I've been trying to write something, have ideas. But haven't really gotten very far, and I can't seem to motivate myself to do so. If you care to know my set-up, I have a secondary computer here I got from my father's house when he died earlier this year, he never used it. I decided that I would begin typing on this rather than my gaming comp (which I am using right now) like I always have before. Mostly because my writings are clogging up my desktop. This secondary computer can't go online for some reason, and it literally has nothing installed on it other than open office. Seriously, nothing, you can't even play solitaire on the thing. I also decided this would be an advantage since that way I wouldn't be distracted by games or anything while writing since the thing can't go online, and I also only have one mouse, keyboard, monitor, and power cable, so I can't have both on at the same time. But this doesn't help much, and its actually somewhat detrimental since it means I can't look up something online while I'm brainstorming. I also have, other problems. Two to be precise. First, I believe I may be suffering from maladaptive daydreaming. I spend huge amounts of time pacing while going over a monologue in my head of all the things I've recently learned online. Either that or daydreaming about a life I would love to have but can never be achieved. And no, making money wouldn't fix it. Nothing would, trust me, its just an escapist fantasy. Trying to write seems to encourage this because often times, I suddenly realize that I've been pacing for hours daydreaming about the story I want to write down, without typing a single thing. I also seem to do this when I'm bored or a get excited (I tend to daydream when I'm watching youtube videos, which is annoying because I often then have to rewind the video because I missed something while I was spacing out). I've been trying to conquer this for a few days now, but I don't really seem to be getting anywhere. And like I said, trying to brainstorm a story seems to be one of my triggers, which poses an obvious issue. And of course since that comp has no internet or any other features other than openoffice, the boredom thing is also an issue. I also have, another problem. Years ago I used to listen to power and folk metal all the time, I was hugely interested in fantasy for the longest time and many of those bands (all from Europe, mostly Scandinavia) have an obvious fantasy theme to them. But well, something happened. Gangnam Style came out. Seriously. I ended up taking an interest in k-pop that since then has become an obsession for me. I think I may literally spend hours a day watching kpop. I don't mind it, I'm an individual and it makes me happy and I really don't have much to be happy about. Besides, I can dodge the urge to watch just by switching comps. The problem is k-pop obviously doesn't give me the same inspiration that my metal used to. I alternated between the two for a while, depending on which I was in the mood for. But at one point I realized that I hadn't listen to any metal in months, only k-pop. Now, I've long since stopped entirely. I try to listen to my old stuff, and now I seriously think 'wow, I used to listen to this garbage???'. Honestly, I think that may be why I lost interest in writing fantasy, because I just wasn't listening to all these epic metal songs, or reading up on much mythology which I had a passion for for a while. Anyway, I don't know what I can do about this. I can't really figure out how to stay in task and stop spacing out. And I just don't care for the media anymore that used to inspire so much passion in me. I've tried to get back into metal, but I've really had no success. Also, trying to listen to power metal when you've been listening to k-pop all day is... jarring. I don't want to give up k-pop, but I'm starting to think my mindless hobby is actually detrimental to my writing. I don't know what to do.
Are you able to focus on other things? Like school, work or whatever you do with most of your day? If so... I'd say maybe you're just realizing that writing is hard and daydreaming is easy, and are letting yourself do the easy thing. If you aren't able to focus on other things, I'd suggest speaking to your doctor. there could be something chemical going on, there could be therapies that could help you out... it's a larger issue than anything that can be solved on a writing forum. In terms of the K-pop vs. Scandinavian metal? That seems like a red herring to me.
I can focus, though for some reason I tend to daydream when I'm doing things. If I do a sudoku puzzle, I'm literally daydreaming while simultaneously thinking about the puzzle. Don't ask me how I do that, apparently I'm REALLY good at multi-tasking if I can have two thought processes going on at once simultaneously. Well, they appear to be simultaneous to me anyway. I don't do this when conversing with people, though I do tend to do it while eating. Or driving around, or when in general I have nothing to do. I've looked up some stuff online to see if I can solutions. Its not really recognized a disorder, apparently they only take it seriously if nothing else works. Hopefully I can just conquer it on my own. Of course, I still think my k-pop thing is a problem since I'm not consuming other more, inspiring, media as a consequence.
I agree with Bay. Writing is hard, and watching K-Pop videos is easy. You said that you figured having a PC without an internet connection would help you write, which suggests to me that you were not writing in the first place, so how could Kpop or boredom induced by the lack of internet be to blame?
I think @NiallRoach touched on the question I wanted to ask you. Why do you want to write? Are you a reader? Do you enjoy reading written stories?
It used to be solely because I liked the medium and storytelling. I am artistic and do try to find ways to express myself. I've recently tried to learn to draw, but for some reason I lost interest in that rather quickly. Granted, now the primary reason I try to write is because I really have no other skills, and either way there's no other job I feel like I could stand doing.
