What would dialogue in 2nd person look like?

Discussion in 'Dialogue Development' started by Brigid, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Brigid

    Brigid Active Member

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    He lied if you believe that God really is the author of the bible. You know what those freaking editors do to original texts. How often did a published book look nothing like the original? There you have it.
     
  2. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

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  3. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Please let's stay on topic. This is not the place to debate religion.
     
  4. Dracon

    Dracon Contributor Contributor

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    The only time I've seen second person done is in those gamebooks ("If you hit the zombie over the head with a frying pan, turn to page 124" that sort of stuff!) like Give Yourself Goosebumps. I would think it would be very difficult to do in a proper novel because 'you' probably make some very stupid decisions, or the character 'you' does stuff that you yourself wouldn't do in real life, which would be a bit off-putting. The challenge in second person would be getting that character immersion. The Give Yourself Goosebumps are intentionally a bit silly, so get away with it, and the point is that you're playing the game.
     
  5. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

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    The Fifth Season is written partly in second person, and that's an incredible novel. It's SFF, so none of what the "you" is doing is even possible. I had no problems with character immersion, and none of it seemed silly.
     
  6. Brigid

    Brigid Active Member

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  7. RaitR_Grl

    RaitR_Grl Member

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    I don't know how 2nd-person would work in dialogue, but I once read a couple of books written in 2nd person POV. Have you ever heard of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps books? Basically, they're like semi-horror for kids. Within the series, he also had a miniseries called "Give Yourself Goosebumps," in which the reader was the main character For example, "You decide to take the elevator instead of the stairs." Stuff like that. Also, since it was 2nd-person POV, the story was written in the present tense. Just something else to keep in mind if you're considering this POV style.
     
  8. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    I'm not sure I understand the connection you're making between second person and present tense. Can you elaborate?
     
  9. RaitR_Grl

    RaitR_Grl Member

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    Like I said about that "Give Yourself Goosebumps" miniseries, the stories were written in both 2nd-person POV and present tense. For example, R.L. Stine always wrote something like, "You TAKE the elevator" instead of "you TOOK the elevator." Since the reader IS the main character, events in the book are happening right now, not like most other books where the reader is an outsider looking into a character's mind where things already happened, or the book is in the past tense.

    So if you're looking to write in 2nd-person, I would say to also write in present tense.
     
  10. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

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    I don't think second person does inherently better in present instead of past.

    The reader can be implicated as a character in either.

    But, even then, I don't generally see myself as a character in second-person. I see the "you" as the editorial "you." And when I write it, the narrator is speaking to a character "you" not the reader.
     
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  11. RaitR_Grl

    RaitR_Grl Member

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    Oh, that was the impression I got when I read those books, that when the author wrote "you", he intended for the reader to be the main character, since the MC was never given a name.
     
  12. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

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    I think in the specific example you're referencing that it is meant to be the reader (you). It's a Choose Your Own Destiny type thing (if I'm remembering there was some "turn to page such and such if.." in those books). But, the choice of present tense isn't inherent to that sort of story. It can be handled in past, too. What I mean is there is no real connection between second person and present tense. Just like past tense isn't inherent to third person. It's just a decision the author made for whatever reason. In R.L.'s case, those books are made for a younger audience and present tense has been more popular in MG and YA fiction. It could have been a "write for your market" thing.
     
  13. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    Yeah, the MC in a lot of second person I've read is clearly a defined character, not a reader-stand-in. Bright Lights Big City's "you" is a 20-something male, recently divorced/separated, living in New York City... not me as a reader. The "you" for the second person short I wrote is a gay teenager growing up in Texas... not me as a reader (or a writer). The "you" in Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas is, as I recall, a young stock broker dealing with a market crash.

    The Choose your own adventure model is one form of second person, for sure, but it's not the only one.

    That said, a lot of the second person I've read HAS been in present tense. I agree that it's not a requirement, but... there seems to be a connection...
     
  14. Brigid

    Brigid Active Member

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    Thanks to all of you four your advice.
     
  15. ChaseTheSun

    ChaseTheSun Senior Member

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    Second person can be used for entire novels, and the longer you read it, the less you notice it. The brain just takes a little while to adjust, but once you're in the groove, you don't even notice. In a way, you accept that this is your persona and you lose that initial irritation: "The 'you' protagonist is a male vegetarian living in Italy. But I'm a carnivorous female living in Australia. So clearly I am the wrong audience for this book." But that isn't how it works. As the reader of a second-person novel, you become the protagonist instead of the audience.

    I only ever read one book written in second person - a compulsory uni text - and it was an erotica by Nikki Gemmel. I can understand the appeal for readers of erotica to have it in second person, but I'm not convinced it's a form that would serve a practical and creative purpose outside of that genre.
     
  16. Rumple

    Rumple Member

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    So you think you've made it huh? Are you some big shot tough guy now? Look at yourself, what you have become. How did we get here? How did you get here? Who's we? It's just us. Wait, there I go again, you tricked me. You lied, how could you fall for your own tricks?

    You stand in front of the steam paned window, cracked with your own flaws. Amongst the damage you have brought upon yourself you see the inner you. You can relax now, no need to fret. You've been in this predicament before, haven't you?

    The water was beginning to overflow the tub as you gazed into the haze. The smoke bellowed from your cigarette leaving you to choke on the air. You begin to sway, like the night you got wasted at the pub. You shout for help but no words. What's this that has taken over you?


    A short time had passed, the water now spilling into the hall.

    "Pull yourself together, damn you!" You thought. Trying to hold your eyes open you knew what was coming. The band still on your arm, it gives you what you want. The feel, the pain, the pleasure it's what you are.
     
  17. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

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    Just curious: Why do you think it can't be practical or creative to write in second person outside of erotica?
     
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  18. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Though it kinda feels weird when Erotica breaks the fourth wall. :p
     
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  19. ChaseTheSun

    ChaseTheSun Senior Member

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    Hmm. I don't know. I've actually been sitting on this all day and just thinking about it (the idea of writing a book in second person) and I think I can see the value in it, to a certain extent. Initially I was thinking that you'd only really want to use the form in erotica to get that extra level of excitement (for readers who want to feel like they're part of a porn movie?!). But I guess I can see the value in it being used to heighten the intimacy and sense of immersion for readers regardless of genre. I think because I've only ever read one book that was done in second-person and it was an erotica, I probably have a bit of a bias against it now (erotica isn't really my thing, if you haven't picked up on that, haha!). But let me say tentatively that I stand corrected. :)
     
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  20. ChaseTheSun

    ChaseTheSun Senior Member

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    Haha!! So I was 18 and had never read erotica in my life, and then there I was in Uni being required to not only read erotica, but a BDSM erotica written in the second person. That fourth wall was not just broken, it was blown to pieces! Now that was a learning curve. :p
     
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