Right now I have a plot with a major point that hinges on a key character leaving a high position. The intent is cause a massive shock to the galaxy. The scenario: Nera, a representative of the planet Sumera, is the youngest and newest member of the Galactic Super Senate, one part of the Galactic Federation. She enjoys making her queen, Maritho, proud, which she's done already by just being in the Super Senate. The story itself actually centers around Maritho and company. Sumera has become condemned by the Galactic Federation, which means the planet has lost protection and funding from the Federation, and Maritho plans to visit the Federation in order to plead her case. As Sumera was condemned under a setup job by the series' main villain, Pylar. Pylar wants Nera's seat in the Super Senate. First he arranges his seat in the lower Galactic senate for his sector, by battling and ultimately killing Oshrom, the final candidate, before the election could be held. His next step is to manipulate Nera out of the Super Senate so he can usurp her seat. Doing whatever he can jump the ranks Nera's decision to leave the Super Senate shocks everyone especially Maritho and this drives the plot where I want it to go. Nera and Maritho who once had a very loving practically mother-daughter relationship between queen and constituent turns into a bitter and venom filled rivalry overtime. As Pylar gains power in the background. My biggest problem is coming up with some reason or strategy Pylar can use to force Nera out of her position. There are a ton of variables in play. I want the reason she leaves to be legitimate and ultimately later on I want her to feel the weight of her decision when Pylar shows his true colors.
So, Nera thinks she has to leave for a legitimate reason, only to discover later that she's been had? Hmm, maybe go Lion King on this one. She could think she caused the death of some of her citizens, and then later realize it was Pylar's fault. Like Simba with Mufasa and Scar. On a side note, I would change the name "Galactic Super Senate." Personally, I would stop reading anything that had this term in it, either in the text or dust jacket. It makes me think about Power Rangers or anime with Japanese high school girls. Just my opinion.
Perhaps Nera ends up disgraced. She makes a wrong judgment call on something big, or is outmanoeuvred by Pylar in some fashion that leads her to make a very big mistake, that morally she finds her position untenable. The failure could be particularly devastating that it could act as a significant change in pace for the novel. Then afterwards, Perhaps she gave the order to do something she shouldn't have done, or tricked by Pylar into unwittingly abusing her power for what she saw as the greater good. After that large turning point, she is forced to resign (or flee or arrested or whatever you fancy) which can lead into some emotional turmoil as well as she tries to overcome her guilt at being ultimately responsible for what happened. As well as other important character interactions - others that might have been inspired by her might now look on her with disgust. And if Pylar was revealed to be behind the scenes of her disgrace after all, that could make their climactic encounter all the more interesting.
May be Nera has actually done something wrong (giving her a weakness or a flaw avoids chances of Mary Sueism) and plylar uncovers or acquires evidence of it to force her out .. like the watergate tapes FWIW I agree with homer about the galactic super senate - that title sounds really childish , while just dropping the super would be better just senate also has shades of ancient rome and /or star wars - may be just find a name for the higher house (incidentally Galactic federation is also very startrek)
A past fact comes to light that disqualifies Nera, but maybe on light, technical grounds. Or serious grounds, if you need. Medical condition orchestrated by Pylar. Unable to uphold a set of laws due to legal maneuvering by Pylar. Revelation that Nera and Maritho are related, disqualifying one or both for nepotism, with one being aware the whole time without telling the other. Nera pledges support to x political character innocently, but it is discovered that x character is in league with Pylar (perhaps Pylar reveals x is a wanted terrorist, or a legitimate politician who claims Nera's support was intended for an unlawful purpose).
[off topic] Does Galactic Super Senate really sound that bad? It was originally just chancellors and high chancellors but those don't exactly mean what I want them to. I'll ponder on that then
@DeathandGrim For your original inquiry. Well first what is her motivation for choosing to leave? Does she feel that she has not acted as well as she could have when representing her planet? Perhaps utilize the cunning of Pylar to find a way to orchestrate a mistrust in Nera's abilities as a diplomat, that would put her into a position to step down as a representative of her planet. Either by finding a misstep on her part that would tarnish her reputation, or fabricate an intricate cabal that involves her being in league with the enemy elements. As for the oddity of Super Senate, it is a bit comical on the mind. Galactic Federation Embassy of Planets Galactic Legislation of the Federation Federation Adminastratum IDK, this one is far trickier to figure out. Though I have faith you will find something more fitting of your universe.
As I said above it sounds like the sort of thing a kid would come up with - ages ago I did some writing stuff with my then local primary and the stories were packed full of "hyper speed boats" and "Super cars" and so forth - its also veryu comic book super man, super ted etc Two houses of govt isnt a bad idea (Commons and Lords in the Uk, Congress and Senate in the US ) but they need sensible grown up titles
I don't usually like to denounce names of things because I remember how I felt when people snickered at names I picked for characters and the like, but this does seem a bit gaudy. If that's what you want to go for, go for it, but since it seems you want to go for a pretty serious drama, just judging from what you've written... yes I would change the name. Personally, I lean toward the solutions that @Homer Potvin and @Dracon suggest which lead Nera to make decisions herself that Pylon orchestrated or "brought to her attention." That seems to be the core of it. Deaths of loved ones are usually pretty useful for this. Or making the people hate her, if that means anything to Nera. This gives a great opportunity later, if Pylon is #1 Big Badâ„¢, for Nera to later find out his hand in making her feel terrible and to give her reason to exact revenge later in the story. setting up dank chess pieces yo