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    1. #21
      W. E. Burrough's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by bethklewis View Post
      Anyway, hated characters are great as long as their are not chariacatures. Her being a ruthless, slightly unhinged, person is great but if she's an author and CEO of a publishing company, why would the President appoint her to oversee Marine Biology? that smacks of random strangeness for the sake of it. Is there enough in her backstory to explain why she is so horrible? I think the broken family may be too weak unless the family was broken specifically because she was a bordering-on-sociopathic/ADHD child?
      During their highschool life President Ward knew that Billie's scientific knowledge, Biology in particular, was only trumped by their other mate, who is now considered the "Father of Post-Modern Robotics", Jules Nelson.

      The Department of National Protection and Marine Biology is the product of an international conspiracy dealing with the UN instructing all its associated leaders to have their countries hide reports of strange undersea phenomena. Ward, knowing Billie's status, personality and mind, appointed her to that position. She is a face the US citizens recognize and adore, America's favourite celebrity author and literary magnate. Who better to have as the face of his campaign?

      Billie was born a sociopath, hard-pressed to focus on anything besides power and the sensation of pain. She lied often and efficiently becoming a master, never feeling guilt. She can even lie to the point where she believes it wholly, which I think is impressive. When people she saw as inferior, everyone but her two friends and high school English teacher, would chastise her she viewed them as the ones in the wrong. She never cared to socialize, empathize or sympathize, learning so only out of necessity.

      She hates her ADHD. Diagnosed with it as a child she takes medicine to combat its effects. And, for your information, when I say "takes medicine" I really mean she triples her prescribed dose. Billie gets talky and ill-focused without her pills, much to her chagrin.

      "Why, dear girl, sweet princess, do you do this?"

      Billie's mother never loved her, encouraged her, or praised her. She got nothing except a dismissal when she defied the woman's negative preconceived notions of her failure. Billie praised herself, unknowingly, out of spite for her mother which made her happy, which caused her to strive for success. Her father wanted a son to teach his skills, but instead got her. He never fully got over his disappointment. Despite her successes she'd still never carry on the legacy of him and his father, and his father before him.

      I apologize for not explaining these things fully.

      "Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call." - Sylvia Plath

    2. #22
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      She sounds funny. Surreal. Skating on the boundary of suspension of disbelief. Zaphod Beeblebrox's cousin. But in that context, not unrelatable.

    3. #23
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      Quote Originally Posted by W. E. Burrough View Post
      She gets kind of a sexual thrill from succeeding, from performing the dangerous tight-rope routine.
      Sorry I was gone for most of the day, and I lost the tone of your post. Frankly, I'm having problems with my own story...

      When you wrote the part I quoted, your story suddenly clicked for me. I am your character. It is my singular purpose for doing anything.

      I don't need over-fast bikes, dangerous refined handguns, super sharp knives, a cocky attitude or any other Type-T flaw I have. I get a kick out of it, period.

      They used to call it a "death wish." Not true. I'm just afraid something is going to happen when I'm not looking. Some experience, or someone else is going to beat me to it.

      I just spent the better part of an hour detailing a detailed bike, a bike so mechanically perfect it's a frightening piece of metal. And there's the flaw.

      Do you think I really need the 200 bucks I get for polishing a Japanese chef's knife? Heck, I made more in profit just selling it. But I'm one of the few who can polish the edge--and I get a rush out it.

      Good engines have rev-limiters. I do not. Consider that when you write your character. I saw a really nice pair of boots at the shop today. I don't need them, but I promised myself that if I bought them I would never shine them. To me, that's a simple bliss.

      Your character is out of control. She's failing.

    4. #24
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      Quote Originally Posted by The Tourist View Post
      Your character is out of control. She's failing.
      That confused me. I feel as if I'm missing something here; I'm out of it, sort of. So, she's bad?

      "Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call." - Sylvia Plath

    5. #25
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      I don't see any problem with the character.
      Do your research on the diagnosed problems for ticks and neurocises to write about, keep them straight, and you should have an interesting char.

      The tourist comments: "Your character is out of control, she failing."
      The way I read it: He's saying the character is on the edge in her life, not that the character is bad(failing) ie you are portraying a person with a fault properly.(As long as you intended this to be the case, otherwise your description might mislead the reader.) I am not familiar with mental issues, so I cant say.
      The only thing I know about grammar is she baked me cookies.

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