Feelings of misguidance and solitude.

[Gonissa]

This feels like my youth -- except I didn't give a crap about being alone. I didn't like how other teenagers did things that hurt their parents and destroyed their brain cells. But of course you just sound like you want to have a social life and just hang with people. I'm sorry to say that the only solution to that is to try. I'm nearly 26, and I have no friends to speak of, other than a few people I know better than I know most others.

I actually just read something that made me feel a lot better somehow. It was this book, Please Understand Me which describes a person's personality with the Myers-Briggs thing. I recently found out that I'm INTP, the most extremely unsocial and misunderstood personality group of the bunch, and only 1% of the population. It sounds like you might be this too. Reading about this personality type made me realize that it's actually sort of normal to be unsocial -- normal for the type, anyway. Read this and see if it's you. http://typelogic.com/intp.html

If it is, realize that social functions are just not your strength, and realize that you have other personal gifts to make up for it. If not, you still have gifts and personality traits that make you functional in other parts of society, like the arts or science or something. Apparently a lot of great people were loners, and it was this loner trait that pushed them to do great things, because they can't gain the satisfaction a person would normally get from interacting with others and must find other outlets.

Advice:
1. Don't compare yourself to other people. It's never healthy. They're them and you're you, and you're the one that's got to live your life.

2. Talk to people at your job. Even if you only talk to them about job-related things, it's still a good way to get some socializing done, and maybe develop deeper friendships as a result. Also, directly choose to do something that will force you to interact with people. Like auditioning for a play or walking over to a group of talking people. Just something that forces you to look someone in the eyes and smile.

3. At the risk of sounding preachy, find God. Quite frankly, I'm in your exact spot right now (except I've been overseas -- hey, you should travel!) and if it were up to the world, I'd be a useless and kind of annoying pile of flesh. Because I know that God has a purpose for me, and created me to be the apparent weirdo that I am, then I know that it is to the world's benefit that I exist. I'm not a misfit, I just might look to one that doesn't understand.

4. America is a really nice place to live. We have so much opportunity over here, and on a daily basis not too much threatens us. We've got food, medicine, water, guns, benefits for the poor, all that good stuff. The trouble with a prosperous country, however, is that people get stagnant. We don't get to "fight" against anything, or fight for our survival. Which is why you should learn about a non-prosperous country (North Korea is a good example) or take up some kind of cause. And definitely exercise. Sitting in one place for too long makes the body ill-content.

[MatrixGravity]

This feels like my youth -- except I didn't give a crap about being alone. I didn't like how other teenagers did things that hurt their parents and destroyed their brain cells. But of course you just sound like you want to have a social life and just hang with people. I'm sorry to say that the only solution to that is to try. I'm nearly 26, and I have no friends to speak of, other than a few people I know better than I know most others.

I actually just read something that made me feel a lot better somehow. It was this book, Please Understand Me which describes a person's personality with the Myers-Briggs thing. I recently found out that I'm INTP, the most extremely unsocial and misunderstood personality group of the bunch, and only 1% of the population. It sounds like you might be this too. Reading about this personality type made me realize that it's actually sort of normal to be unsocial -- normal for the type, anyway. Read this and see if it's you. http://typelogic.com/intp.html

If it is, realize that social functions are just not your strength, and realize that you have other personal gifts to make up for it. If not, you still have gifts and personality traits that make you functional in other parts of society, like the arts or science or something. Apparently a lot of great people were loners, and it was this loner trait that pushed them to do great things, because they can't gain the satisfaction a person would normally get from interacting with others and must find other outlets.

Advice:
1. Don't compare yourself to other people. It's never healthy. They're them and you're you, and you're the one that's got to live your life.

2. Talk to people at your job. Even if you only talk to them about job-related things, it's still a good way to get some socializing done, and maybe develop deeper friendships as a result. Also, directly choose to do something that will force you to interact with people. Like auditioning for a play or walking over to a group of talking people. Just something that forces you to look someone in the eyes and smile.

3. At the risk of sounding preachy, find God. Quite frankly, I'm in your exact spot right now (except I've been overseas -- hey, you should travel!) and if it were up to the world, I'd be a useless and kind of annoying pile of flesh. Because I know that God has a purpose for me, and created me to be the apparent weirdo that I am, then I know that it is to the world's benefit that I exist. I'm not a misfit, I just might look to one that doesn't understand.

Thanks for your post, glad you can relate to my situation. I agree with you. The reason why I am particular about being friends with certain people is that most teenagers are incredibly stupid, reckless, and irrational. They choose to engage in unhealthy and immature behavior and do things impulsively without thinking about the potential consequences, and I'm far from that. I am very careful and levelheaded about how I approach certain situations. That's why it's difficult for me to meet people with my level of intellect and mindset. Plus, I have encountered a great deal of jackasses in the last few years, and that's why I'm so cautious about meeting new people. And I don't necessarily want a huge social life, I just want a few friends. 1-3 is absolutely fine for me. I don't like having a huge number of friends. I've never felt comfortable with that. I'm really happy when I have at least 1-3 friends around. It's easier to maintain friendships that way when you have less friends, at least that's how it is for me. And I will check out the book you linked, thank you. I agree with social functions not being my strength. But having a friend here and there is something I do enjoy though. I love having company when it's available. I love going with a friend to the cinema, or getting something to eat, going to amusement parks, etc. I enjoy doing a wide variety of things as long as it's not with many people at once. Like I said, I hate huge social situations. I am best when I am with a friend or two. That's when I can feel comfortable the most. And I've actually been a Christian for a few years now. Unfortunately over the last few months my faith has begun to waver and I am having trouble maintaining my relationship with God. It's just difficult for me.. I am working on it though. Also, I would absolutely love to travel and see the world. Sadly, I haven't got a car, or the money to do so, but one day I surely will.

