How to write good dialogue

Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by ObsidianVale, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. Danny1980

    Danny1980 New Member

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    Dear ChickenFreak

    Thanks for sharing concepts of writing with me. I am thinking in use past tense on the overall narrative tense of the novel.

    But, in that case, will be correct to use:

    "I will pick three volunteers. You each come forward, I will give you a different painting, by a different artist. Take a few minutes to study it, and then describe it and tell us how it made you feel. So who wants to come forward? Raise your hands," she said.

    I am asking that again, because the verbs are not in past tense in that dialogue, therefore I want to ask if it works, thinking on the past tense on the overall narrative of tense of the novel.

    Also, I would like to ask, if it using present tense to relate events will work in the novel

    For example:

    Rebecca walks down the hallway towards the teacher's room. Suddenly she meets her colleague Jimmy.

    Thanks for your help and time!
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Your "Rebecca walks..." example is narrative in the present tense. If it is in a novel, then the novel is probably in present tense.

    That doesn't mean that there can't be sentences that are in another tense, but the novel, overall, is in present tense.

    Example:

    Rebecca walks down the hallway toward the teacher's room. Suddenly she meets her colleague Jimmy. She says, "I just had the greatest shepherd's pie at the cafeteria. That new chef is great. He's really improving the food. They're going to serve chili tomorrow."

    Little does Rebecca know that tomorrow, the food at the cafeteria will be the last thing on her mind.

    The above example has narrative in present tense:

    Rebecca walks down the hallway toward the teacher's room. Suddenly she meets her colleague Jimmy. She says,

    And dialogue in past tense:

    "I just had the greatest shepherd's pie at the cafeteria.

    And more dialogue in present tense:

    That new chef is great.

    And more dialogue in present continuous tense:

    He's really improving the food.

    And more dialogue in future tense:

    They're going to serve chili tomorrow."

    And narrative in present tense:

    Little does Rebecca know that

    And narrative in future tense:

    tomorrow, the food at the cafeteria will be the last thing on her mind.

    So, the narrative tense of the novel doesn't mean that the novel can only include that tense. It means that the main action of that novel uses that tense, and that other NARRATIVE tenses relate to that tense.

    Dialogue--the actual words, that is, rather than the tags--will generally be exactly the same whether the narrative of the tense of the novel is past or present, because people say the words that people say; the characters don't know the narrative tense of the novel that they're in.
     
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  3. Danny1980

    Danny1980 New Member

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    Dear ChickenFreak:

    Thanks for helping me to understand the concepts of how to structure a novel. I understand the concepts and examples that you give to me.

    I will review the concepts to continue working in (my attempt) of first book.

    Sincerily

    Danny
     
  4. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    I remember reading once that a writer shouldn't rely too much on dialogue for telling a story. Because of this the technique has always been something that plays on my mind whenever I use it to get information across.

    But how do we know when to use it and when to use narrative? If, for example, I wanted to give a little back story or history to a character, what dictates whether I do this through dialogue or narrative?

    I find it infinitely easier to do this through dialogue, but for this very reason I often force myself to do it through the narrative where I'm less comfortable.

    So, what's the rule of thumb? When is it okay to give back story through dialogue?

    Is it fair to say it's acceptable only if such a conversation would take place in the real world?
     
  5. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    When the characters stop to tell us stories about their world that would never be conversations that would naturally occur, that's a kind of authorial intrusion. Even though Krag the Mighty might technically be the charecter talking, it's not really his conversation anymore. It's yours, the writer. It's you using the character as a mouthpiece to infodump through dialogue.

    My example is greatly exaggerated, obviously, for sake of making the point. ;)
     
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  6. thirdwind

    thirdwind Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    Why not? I think that's bad advice. There are many examples of works that are mostly dialogue.

    How much does the narrator know about the character? Does the narrator know the backstory of every character? Or does it have to be revealed to the reader through dialogue?
     
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  7. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Quite a lot, for it is he. I write in first-person.

    I'm quietly confident that in the instance which prompted this thread the dialogue is not only justified but probably preferable, because I can accentuate the MC's feeling and emotions through beats.

    Being in first-person I suppose you could argue the entire thing is one long dialogue, but I do find myself stopping to ask if I'm using dialogue because I find it so much easier than exposition.
     
  8. thirdwind

    thirdwind Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    I guess the next thing you should consider is whether the information the narrator is sharing is important for another character to know. If yes, then dialogue is a good way to share that information.
     
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  9. Elven Candy

    Elven Candy Pay no attention to the foot in my mouth Contributor

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    I always just write my stories the way that comes naturally, without worrying about dialogue vs. narrative. If it's natural for you to tell a story with a lot of dialogue, then write your story with a lot of dialogue. Different writing styles are part of what makes reading so interesting.

    Just try to avoid the issues Wreybies pointed out.
     