Since I can't seem to edit my post for some reason, I'll just make a new one. I do read, though I can rarely afford books. Really, the only 2 books I've read in the past 10 years maybe is The Hobbit and Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain. Both were more for research purposes though. I did enjoy the Don't Tell My Parents book, though I disliked the ending. I didn't really find The Hobbit all that captivating until it got to the climax. Note that my Hobbit book was purchased a few years ago when the first Hobbit movie came out. It wasn't until a few months ago I actually got around to reading it. I've been avoiding reading in a way, because supposedly that's a bad idea when you're trying to write something. But honestly, I'm starting to re-think that. Its to the point where I'm trying to write when I haven't read a thing in 10 years and I haven't really written anything other than setting exposition for years. Guess I need to actually get back to reading? I don't know what to pick though, superhero books are really scant and I think the 'Don't Tell My Parents' series is the only really good one. I do own another book called 'after the golden age', but reading about it I'm getting the impression its not even what I'm after. I want to write comic-book style adventures. This book however seems to be more about an ordinary person living in a post-superhero world.
I think reading is the most useful thing you can do, if you want to be a writer. Would you try to become a music composer if you didn't like music, and only had two CDs, both of which you didn't much like? If you enjoy comic-book style adventures, why not try writing a comic book? These are big sellers and lots of people love them. You tell the story primarily through dialogue and pictures. You could start by writing the dialogue, dividing it into frames, and deciding what kind of picture should go into each frame. If you don't feel competent to draw the pictures yourself, see if you can work up a collaboration with somebody else who would be inspired by your story and would provide the pictures. Lots of comic strips and books are produced this way, with one person doing the 'story' and the other providing the pictures. I think your problem is that you can't seem to focus on what sort of creative project you want to do. I'd say stop running in circles and think hard ...what do I actually like? Given all sorts of entertainment possibilities, which kind do I choose? And work from there. I do feel it's a huge mistake to want to become a writer of stories (long or short) when you don't actually enjoy reading them. By reading, I mean reading. Not watching them on TV or video games or comic books or movies. Actually reading books. If that's not your thing, you will struggle to produce a good one. However, there are many MANY ways to harness your creativity and tell stories that others will enjoy. Just slow down a bit and think about this. What kind of storytelling do I love? That should point you in the right direction.
I experience no passion for anything anymore. So I'm just going with what I used to love. That's it. If I only did what I cared to do, I would literally do nothing. Besides, its the only way I can see myself making a living at this point. I'll be turning 30 by the end of the month, and I have no job experience or college education or anything. Thinking about it, I'm basically in the exact same situation I was in when I was 18 (minus my abusive father, of course). This is the only way I have any sort of future. So like it or not, I really have no choice.
BlackHeart, I realize you said you don't have a passion for this, but the truth is that to write a good story- something that will interest other people and has a chance in hell of being published, you must figure out a topic or plot that interests you. It's easy to get away with halfheartedly standing at a cash register or flipping burgers. You can even be an engineer and not care for what you do. Physical art like painting can be done halfheartedly. Just take a brush and paint what you see to the best of your ability. These are not things that require passion. Writing is, because it is all about creativity. You can't really force creativity on the scale necessary to write a book. Your mind must be taking dragging you to write a book, not you trying to drag your mind to the task. I find myself spending hours per day researching the medieval times and watching or reading fantasy. My mind goes through all of this information and selects what I think is highly interesting and would make for a great story. Then my mind goes into creativity mode and I start thinking of a fantasy world with many of these things that I like in it. Before I know it, I can't think about anything but this highly detailed and (to me) extremely engaging world. Then I'm itching to write it. I can't wait. I wish I could fast forward in time just so I can read it. The book you are writing should be the book that you really want to read. The ideal collection of ideas that nobody has created but you desperately want to see. I often find myself going back and reading over the things I've written, just because I like those things so much. To be clear, I'm not saying I think my stories are the best things since sliced bread and everybody should be crazy over them. I'm saying that to me the stories I write are exactly what I find interesting, which is why I write them. All of this is true for my fantasy setting. It is also true for my sci-fi setting that I am saving for later. It may not be true for everybody but it is true for dozens of authors whose advice I've read in the past. Never-mind writing talent and the finer works. Those skills can be acquired, and you seem to at least have the grammar portion of it down well. But to have a chance at writing something successful and turning it into a career you must first find the elements and ultimately story that interest you and then put it to words. But before you decide to devote time to writing for the sake of money, I encourage you to do some research about publishing, author income, etc. I've read that writing for a living is not an easy task, especially when you are new to this field of work and nobody knows your name. Even if you write a kickass novel destined to become the next Harry Potter or Game of Thrones or whatever, it may be months and years until it is providing you with enough income to make a living. It's not my place to judge