The MC is a half elf, at least one of the party members has powerful magic, they're taking an alchemist who crafts medicines and potions while on the adventure, there's a drow and the daughter of the next door neighbour. I don't think he has to worry about this being some low fantasy setting with terrible life expectancy.
So this is in a DnD setting (if it want obvious) so what should he be up to now that he is trying to start a family?
I wish haha, no they're off of the Internet. I have a pic of Alek I drew myself but it is at home and I am at Fort Benning about to move to Italy
Well it's nothe simply a backstop, I want to write it as a full on novel. Just based on the world of DnD
There's a classic complaint about female representation in stories. Sometimes a story has (for example) the smart character, the strong character, the wily character, and...the girl. I think that you're a little too close to that.
All-in-all, I think this sounds like an interesting band of heroes. Perhaps adding some element of romance could add to the charm. I also like it how the characters' backstories add to the world as a whole I think the adventure leader could be a little young, maybe if you changed it to around in his 30s - early 40s. Perhaps since he was 'forced to go on one last adventure' he had already retired, but the king needed him to do one last thing, so he pulled him out of retirement. Ash, being a teenage elf, could perhaps be slightly arrogant, maybe adventurous, not seeking glory, but the adventure itself. Also, since he worships wolves, I think he'd probably be overprotective of his companion, perhaps getting in arguments with the others over it. Giles could be that 'lovable rogue' character, who, even if the others object, sneaks away to get drinks on his own. Kriegler's age is never mentioned, but I imagine that he's well off, perhaps older than the adventurer leader. I also imagine he'd be very duty-bound. Perhaps joining the adventure by order of the king himself. Laskja sounds like she could be interesting, but you need to be careful not to get too carried away. She may be proficient with the blade, but she's probably far from mastering it. Perhaps she and her master train every so often during their adventure. She could be outgoing and adventurous, but slightly clumsy at times, making mistakes here and there. Draug sounds like he could be too much. You have to be careful with a character like him. Perhaps making the twist be that he DOESN'T betray them, but instead betrays his own people/master by joining them in the first place, but perhaps has internal turmoil about the whole ordeal. I apologize if this was too much, but I do hope it helps. Overall, I like the band, it sounds quite charming, but the real issue is with follow-through. Any character can be interesting or uninteresting due to how they're depicted no matter how good their backstories are. Also, about the band of mercenaries, I think it would be interesting if someone hired them to do what they are now doing, who would be the final boss. There's actually quite a lot of possibility here.
Yeah you hit the nail on the head Sixthperson, what I'm struggling with now is wether or not to have the MC working for the King already with Kriegler. The two being almost like brothers from a campaign together. Or to maybe have the MC living on his own with his wife and kid and being hired by the king to track down the mercenaries and the person who hired them. Or maybe the MC is still working as a mercenary himself and is hired by the king that way.
That's a good question, I'm not sure as to what her back story will be yet. It might be too cliche to go with the classic 'her parents were killed and he takes her under his wing' if he is working for the king as a knight or something like that then maybe a local family sent her to the Keep to eventually be a knight herself so she was assigned to Alek as his apprentice/assistant.
I don't want her to be just a shoe in character for the sake of having a female in the party. She is just Aleks Apprentice who just happens to be a girl.
There are a number of published settings for use with D&D and related games. If you're using one of those and want to publish the novel you'll want to be aware of intellectual property considerations.
I mean I'm purely ameture, this is essentially just fanfiction. (Of course if I would be able to land a job athat Wizards of the Coast writing adventure modules and such that would be amazing)
Perhaps you could go with something like: he retired, and the king sent his friend to get him out of retirement? And then, of course, he has to bring his apprentice along. For her, yes, you could easily make it cliché, but I wouldn't worry about it too much, just think of a good story to go with it. If you're too worried about what the reader may think, then you can be too caught up in them, and forget your own story. Then it's no longer your story.... By the way, I love the pictures! I think it's kind of funny how the girl almost looks more like a guy, ans vice versa. But I do love the designs. Also, I apologize, but I have never played DnD, so I can't offer any help there :/
What's so special about Alek that the king would get him out of retirement? Alek is quite young, married, and spends alot of time training an apprentice. So it's not like he's all in. How humiliating for the king's current set of warriors!