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  10. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    I agree that the dialogue needs to be something the characters would actually say, or else it feels really awkward and exposition-y.

    Other than that, I think this is kind of related to the show-vs-tell balance. If something's really important and you want to show character reactions and whatever, then dialogue's the way to go. If it's not that important/impactful, slap it into the narrative and get the show on the road!
     
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  11. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    IMO, it's fine to use dialogue to get information to the reader, but the fact that you're doing so shouldn't be obvious to the reader.

    Mary asked, "They want how much?"
    Jane grimaced. "Sixty-three hundred. Just for the transmission."
    "Glurgh. Wish I could help."
    "Mom offered to pay."
    "Whoah. Did you drug her?"
    "And to get that body work done, too."
    "What's she want from you?"
    "Andy got another DUI. She wouldn't want me driving her son around in a piece of junk."
    "You're going to chauffeur Andy?"
    "Hell, no. But I was thinking, does Mom have to know that?"
    "Fantasy."
    "Oh, shut up."

    A few bits like the above, tied to the plot (the reader should feel as if he's reading about the problem solving around the car) and you'll know all about Jane's relationship with her mother and brother, without any obvious, "As you know, Mary, my controlling mother has always favored my younger brother, Andy, over me..."
     
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  12. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    I think that if he's avoiding thinking about it, it's reasonable for it to not come up. But that means that he would resist it coming up in conversation, too.

    "Jane!"

    I looked up. It was a moment before I recognized her. "Mary! How long has your hair been pink?"

    "Fuschia. It's called fuschia. Since the last color went horribly wrong. I had it all taken off and started afresh. So how'd it go with your mom?"

    "Yeah, I wondered about the buzz cut. You eating?"

    "Ate. Wish I'd seen you--I really wanted to know about the big confrontation with your mom. Knock down drag out or just icy stares?"

    I pushed the menu toward her. "Have some dirty fries, anyway."

    "Jane?"

    "Or the chicken fried corn. Hard to tell if you're supposed to eat it with your hands or a fork. I went with hands. Mom would be horrif..."

    "Jane?"

    Dammit.

    "Jane?"

    "No meeting. Mom let Andy do the driving, to 'show her faith' in him."

    "Oh, God, another DUI?"

    "Yep. And vehicular homicide this time. Or some such thing. Not sure what they call it when your driving kills someone in your own car."

    "Wait. What?"

    I got up. What kind of hostess would let Mary just sit there, foodless? Mom would be would have been horrified. "I'm going to get you some of those dirty fries. Be right back."
     
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  13. hedda

    hedda New Member

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    I'm currently working on a story and I just wrote a (short) chapter that consists mostly of conversation between my characters. Is continuous dialog annoying? Should I have done something else?

    Just curious...
     
  14. Infel

    Infel Contributor Contributor

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    Dialogue is my favorite thing to read in a story. I'll often times skip chunks worth of text just to get back to the dialogue. You can do a LOT with it, and character interactions are more interesting to me than characters interacting with the environment.

    That's my take on it!
     
  15. hedda

    hedda New Member

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    I feel the same way! However, as a writer, I was wondering if it'd be annoying for my readers. Like you, I skip the majority of the text and I feel the dialog tells the story all on it's own. But there is always that one person who ruins it for everyone and complains. LOL. Maybe I should've started a poll on this topic?
     
  16. Infel

    Infel Contributor Contributor

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    I think the most important thing here is to choose your audience. Maybe people who don't like dialogue heavy text won't like your work. But people who DO like dialogue heavy text WILL like that part of your work.

    When it boils down to it, you're going to have to choose a niche anyway. May as well be the one you enjoy, too!
     
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  17. izzybot

    izzybot (unspecified) Contributor

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    Personally, I'm not into 'talking heads' type dialogue where there's no indication of what the characters are doing or what else is going on while they're talking - ie, they're nothing but heads having a conversation. Part of it, to be fair, is that I love writing dialog too so I end up falling back on that kind of thing when I'm tired or not really feeling what I'm writing, and I'm super self-critical. Another part of it, though, is that it's hard for me to picture people just talking. I don't believe I've ever in my life had a conversation where someone wasn't talking with their hands or gesturing, fidgeting, altering their expressions, etc., and when I read I want that information. Sure, some of it can be inferred from the dialog itself ...
    (Person 2 is obviously excited, I might picture that they're waving their hands emphatically, their eyes have widened, maybe they're grinning.)

    I just prefer to read:
    Especially for cases when the dialog doesn't infer tone so much, actions can really help to clarify the situation. If you just transcribed the words of a real conversation, a lot of nuance would likely be lost since we communicate non-verbally to such a large degree. I find that bare dialog can come across as not very genuine-sounding because of that.