[MatrixGravity]

Besides what's already suggested, try making one or more changes in your daily routines that forces you to approach life differently. If nothing more, then just for a period of time. If it helps (from a negative mindset) pick a thing NOT to do. For example, you could set yourself the goal of NOT turning your computer on, for 2 weeks. Since sitting in front of the computer and feeling miserable is what you're mainly doing, not being at the computer at all will force you into new territory and make you see things differently. You're in a negative routine and breaking that seems like a basic first step. Spring is here. Turn that darn machine off and go outside. Even if it's boring, once boredom becomes insufferable, you'll eventually find something else to spend your time on. I've been where you are, and I got out of it by giving myself a challenge that changed my daily habits - it was the flake that started an avalanche of changes.

Great suggestion. I've actually attempted to do this in the past before but failed unfortunately. The reason why I spend so much time on the computer is because I haven't got anything else to do. Whenever I'm online, I usually read or chat with friends, etc. But without the computer, I would basically be sitting in my room staring at the wall. I really haven't got many outlets for entertainment. My neighborhood is really bad, and there isn't really much to do around here. If I had friends that I could see, I would surely be spending all my free time with them, and not on my computer. Sadly, that's not the case for me. That's why it's so difficult to find things to do. I don't even have many hobbies as it is. I used to go out and do Photography occasionally, but I stopped since then. I lose interest in certain things very easily. It was nice when I started, but now it feels more of a chore, then a hobby when I do it. So.. yeah. Although once it becomes more warmer, I plan to spend more time on the beach. That's about it really. I really wish I could change my daily routine, but I just don't know where to start aside from that. And I agree.. Feeling sorry for myself isn't the answer. I just don't know how else to cope I guess.

It's funny though. I have family who live in Seattle, Washington and I visit them maybe once a year or so over the summer. Whenever I stay there, I live with my Grandmother, and she has absolutely nothing to do at her house. She doesn't own a computer, and there aren't many sources of entertainment available to me there. So when I was there back in 2010, I spent a great deal of time outdoors and just outside in general, and It felt very liberating. Washington is a very beautiful place especially so there was so many pleasant things to see around the surrounding neighborhood. Unfortunately, I do not have that luxury here where I live in NYC.. If I get a chance to go back to Washington this year, I think it will do a great deal of good for me. I really need a change of scenery. I feel suffocated at this point and don't know how much I can endure. Granted, it was boring there but still at least I wasn't confined to a bedroom all day long like I am here.

[HorusEye]

Great suggestion. I've actually attempted to do this in the past before but failed unfortunately. The reason why I spend so much time on the computer is because I haven't got anything else to do. Whenever I'm online, I usually read or chat with friends, etc. But without the computer, I would basically be sitting in my room staring at the wall.

You'll be staring at the wall for the first two days, and then that'll become insufferable, and you'll find something else to do! There was a time before computers were invented and people didn't have trouble making time pass. I suggested that particular challenge because by definition it's very simple (do NOT press the on switch), and at the same time forces you to be inventive -- what to do with all that time?! Just try it for a week first, if that makes it more bearable. I cannot believe there's nothing to do in New York.

[MatrixGravity]

You'll be staring at the wall for the first two days, and then that'll become insufferable, and you'll find something else to do! There was a time before computers were invented and people didn't have trouble making time pass. I suggested that particular challenge because by definition it's very simple (do NOT press the on switch), and at the same time forces you to be inventive -- what to do with all that time?! Just try it for a week first, if that makes it more bearable. I cannot believe there's nothing to do in New York.

I don't even know where to begin, but you're right. Although I figure once I get a job I won't spend so much time at home, and therefore won't be on the computer as much. Aside from that, for now I just can't seem to think of anything. If I had friends this would be very easy, but sadly I live a very mundane generic life. I just don't know how to occupy my time the right way.. When I'm not on the computer, I'm usually sleeping or cleaning the house but not much else. I wish it wasn't like this though.. but I'm working on it.

[MatrixGravity]

But I want to ask you guys something.. Judging from my posts, Is it safe to say that I would be considered the type of person who doesn't really let others into their life?

[HorusEye]

I think one would need to meet you in person to make a judgement on that. Ask your family, perhaps?

As for

"I just don't know how to occupy my time the right way.."

Well, that was the point of my proposed challenge. Forcing you into boredom. Boredom can be good, it often leads to creativity. Eventually you'll find something to do -- but it has to be in this order for the whole thing to work: begin with shutting the computer off. Hope it works for you.