Perhaps Alek has another friend from the Borderlands campaign, a female Knight named Vera Shatolov. So that would make Alek, Kriegler and Shatolov all veterans of one of the most brutal campaigns in recent memory. And maybe they are all Knights, the best the king has even. That would make sence then for the king to send them
Well it looks like you've got enough creativity to write a story. I know you're basing it off of DnD, so I just wanted to ask if you've already thought about what demographic you expect your readers to be a part of. I'm going to offer my thoughts on what would run through my mind if I were reading your story as you described it. Investing in realism in regards to the laws of physics (with the exclusion of magic) and human interactions will earn you higher praise from more mature and intelligent audiences. Since you are writing about a medieval society, here are some considerations: -Determine what kind of social structure your land possesses. You mention a king, but is it a national or feudal monarchy? -If your nation has knights it must have a feudal hierarchy with landowning warriors at the top and the serfs they own on the bottom. -If any of your characters are knights, they would realistically be travelling with an entourage of followers including a squire/page and some servants. Too often people with too much exposure solely to high fantasy come up with the scenario of a squad of archetype good guys, each with a useful specialty, adventuring across the land with nothing but the clothes on their back. It doesn't sound like your MC is a knight necessarily but he does have at least one loyal follower, even if it is his neighbor's daughter. Speaking of Laskja, what is pushing her to accompany the MC? You mentioned that she is his apprentice in some way, but what is her motivation for wanting to become a warrior? If you do choose to pursue realism, keep in mind that most people she may face in combat will weigh roughly twice what she weighs and anybody but militiamen will probably also be far more skilled. It irks me to no end when movies show 100 pound girls who have never held swords before (I know Laskja has) dispatching dozens of veteran warriors like cardboard cut outs. She will be a lot more likeable if you show your readers that she still has much to learn but despite this she does her best to show bravery even when she knows the person she is fighting is better than her. The picture of her you posted does look like a good start for her appearance. Maybe give her a helmet and make her armor have more coverage. Armor would allow you to write a couple of scenes where she fights a superior opponent and takes some blows (high quality chainmail is almost impervious to most swords) but her determination keeps her in the fight long enough that her opponent makes a mistake or is dispatched by someone else. Tip: A good weapon for a weak fighter is the longsword or a 6 foot spear she can use in both arms. I am also a little confused in regards to Kriegler. You stated he is an alchemist, but also implied that he was a veteran of a brutal campaign. How did this man who spent time in an academy or as an apprentice to learn alchemy end up fighting in a war, and why is he going on a quest that will likely involve more fighting? Sir Isaac Newton was an alchemist among other things but despite being a "knight" he did rather little fighting (though I heard an apple had a go at him once... he lost). Kriegler may be less confusing if he is a soldier who also gained a basic understanding of brewing certain concoctions in peacetime rather than an alchemist who acts as a soldier for some reason. Giles has great potential if you can write him well. The funny scoundrel who sides with the "good guys" for a ton of cash has always been a likeable character. Han Solo, Bronn of the Blackwater, etc. are always favorites. Not a whole lot to say about Ash. Not entirely sure why the fate of the kingdom would be entrusted in part to a teenager with a wolf, but then again I don't know his backstory or the extent of his abilities. Medieval society had no concept of adolescence- everybody was either a child or (I think at 14+) an adult, so I suppose he has that going for him. As others have pointed out, late 20's is an incredibly early retirement. In Medieval society most men would only be knighted at 20 or 21 years of age, and could be expected to fight until their 40's. Either your character looted some serious money early in his life or your kingdom has a welfare program about a millennia ahead of its time. One last thing, don't make your characters invincible. Men who train in martial arts for roughly the same amount of time will have roughly the same amount of skill. There isn't really such a thing as a swordsman prodigy and usually even the best swordsman in the world fighting a swordsman with several years of experience will lose once or twice out of ten rounds. If your main character is in his late twenties and wearing quality armor, it makes sense for him to be able to devastate several untrained militiamen with spears. He will probably receive a blow or two to his armor, just by chance, but the armor will easily save him. Yet if your main character with an arming sword confronts a single knight in plate armor and armed with a poleaxe, anybody who understands swordsmanship will bet your main character is about to have a very bad day. A character who effortlessly fights elite warriors is bad writing. Make your characters realistic and they will be loveable.
