I actually have no idea what its like to have a period. I know its supposed to be unpleasant and they excrete some amount of blood when it happens, other than that I don't know any details. Besides, I would never have thought it was really that debilitating anyway since, obviously, girls in high school don't stay home once a month for their period. They still attend gym class without any absences. They give no external sign of what's going on, even though legend says they become more irritable around that time (which I don't recall ever seeing, though it would make logical sense with how unpleasant its supposed to be). I haven't really had a social life since graduating, if that's not apparent.
The iritability is to do with hormones , not the unpleasant experience itself. For a woman in an action book it might be reasonable to assume that she was somehow regulating her period with pills etc - although that said Krysty in the Deathlands books is written as having periods from time to time ... iirc she is a mutant who draws on the power of the earth mother to give her explosive strength at times of crisis and her ability to do this is tied up with her cycle.
In modern day first world, it's not likely to be a Thing unless there's a reason for it to be a Thing. Probably the same in other situations where the person has access to their usual resources and practices, whatever they are.
I think it may have changed a lot since my day—which began in the early 1960s. I don't know what 'era' you are writing about. The worst thing about having a period for many women is the menstrual cramps you often get. They can either be 'front cramps' which are felt in the lower abdomen, or 'back cramps' which are felt in the small of the back. Both are really horrible, and can leave you feeling faint, feeling sick, etc. These usually happen the first day, but for some unfortunates, it can go on for days. I am here to tell you, these can be very debilitating. The only thing that helped me when I was a teenager and a young woman was some form of heat ...heating pad or hot water bottle. Obviously you couldn't do this and still attend school. People who really suffered could take some pretty strong painkilling preparations which left them woozy and not really fit for work of any kind. (I believe strong drink might also have helped, but it's not a remedy I ever tried.) However, since the availablility of ibuprofen (Advil in the USA, Neurofen here in the UK) that all changed dramatically. At least for me. Two of those pills taken early on really killed the cramps, which usually didn't return that cycle. And there were no other side effects that mattered. When I was a teenager in the 60s, the only sanitary protection were large pads (Kotex was the main brand where I lived) with ends that you pinned to a special elastic belt—called a 'sanitary belt.' These pads were uncomfortable to wear, could get twisted around, often leaked, etc. (Not to mention VERY embarrassing to buy, because unless you wanted to pay a fortune for smaller boxes, they came in huge blue boxes. By huge, I mean huge. A couple of feet long by around a foot wide. It was impossible to sneak into a shop and buy them and sneak out again.) Girls were usually excused from gym class during the first day or two of their periods (and certainly from swimming for the duration)—no questions asked. However, at the end of the 60s and 70s came the tampon. Again, this was a revolutionary product, which meant you could more or less carry on with your normal activities (if you weren't suffering cramps) and while they occasionally leaked, they were much more discreet to carry, so it was easy to keep changing them during the day. These were a BIG DEAL, I can assure you. Very liberating. Now, in addition to tampons, there are serious, not so serious and light pantyliners instead of the huge pads and belts. These must be much more comfortable to wear, although I'm not really familiar with them. Periods are major hassle, believe me. I didn't realise just how much hassle until I started menopause and they finally stopped. Wheee!
Well, I'm not saying that it has to be in there, but if it could add something to the story then why not? In the book I was talking about, the MC got her period for the first time because she was living in a Matrix-esque society where everyone was in a deep sleep and their normal bodily functions were repressed by drugs. She was thrown into the real world and didn't know what the hell was going on when she got her period, thinking that she was dying. Her male companion had to explain what it was to her. In this way it was used as a plot device. Especially for someone who has difficulty relating to females, it might be good to look into stuff like that instead of pretending it doesn't exist, even if you don't mention it in the book. It could put you into a female mindset, keep you from thinking of her as a guy. Research is key, so they say! And yes, women do talk about it. Especially for a fifteen year old it's something that's new and they want to know how their friends are handling it, who's gotten their period, who hasn't. I can see why guys wouldn't know a clue about it, though, because we never tell them. They always get so squeamish . I remember once we tried telling our guy friend about our periods and he covered his ears and ran away. Yeah, I agree. Although it may not come up in books, that doesn't mean it doesn't come up all the time in real life. As well, if you're supposed to know your main character so well, why shouldn't you know about her period? Even if you don't mention it in the book it could help with characterization, just like you learn a bunch of other irrelevant things about your character to know them better.
It's different for everyone. Some people only get it every two months, for a few days, with no cramps. I've heard of some people (anemic women) who have to be hospitalized because they are losing so much blood (no, I'm serious, although that's pretty rare). For me I have really bad cramps the first day in which, even if I take an ibuprofen, I still have to spend a good six hours in bed with a hot water bottle. Lots of deep breathing helps too. I've also had to go home from school due to cramps, same with my sister, and same with my mom. It's genetic in that way. Although I agree that many women don't show irritability. That part is pretty exaggerated. I think it would be difficult to notice it from an outside point of view, though. Plus, since the invention of the tampon and ibuprofen women have ways to deal with it so they can still do normal things like go to gym class and swim. I'm not sure how the OP's world is, though, whether or not they have these things or if (due to lack of resources) they are absent.
they do - birth control pills will can be used to alter the menstrual cycle or arrest it all together though of course there are side effects
Whoa, seriously? I always heard that they didn't stop them, they just made your cramps less painful. I should get on that...
