Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Scattercat, Sep 8, 2008.

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  1. No-Name Slob

    No-Name Slob Member Supporter Contributor

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    You're probably having sympathy pains in the form of nesting. Here's what I wish someone had told me when I was about to have my second (ps - my son was 4 1/2 when my daughter was born, so about the same age difference. It's truly a perfect distance between the two): going from one child to two is unbelievably difficult. No one really tells you how hard it is. Especially with the age gap, it's like starting all over with the baby stage, having inconveniently forgotten how to baby, all the while, the rules have been flipped and switched on you without warning. I don't think I had ever been more exhausted, confused, scared, or frustrated than when we added our daughter to the family.

    But with that said, there was the most indescribable joy threaded through all of it. I don't know how many kids you plan on having, but when I had my daughter it felt like a complete family; the perfect addition. Plus, little girls are the sweetest, cuddly things you could possibly ask for in this world. And amid all the chaos, my heart burst at the seams. Now that they're older, it is the most amazing thing to watch their relationship blossom, and my son is the best big brother the world could ask for. Even though my daughter is a threenager and sassy as all get-out, one day she will appreciate that with the unique love only a little sister can have for her "big bubba."

    All that's to say -- you're right to be an emotional basket case because you will always be one from here on out. It's the most splendid chaos in the world.
     
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  2. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    This conversation literally couldn't have come at a worse time.
     
  3. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    :(
     
  4. No-Name Slob

    No-Name Slob Member Supporter Contributor

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    Oh gosh, @Lea`Brooks I didn't read your post until just now. I'm so sorry if I seemed insensitive! I'm not going to tell you that it will come "when it's time" because I know when it feels like time, it feels like time. I'm so sorry. :(
     
  5. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    Eh, it's not your fault. lol It's just very unfortunately timing. :p
     
  6. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Mistakes happen. :p

    Hey guys and gals, ever had those moments when you feel like you're just tired of being a good person -- you just want to be an uncaring son of a bitch; a passive-aggressive, vindictive, spiteful person? Well, that's how I feel now. How did this happen? Apparently a YouTube comment called Americans 'subnormal' in a topic about Trump threatening to arrest people for burning the American flag and I guess that triggered something in me.

    Wow. I'm easily triggered. No damned wonder people are sick of folks like me, getting offended over every little slight possible. :p :D It's like we're all, OMG YOU HAVE AN OPINION I DON'T LIKE! YOU HORRIBLE NAZI-PIG!!!!111oneoneshifteleven!!!!!!

    But seriously, how do I stop getting so easily triggered? D:
     
  7. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    *donates her fertility to @Lea`Brooks to add to her own and go forth and multiply*

    @Link the Writer I have no idea but just wanted to say fuck the people who are "sick" of sensitive souls. They're ignorant wankers.
     
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  8. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    I second this. Sensitivity is seen as such a negative thing these days, and I don't understand it. Like, what's wrong with trying not to hurt people's feelings? Why is it a bad thing? Sure, some people take it too far, and I don't expect everyone to be sensitive to everything. But whenever someone gets upset about things these days, it's almost always met with "triggered." And for some reason, that triggers me. lol Drives me insane, and I wanna knock out anyone who says it.

    *waits for the inevitable "triggered" post to come*
     
  9. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I guess I was just mocking myself with how sensitive I seem to be about certain things. Yeah, one asswipe saying Americans are subnormal and I let that get to me? Surely I should be made of more stronger stuff? I mean, yeah there was that cyberbully I told you all about, but that was years ago. You'd think now, after all this time, I would've grown a pair and realized that no matter what anyone says on the internet, I don't have to let it get me so badly. That's what I meant.

    Jesus S. Christ, did that cyberbully traumatize me that much?! D:
     
  10. I.A. By the Barn

    I.A. By the Barn A very lost time traveller Contributor

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    Here I am again, moaning. My brain has got really bad now, I'm having panic attacks every other day. My job just makes me want to cry daily, but can I cry? Nope. I've also stopped eating lunch because I can't afford it and I no longer feel hungry anyway, which scares me.
    I feel like my body is trying to shut down on me and I don't know how to stop it. I have this constant wandering feeling in my head like I walk out the door and keep going, but when I try to write, try to read, try to weave or try anything I can't.
    I've got nowhere helpful to go, a support group in the real world would just worry me and I'm on the waiting list for that clinic, so I've just got to wait. But I've been waiting since mid August now and I'm terrible at waiting. I'm sorry, I just use this thread to ramble but I just need to today.
     
