1. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    1) or 2)

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by lameri, May 12, 2011.

    (said by the priest at the beginning of a wedding ceremony)

    1) Let's make of this a vibrant ceremony.

    2) Let's make this a vibrant ceremony.

    Thank you!
     
  2. Youniquee
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    Youniquee (◡‿◡✿) Contributor

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    Number 2, one doesn't make sense because of the 'Of'
     
  3. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    Thanks. "Of" is referring to an omitted "occasion" or "event":

    Let's make of this (occasion/event) a vibrant ceremony.

    You're saying that's not possible?
     
  4. evelon
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    evelon Active Member

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    Are you meaning: 'let's make of this wedding ceremony a vibrant event'? because that sounds wrong. No. 1 is o.k.
     
  5. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    Now I'm confused, you say 1) is OK?

    I just meant to say "let's make of this particular one a vibrant ceremony."
     
  6. Demented_Thoughts
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    Demented_Thoughts Member

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    Agreed Number 1 is to complicted for the reader to comprehend
     
  7. Unit7
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    Unit7 Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd go with 2. I understood what 1 was talking about but it sounded off to me. A bit more complicated and well unneeded.

    The second one is simple and easily understood by everyone.
     
  8. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    #2 is the only one that makes good sense...

    while #1 may be correct grammatically, it doesn't read well, thus would not be good writing...
     
  9. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    1) is possible but sounds really stilted. It might be said by a priest at the beginning of the ceremony, but most of the congregation would roll their eyes at it. 2) is quite normal.
     
  10. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    Remember it's said by a priest, so it's dialog. It might be good writing if the intention is to show that the person has a stilted, slightly over-ornate style of speech, hinting that the priest is detached from the ordinary people.
     
  11. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    Got it! Thanks
     
  12. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    #1 sounds too formal and maybe a bit archaic. I disagree that it is complicated and hard to make sense of, however. It is a relatively simple English sentence. I'd go with #2, though either will work.

    Digitig makes a good point, though. If the priest is a bit formal or archaic in his speech than #1 serves to better characterize him.
     
  13. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    Either:
    Let's make a vibrant ceremony of this.
    Or:
    Let's make this a vibrant ceremony.
    I've never heard anyone say 'Let's make of this a vibrant ceremony.' It sounds like 17th century English.

    Nor can I imagine anyone, but particularly a priest, describe a wedding in church as 'vibrant'! The guests' outfits, or the entertainment afterwards, yes, because they about fun/entertainment, nothing to do with ceremony, solemn commitment, or praying. The word 'vibrant' connected to a wedding service makes me laugh, to be honest.
     
  14. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    I hope I don't offend anyone, but number one doesn't sound archaic or formal to me at all. It sounds like someone who is learning English and having problems with the translations (I hear this OFTEN where I live now and where I lived before) and it's what we always termed "broken english" (sorry if that's not PC). If I read this I would expect more of the same to follow.

    If you wanted it to sound formal and archaic it would be more like "On this, the Lord in Heaven's thirteenth day of the fifth month in the year of our Lord (enter year here), we gather in this holy place to join these two people in a state of holy matrimony......"
    *disclaimer* I uh... hate weddings... so if my wording is off, well I think you get the idea anyway, lol.

    Even the word "Let's" sounds very casual to me, especially from a priest at a wedding. Not that it can't be said or doesn't happen, but if you want archaic and/or formal they aren't it, imo.
     
  15. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    It's not broken English as far as I can tell. Grammatically, it works just fine. But I find the structure to be old-fashioned. If the priest speaks that way it tells me something different about him than if he uses the second sentence.
     
  16. Trish
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    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

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    Like I said maybe it's just me, but it's often how people who are learning english speak. I live in farm country and there are a lot of migrant workers here and I hear sentences like this sooooo often....

    (again I mean NO disrespect to anyone)
     
  17. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    It certainly doesn't sound like normal English as spoken nowadays. As to the 'Let's', it seems informal, but really it's only informal in written text when you think about it; not many people say 'Let us' unless they are speaking very slowly, as in 'Let us pray...'

    But it all still sounds nothing like any vicar I've ever heard. Is this some hip Irish priest or something? (Nothing against the Irish, but some of their speech patterns are weirdly, sometimes charmingly, ancient). I'd still love to know what made you choose the word 'vibrant'?
     
  18. Kio
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    Kio Contributing Member

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    I pick number 2. Number 1 sounds a little old. It makes sense, but I don't think it would fit in with 'let's'.
     
  19. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    if he's being formal, he would not say 'let's'...
     
  20. lameri
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    lameri Senior Member

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    You got it: He is Irish, so he's definitely not an English learner and I am not choosing the word. It was his word, but from the recording (that I am transcribing) I can't quite hear if he says "of" or not.
    In any case, thanks for your help. Maybe I should just ask him :)
     
  21. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    Irish makes sense, as their speech can be a bit more florid -- I could imagine Graham Norton saying it (though I can't imagine Graham Norton being a priest!) so it's credible.
     

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