your life decisions or to offer you advice on how to live your life... But if I were with no job and no education, I would find a mainstream job and make writing a hobby until I am positive I can switch over to it as a career. This is sort of what I am doing right now, actually. I am a computer science student but I write in my spare time and have planned out the steps I need to take to write and publish the stories I have thought of. I am doing research and trying to include elements that will make my stories popular, but I still expect it will be quite a few years (if ever) that my books are bought in sufficient quantities to bring in any kind of actual money. Just understand that writing isn't a get rich quick kind of game. Even Rowling, who has ~$400 million in her bank account now spent years writing, editing, and promoting the first Harry Potter novel and sent it to a couple hundred publishers before someone liked it enough to give her a chance. I have ADD (not ADHD though) so ironically I find writing easy, because fantasizing about possible stories and magic or sci-fi is my happy place- at the expense of software engineering, of course. Maybe try to direct your daydreaming to focus on your story instead- just imagine yourself as one of the characters and think about what it would be interesting to see that character do. Also, I would recommend that you post your plot idea to the appropriate section of this forum. People there will be glad to help you develop a coherent storyline. I don't mean to sound discouraging, I just don't want people to have certain impossible expectations of writing (I don't know what exactly yours are) and then become frustrated when their dreams don't coalesce with reality neatly as they expected. But if you find something you want to write about, that single book you wish you could find on the Barnes and Nobles shelf but can't, and if you are willing to put in significant time and effort- you can become a successful writer. Do some reasearch on things like ISBNs, self vs 3rd party publishing, and elements audiences find engaging. One more word of advice in regards to publishing: Kindle
Writing is pretty much the worst choice for a career out there, moneywise. You'd be better off working in am entry level McJob than writing a novel. Unless, of course, you want to write a novel. There's zero point forcing yourself to write if you don't want to, because the chances of you making any reasonable dosh are miniscule even if you're enthused about it.
It has nothing to do with what we want or don't want you to do. I personally don't know you and I absolutely don't care what you do. You started a thread asking people how to stay focused on writing. You explained that you have great difficulty focusing on writing, you're not even interested in it (you said yourself that you just listen to k-pop), and you expect it to quickly earn you money (and thus serve as a salvation from your present situation). Well we told you what we think of that approach and its odds of success. It can succeed, but it requires enthusiasm, time, dedication, and persistence. I mentioned Rowling. Before the became the $400 million wonder she is today, she was a poor, unemployed, single mother suffering from depression. But despite all of that she managed to pull through and write a good book which was the first step on a road that would bring her massive fortune. If there is a will, there is a way. The problem is that it does not sound to us like you want to have anything to do with the conventional steps to success in writing. But you be the judge of that. If you have the will, prove us wrong by writing a great novel and getting it published for stacks of money. Nobody wants anything from you. We gave you our honest thoughts and advice on the topic you wanted, based on the information you provided. If you don't like our advice or despise the reality that money doesn't rain from the sky just because you want it to, that's still not a reason to lash out at posters answering your own question honestly. Writing, like most careers, is hard work. We were trying to explain the necessary steps for writing good fiction to you and trying to convey the realities of writing as a career. If you believe piles of cash fall on your lap with minimal effort, you need to reassess. If you think that people with any kinds of money just got if from nowhere, you need to reassess. People spend years doing hard work and go into heavy debt to receive a college education or to build a career. If you think it's reasonable to swear at people trying to offer you advice you requested on a writing forum, because they happened to have spent years working towards an education and a career instead of listening to k-pop for days on end... I guess that is your choice. But don't expect much good to come of such an attitude.
If you really want to pursue writing, I would suggest joining a library. Go and get a big stack of books, all different genres, and just read. Turn reading books into your obsession, instead of k-pop. Then, you'll build up a good experience of what makes a good novel. Plus, whenever you are indulging in your obsession, it will at least count as research and development. There's nothing wrong with daydreaming, but you need to focus it towards something productive. Keep a notebook, and when you realise you've been daydreaming, stop and write it all down. Empty your head onto a page, and it may not feel so cluttered and heavy any more.
@xBlackHeartx Don't let that last post be your epitaph, kid. I want to believe you're better than that.
Get professional help. If you have no passion for anything, it sounds like depression, but I'm not a person who can make that diagnosis official or who can help you deal with it. Get help. Get a job, even if it's a crappy one, and get out of your house. Stop having the time to obsess about meaningless stuff and start living, and then maybe you'll have the energy to start writing. Or whatever else may work for you.
To the OP: I don't know how many times I've said this, but out of habit... This is a Writing Forum. We're here to talk about writing, not what to do with your life. We're not a free counseling service. We're not a valid Mental-Health Care venue. Call your insurance company and get a list of providers where you may seek help. I am closing this thread before it erupts into a nuisance that I then have to clean up more than I already have. Are we clear? Writing Forum.