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  11. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Feel completely lost with a lack of motivation to boot.

    I like my job. I appreciate the fact that it pays well, especially considering my age.

    Maybe just too much of my time is being soaked up playing video games... Could be using that time for reading, *writing* (which I am far too successful at putting off), or getting my Gen-Ed classes out of the way at community college.

    Unfortunately, video games are pretty much the number one way, and the most fun way, to keep in touch with my cousins and friends.

    ---

    And speaking of work, the other day a pipe in the print-shop was spraying / leaking water. It had happened once before, and instead of ACTUALLY FIXING IT, they just fucking taped it all up. Well, what do you know, a month later and it's happening again. Somebody must have bumped it with one of the big carts... anyway.

    There's just a great big pool of water flooding from this pipe, which leads from the roof to a drain underground somewhere. Not only is it just a hazard in and of itself, but there are tons of exposed wires in the shop (despite it being a fairly orderly and cleanly shop). And no more than 15 feet away from the pipe is an industrial printer worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

    My supervisor and I start by squee-geeing(?) the water away from the printer. In the meantime a co-worker lays down a layer of towels in between the printer and the pipe, as a sort of make-shift barricade in case we miss any. At this point, the clean-up has been in progress for about 30 minutes.

    I tell my co-worker Steve that he can go back to printing, "Lyle and I got it." Little do I know that when he went back to printing, the system froze up on him. Between trying to unfreeze the program, restarting the entire machine, and getting it up and running again, it took him at least an hour.

    While that was going on, my supervisor and I were continuing to push water back into this drain-hole, but soon that was overflowing. So now he had to go get a vacuum, and start sucking up all the water. It can hold 15 gallons at a time, but we didn't want to fill it to the brim, so it filled quite quick. Not to mention this was an additional hazard; despite the vacuum saying it was "water-proof", something about running electrical machinery in a pool of water that is inches deep, with the cord submerged as well, didn't seem very safe.

    Long story short, we started vacuuming the excess water, and after a few trips of dumping it outside he wrapped up the hole in the pipe *again* with some sort of clear tape. I'm quite sure it's actually some sort of adhesive material used in the banner department, not actual duct-tape, but whatever. If that's what they want to keep doing instead of just replacing that section of the pipe, have at it.

    All in all from the recognition of the process to completing the clean-up and patchwork, it took two hours. When I return to check on Steve, our other co-worker (let's just call him Mark) is there with him. This is when I find out that the printer had stopped working on Steve.

    I say to Mark jokingly, "Hey, we bailed all the water out of the boat!" After all, what good does it do to be all 'doom-and-gloom' about such things.

    "Only took you guys two hours," he bites back. Then he stands up and looks at me and says, "That's ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous." Then he says something complimentary to Steve in front of my face, and stalks off.

    Seriously dude? Come on.

    I just wanted to say, "Fine then, next time you can do it yourself. Being a plumber isn't part of my fucking job description."

    My only guess is he heard me joking and having a laugh with my supervisor while we were cleaning up the huge mess, and just got salty about it and figured we were dicking around. Which isn't true at all. Reality is, I just don't like being a Serious Sam about everything. I'd rather at least have some slight enjoyment rather than make everything a big deal.

    Whatever. Put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. Had me slamming shit. You know, the usual way you blow off steam without taking it out on the person who caused it, or on yourself.

    Can't say I'm looking forward to work tomorrow though.
     
  12. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    SORRY FOR DOUBLE POST

    Feel completely lost with a lack of motivation to boot.

    I like my job. I appreciate the fact that it pays well, especially considering my age.

    Maybe just too much of my time is being soaked up playing video games... Could be using that time for reading, *writing* (which I am far too successful at putting off), or getting my Gen-Ed classes out of the way at community college.

    Unfortunately, video games are pretty much the number one way, and the most fun way, to keep in touch with my cousins and friends.

    ---

    And speaking of work, the other day a pipe in the print-shop was spraying / leaking water. It had happened once before, and instead of ACTUALLY FIXING IT, they just fucking taped it all up. Well, what do you know, a month later and it's happening again. Somebody must have bumped it with one of the big carts... anyway.

    There's this great big pool of water flooding from this pipe, which leads from the roof to a drain underground somewhere. Not only is it just a hazard in and of itself, but there are tons of exposed wires in the shop (despite it being a fairly orderly and cleanly shop). And no more than 15 feet away from the pipe is an industrial printer worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

    My supervisor and I start by squee-geeing(?) the water away from the printer. In the meantime a co-worker lays down a layer of towels in between the printer and the pipe, as a sort of make-shift barricade in case we miss any. At this point, the clean-up has been in progress for about 30 minutes.

