “Our first edict will be to ban crocodiles from this land! Diddy Kong, you have the floor!” “They steal our bananas! We need to build a wall around them!” “Groovy idea, Diddy. We'll put the amendment to vote.”
TMW you're playing around with the 'Say It' app, which is a text-to-speech app. You type in random fantasy names only to find you've gotten a liking to them. Huh...
TMW you stop buying that expensive food thing your partner likes and start buying one he doesn't like because your partner forgets that maybe you also want some of that food thing you buy.
TMW the expensive food spoils in the fridge because the one who purchased it forgot to tell the other one it was a gift, and both of you just stare at it waiting for the other one to finally eat it. We've got somewhat different schedules, so there's a lot of miscommunication.
That moment when you look down at your feet and realise that your slippers look like they've been through a blender and you really need to get some new ones. That moment when you buy new slippers, but the idiot at the shop forgot to remove the security tag. That moment when you've had your new slippers for two hours and one of them already has a hole in it (because you were too knackered to walk back into town to get the security tag removed and had to cut it off with a craft knife). Fail.
TMW you sit in a lecture and your lecturer decides to show a video they made, and sits down to watch it with you.
^ Shuffle up to them and rub their leg. >:] Observe and record. OK, seriously don't. TMW you feel a little mischevious.
That moment when you finish the second of four books you checked out of the library last week, and it ends with practically the same line as the first one you read.
Wow. And the alarm didn't go off at the door? You mean they deactivated that big honking thing at the register but didn't remove it? Wow again. They ought to at least split the cost of a new pair for you.
Unless the concept of the one that took first is so brilliant that . . . No, it sounds like somebody had connections. I know it doesn't help, but from the experience of a misspent life, that's how it sounds to me. Anyway, buy up a few of those mags for the cover. That's good for your portfolio, anyway. And who's teaching those illustrator lessons? Maybe get in there, show him/her your stuff, and make an ally of him/her. That's if they'd make for a good business connection. But anyway, aaaauuugggghhhh!!!!
TMW you have a horrible dream where two sock/cloth puppet siblings who look like they came from Tim Burton's imagination are having dinner, but the sister starts to slowly eat the brother's head off while all he does is sit and whimper. TMW you have the dawning realization that something like this could actually exist somewhere in the deepest, darkest corner of the internet in the form of a shock video.
Tmw I think someone might be trying to tell me something, but then I think, nah cause what they're saying makes no sense whatsoever. Tmw I think someone's trying to threaten me and I laugh.
TMW you realize you can write stories in the built-in notebook app on your phone. Am I really this unobservant???
Third wave feminism and the emasculation of the modern male? Or maybe it's about the general election?
Or maybe my brain is just one sick puppy that gives me disturbing images and nightmares because it can?
Tmw I'm impressed & thankful for the way one of my favorite editors handled a situation. I was completely at a loss! I'm ok now.
TMW you are cut off by not one, but THREE asshole drivers. TMW you wish for either them or their loved ones suffer a very debilitating, excruciatingly painful disease or condition of which there is no cure, and treatments merely alleviates the pain slightly, and either their loved ones or they must watch in hopeless despair knowing there's not a damn thing they can do about it. And you're there videotaping the whole thing. TMW you realize you sound slightly psychotic now...but you're too pissed off to care.
TMW ... I know exactly how this anger and frustration feels. You're so angry and then you feel guilty because you're angry. It's awful, to be honest. For me, I know what the answer is. I just don't do what I need to do.
TMW you accidentally go from 0 to first draft in 2 hours. TMW you have to explain to your baby sister - not niece/daughter, sister – what a videotape is.