    But, that's just my personal preference and I %100 agree with @Infel that you should write the kind of thing you'd want to read. I can outline the reasons for liking what I like, but it doesn't override what you and others like!
     
  18. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    The most important thing to remember, whether you love lots of dialogue or not, is that dialogue moves the story along quickly. This is not always a Good Thing. Why? Because it's the equivalent of taking a short ride in a speeding car. You'll get there a lot faster in the car than you will by walking, but you won't remember much about the journey. If you walk, you'll see a lot more and remember a lot more.

    The most readable and memorable books are deliberately paced, so that there are slow spots, fast spots, and spots where the reader needs to get a picture in their heads of what's going on. Just dialogue? It really doesn't work very well. It's exhausting to read after a page or so, and a reader won't retain much information. And without the story 'beats' that @izzybot is talking about here, there won't be much information to retain anyway.

    As @Infel suggests, it's sometimes good to just have characters interacting with each other, rather than their environment. But even on the phone there are things going on between them besides just the words they say. There is tone of voice. There are pauses in the conversation. And face-to-face there is a lot more going on. Facial expressions, maybe physical closeness or intimidation, or aversion or shyness or grief. This can't always be conveyed by what they say. HOW they say it is also important, and you need to let the reader in on this.

    And I'm not even touching on the problem of unattributed dialogue, where the reader can get confused about who is saying what—even when there are only two speakers—if the exchange goes on too long (maybe more than 3 or 4 speaker changes.)

    As a novelist or short story writer, you need to create a picture for the reader, as well as just the words your characters say. It's not a movie soundtrack. It's a written story.

    If you want to just write dialogue, why not become a scriptwriter? (And even then, you'll need to occasionally insert stage directions.) Actors will bring your story to life for you. They will take their time, interpret your dialogue to suit themselves or the director. They will move about the set as they speak, use facial expressions that convey inner thoughts and feelings, vary their tone of voice, and develop physical interaction with other actors to convey your story.

    If you leave all of these pictorial things out of a novel and just write the words the characters say, then you've got talking heads. That's fine in short bursts, but a whole story, or even a whole chapter? I'm not saying it can't be done, but it has to be done with a great deal of expertise.
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2016
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  19. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    @DylanAlexander Have you ever read Hills Like White Elephants? ;)
     
  20. CaitlinCarver

    CaitlinCarver Member

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    How 'short' is this short chapter?

    I personally wouldn't want to read a chapter of just dialogue, or mainly dialogue. I'd want to know what the characters are doing, thinking, and feeling, and what's happening around them.
     
  21. EdFromNY

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

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    It may be that your story would be better suited to a play. @jannert's comments about pacing are spot on.
     
  22. ashurbanipal

    ashurbanipal Member

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    Hello,

    I find that I have a hard time balancing dialogue with narrative. My current story is quite character-interaction intensive, in that my main character's attitudes and relationships are revealed through conversations and dialogue. This leads me to writing far more dialogue than narrative, but upon re-reading, it often comes across as more 'TV show script' than novel to me, despite this not being my intention.

    When writing narrative, I find the main things I write about are: the physical location of the scene, the character's reaction to a place/person/information, description of action, or describing a relationship. But, I find that I often write the same type of thing in different ways, and worry that I will be boring the reader.

    What are your experiences/comments/advice regarding balancing dialogue and narrative?

    Thanks
     
  23. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    If you have a lot of dialogue you shouldn't need to describe the relationships much. Those should leap out at the reader from the dialogue. It's okay to mention someone is a father/coworker/limo driver in relation to another character, but things like their history or how they feel about each other should be shown in dialogue. If you have to tell us that you might be in trouble.

    In general there's really no template for the dialogue/narration balance. Assuming the dialogue is engaging and revelatory you can get away with having a lot of it. Obvious if it's boring or redundant the reader will tune out quickly. Do you use a lot of dialogue beats? Those can be a great way of sneaking in little snippets of action or description. Are you concerned with a lack of action? Long conversations/passages of dialogue certainly suggest a lack of movement, so if it's a matter of having your characters sitting down and talking for most of the book you might consider adding some action into the passages. Tough to tell without reading it. If you post a sample into the workshop (assuming you meet the qualifications) we might have a better idea of where you concerns are.
     
  24. ashurbanipal

    ashurbanipal Member

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    By describing relationship, I mostly meant the inner feelings of a person towards characters which might not be obvious, or by using their unspoken thoughts, especially when that aspect couldn't be revealed through dialogue. Otherwise I end up 'showing by dialogue'. I feel that, in some ways, I could show most of the story by dialogue, but this would get tedious and it flows better when broken up with narrative. However, just inserting descriptions of a place or similar for the sake of breaking it up a bit seems wrong also.
     
  25. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    It depends. If it's naked description for the sake of filler, then yes. If it's more symbolic or atmospheric it can elevate everything around it. You always need a little filler material.
     

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