    I tell my co-worker Steve that he can go back to printing, "Lyle and I got it." Little do I know that when he went back to printing, the system froze up on him. Between trying to unfreeze the program, restarting the entire machine, and getting it up and running again, it took him at least an hour.

    While that was going on, my supervisor and I were continuing to push water back into this drain-hole, but soon that was overflowing. So now he had to go get a vacuum, and start sucking up all the water. It can hold 15 gallons at a time, but we didn't want to fill it to the brim, so it filled quite quick. Not to mention this was an additional hazard; despite the vacuum saying it was "water-proof", something about running electrical machinery in a pool of water that is inches deep, with the cord submerged as well, didn't seem very safe.

    Long story short, we started vacuuming the excess water, and after a few trips of dumping it outside he wrapped up the hole in the pipe *again* with some sort of clear tape. I'm quite sure it's actually some sort of adhesive material used in the banner department, not actual duct-tape, but whatever. If that's what they want to keep doing instead of just replacing that section of the pipe, have at it.

    All in all from the recognition of the problem to completing the clean-up and patchwork, it took two hours. When I return to check on Steve, our other co-worker (let's just call him Mark) is there with him. This is when I find out that the printer had stopped working on Steve.

    I say to Mark jokingly, "Hey, we bailed all the water out of the boat!" After all, what good does it do to be all 'doom-and-gloom' about such things.

    "Only took you guys two hours," he bites back. Then he stands up and looks at me and says, "That's ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous." Then he says something complimentary to Steve in front of my face, and stalks off.

    Seriously dude? Come on.

    I just wanted to say, "Fine then, next time you can do it yourself. Or actually, I won't say or do anything, and just let it leak under the printer and fry half a million dollars worth of machinery. Being a plumber isn't part of my fucking job description."

    My only guess is he heard me joking and having a laugh with my supervisor while we were cleaning up the huge mess, and just got salty about it and figured we were dicking around. Which isn't true at all. Reality is, I just don't like being a Serious Sam about everything. I'd rather at least have some slight enjoyment rather than make everything a big deal and intentionally make my life miserable.

    Whatever. Put me in a bad mood for the rest of the night. Had me slamming things. You know, the usual way you blow off steam without taking it out on the person who caused it, or on yourself.

    Can't say I'm looking forward to work tomorrow though. I don't like apologizing, nor do I like accepting apologies. Not because I'd rather hold a grudge, but because it's awkward.
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2016
  13. Sal Boxford

    Sal Boxford Senior Member

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    It's frustrating when it feels like this is the most useful - or the only - thing you can do. If it does help at all: ramble away! How does your real world support group worry you? Are you worried about them, about the effect they have on you?

    Yesterday I (by my standards) picked a fight with the closest thing I have to a friend in this part of the country. I was having a really bad day and emailed her to let her know (as I do every few months) that I still feel utterly shitty and hopeless and she replied with, "I'm sorry you feel that way and I wish there was something I could do. If it helps, me and [partner] really enjoyed our evening at yours last week." So she's friend enough to accept an invitation to my house but when I email in extreme distress and she's in the same building in the same city her response isn't to immediately come and be with me, or even to offer an evening to chat or something, it's to say, "Yeah, that sucks - sorry!" When you tell someone you've been friends with for a decade that you're *really not doing well* shouldn't they show some degree of concern or affection? Anyway, I replied a little snippily suggesting I was disappointed with her response. I'm now scared to see her. I feel like she's going to be angry. Maybe a fight would make me feel good. Never really had one before.
     
  14. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I read this thread often because it gives me insight into how people on the forum sometimes feel. I'm really sorry that you're feeling uncared-for and on your own, when you need support. The fact that you have to wait so long for that support to appear isn't helping. Have you been able to see a GP regarding your physical symptoms (panic attacks, not wanting to eat?) They might be able to suggest something that helps get you over the hump.

    It's hard to be creative when you're not feeling up to it. Instead, feel free to ramble here. There are lots of people on the forum who can identify with your feelings at the moment. I hope this soon passes and you start to feel better.
     
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  15. I.A. By the Barn

    I.A. By the Barn A very lost time traveller Contributor

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    @Sal Boxford I used to go to a group at college and I dreaded every week, the looks, the stares and the baby tone the group leader would use was horrible. I didn't join another back home because it didn't work at college so I saw little chance of it working here.
    @jannert I have to wait three weeks for a go appointment because the doctors round me are terrible. But yes, I am going back.
    Thank you guys.
     