Talk to your doctor - there are several different sorts of BC pills and i'm not an expert some info here http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/birth-control/in-depth/birth-control-pill/art-20045136
My doctor refused to prescribe the type that bypass the period, even for a few cycles. Hmph. (And I was too obedient to realize that I didn't have to take the sugar pills.)
I graduated high school in 2005. So yeah, I guess I would be 'young' by your standards, though I certainly don't see myself as young now. And honestly, this talk about periods really just deters me from writing female characters, since there's obviously dozens of things that I'm missing that have an impact on their functioning. Like I've said before, I've never had a girlfriend. I obviously don't have a wife living in the house with me (it seems that would be a huge convenience for a male writer trying to write a female character), and really the only female I've had any extensive interaction with is my own middle-aged mother.
If your characters have normal at-home resources, you can totally ignore periods--similar to the way that you could ignore the fact that people occasionally catch colds. Edited to add: "at-home resources" would pretty much mean plumbing and access to a drugstore or grocery store or any other way to access, and later dispose of, absorbent material.
I wasn't saying that you had to WRITE about periods, I'm just saying that research on it might make you better understand the female experience. I think in order to write a realistic female character, you have to understand what it is like to be female. It's the same for a woman writing about men. She has to understand the differences in the male experience in order to write him accurately, otherwise it will seem contrived.
On the whole if your experience with women is as limited as you say you are probably best not writing female characters - at least without a lot of research
"misconceptions about women" would be a good place to start. An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards means that you can find at least as much bad information as you can find good, but the people who talk about "misconceptions" are the people who've looked at both sets of information to see which is the most accurate.
Let's not forget that a lot of "research" can be done in a pretty enjoyable way - by reading books written by women!
Actually probably talking to some women would be a good place to start - I'm not saying pick them up ,or sleep with them , but just you know chatting to them online or in person and finding out what a representative sample of them are like . Hell there's a fair few women on this forum , so you can get some idea by chatting to them first.
... I'd recommend Tess Gerritsen, Karin Slaughter, and Patricia Cornwell if you like murder mysteries
Margaret Atwood, Ursula LeGuin, Mercedes Lackey, Marion Zimmer Bradley if you like SFF. Margaret Atwood, Hilary Mantel, Georgette Heyer if you like historicals. Margaret Atwood, Toni Morrison, Barbara Kingsolver if you like literary. George Eliot, Jane Austen, Edith Wharton if you like classics... and give her a few years and Margaret Atwood can fit in here, too!
I've only read the Handmaids tale which i found well written but very uncomfortable - not the sort of thing i'd read for fun (and yes I know its supposed to be uncomfortable- anyone who doesn't find the idea of societally acceptable rape and slavery uncomfortable has issues) that kind of put me ff Atwood so i wondered what else by her you would recomend
I'm honestly as much a fan of her as a cultural figure as an author - I mean, I like her writing, but I'm not as obsessed with it as my post might suggest! But... The Blind Assassin is pretty excellent (won the Booker Prize), or for a hell of a lot of women characters maybe The Penelopiad. Alias Grace is a bit less... heavy? A bit less doctrine-driven? Might be a good one to try.
Ironically, I was leaning towards having a female antagonist in my book. Mostly because she was the one I saw as having the most potential when I looked at my list (most of the villains are male, but they're only really good for like a one-off adventure). If you want to know what she's like, she's a super-villain that makes a living by producing illegal weaponry and equipment for super-villains and gangs. She wears a suit of power-armor to protect herself, though I'm not sure yet if she makes her deliveries in person or not. She majored in robotics and programming in college, but was unable to find work, which resulted in her producing essentially military equipment for local gangs, eventually progressing to selling to major super-villains. The plot focuses around the protagonist's attempt to track her down and put an end to the distribution of super-science weapons on the street. As for her appearance, outside of her armor I envision her just wearing jeans and a white tank-top (like what a male wears when he works, not the tight kind you often see on females, she's practical and logical). She also keeps her hair trimmed short and for some reason I always envision her wearing work goggles all the time. Would that really be a bad character, especially considering that she doesn't even make an appearance until the end? The plot itself actually is more about exploring what happens when superheroes compete over a bounty.
For mysteries, Dorothy Sayers, Georgette Heyer again, Ruth Rendell, Laurie R. King...really, I could go on indefinitely.
That depends: is she going to be a recurring villain in your sequels? (Spoiler alert, the answer should be yes )