  16. Sal Boxford

    Sal Boxford Senior Member

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    @I.A. By the Barn Baby tones. Gah! My counsellor talks to me like I'm a fragile little thing that might fall apart if she speaks above a whisper. She's trying to get me to express anger (nice counselling cliche) at the moment and says I haven't to worry about offending her. I think I might start with her ridiculous fecking voice.

    Hope your day is getting better. Take care.
     
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  17. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Hey, just wanted to say that you all are awesome and amazing in your own ways, OK? I hope what I said earlier didn't upset anyone. :( Wasn't my intent.

    @Sal Boxford - Well, go for it. If she tells you to unleash your verbal rage, and she won't be offended...then she really has no room to talk when you start insulting her. :p
     
  18. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    I miss home. :(

    I saw a quote on Facebook today that said, "I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."

    And god, that resonated with me so hard. I thought if I moved to Virginia and got away from Illinois, I'd get a new shot at life. I'd make new friends and have a new family and just be great. But none of that happened. My husband's family is crazy (fortunately something we both agree on), his friends are flakes, and I was unemployed, giving me no shot at making friends.

    So I got a job. And for a while there, I felt better. I was finally doing something, I felt like I had a small purpose, and I was surrounded by people. I felt like we were close and that I was finally going to have friends to talk to and hang out with and trust.

    But more and more recently, I'm starting to realize none of that is true. None of it. I felt like I did more when I was unemployed because I was taking care of the house and taking the weight off my husband. I felt like I had a purpose more when I was unemployed because I was writing every day, working toward my dream. And all of those people I was surrounded by? It's all shallow. Sure, we talk. But I'm not going to tell them my deepest secrets and they won't tell me theirs. I can't trust them to keep my secrets or make me feel better when I'm sad or defend me in the worst of times. They're coworkers. But friends? Not even close.

    I miss home. I miss my alcoholic mom and my bitchy step sister and my best friend talking about shit I don't care about. It's frustrating, yeah, but they are still my people. They have my back and my heart, unlike anyone here (except my husband, of course).

    In a way, I'm glad I went through this, because I may have never reached this point back home. I would've continued to look at the negatives and never see how good I actually had it. I'll get it back. Sooner rather than later, I hope. But I'll get there.
     
  19. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    I was thinking about this again today. The girl I'm closest with at work, the one person I thought I could actually hang out with and be friends with, is hanging out with other girls at work... But not me. And I've asked her to hang out before. But we never did. And now she's out with other girls from work, and I didn't even get an invite.

    So I started thinking.. And realized I haven't made a new friend since college. I've had friends come and go since then, but they were all people I'd known since middle school or high school. But new friends? People I had just met and built a relationship with? I haven't made one of those in ten years.

    And now I'm crying.
     
  20. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    You've got me. You've got us.
     
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  21. I.A. By the Barn

    I.A. By the Barn A very lost time traveller Contributor

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    @Lea`Brooks
    Sending you hugs :friend:
    You're such a lovely person, so know this much, it isn't your fault.
     
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  22. Mumble Bee

    Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

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    Anyone else feel zero desire to create bonds with people out there in the world?
    I try to be polite and courteous. Whenever I'm forced into a situation where contact is unavoidable people even mistake me for social...
    But every second I spend with people that isn't actively contributing in some way, all this meaningless 'small talk', I'm screaming on the inside looking for an escape.

    It feels like other peoples brains give them a reward for socializing, when all mine does is count up the amount of time wasted not being productive.
     
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  23. halisme

    halisme Contributor Contributor

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    I, I've not been doing well lately. My depressions have been getting to me quite a lot, and I don't really know how to talk to anyone about it. I don't want to be a burden to other people. It's not suicidal or anything. More a growing sense of apathy towards myself, and no longer getting joy out of anything. Half the time it feels like there's a dull throbbing in my head as well. Overall, I just feel terrible.
     
  24. Mumble Bee

    Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

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    This described me for a while. Eventually I figured out that the things I was trying to get 'joy' were less things I found enjoyable, and more things that society told me that I should enjoy. My advice is pretty hit or miss, but it sounds like you need to figure more out about yourself. It's not always a fun journey, that's why so few people try, but it's more than worth trying.
     
  25. halisme

    halisme Contributor Contributor

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    No, if I did what society told me I'd be going out more often. I know what I like, just I get seasonal depression and it's hitting me pretty hard at the moment.
     
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