1. NewAgeFiction
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    NewAgeFiction Member

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    A feeling of unseen disquiet filling the autumn air

    Discussion in 'Setting Development' started by NewAgeFiction, Apr 9, 2013.

    This is how my story begins (and it's NOT a short story!) in the 'modern' time after an ancient-day prelude/prologue. What do you think characterizes a feeling of tension in the air in a sleepy country setting during the fall season?
     
  2. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    too broad a question... what's causing the 'tension'?... what does 'sleepy country setting' consist of?...
     
  3. SwampDog
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    SwampDog Contributing Member

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    It seems like you've come up with a concept for an opening sentence, then want posters here to make sense of it and fill in the blanks.

    Or am I way off? ;)
     
  4. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Or write the rest of the novel...?
     
  5. NewAgeFiction
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    NewAgeFiction Member

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    Very presumptuous and somewhat rude replies (except for mammamaia's), perhaps I've joined the wrong forum. Actually I already have most of the novel written out. I was just looking for other's opinions on their takes of what could add an additional element of unease to a rural setting. I'm already quite satisfied with how I've laid it out.
     
  6. TLK
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    TLK Active Member

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    Something out of place, but something subtle. If you've already started building the tension then "A lone figure walking down the road" is always going to put readers on edge, despite the fact it could easily be Old Granny Smith returning from her shopping trip.
     
  7. NewAgeFiction
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    NewAgeFiction Member

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    Thank you TLK. Once I've established myself on this site, I plan to submit some excerpts of the work.
     
  8. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Disquiet is a reaction, not a stimulus. Describe it by the reactions of characters in the environment.
     
  9. NewAgeFiction
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    NewAgeFiction Member

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    Thanks Cogito. For the case I'm working with, the 'disquiet' is the stimulus and the reaction working together. It's an unseen atmosphere.
     
  10. TerraIncognita
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    TerraIncognita Aggressively Nice Person Contributor

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    I think a good way to evoke that feeling is to show something is way off with the setting. Like going to a playground on a bright sunny day and it's completely deserted. When you show something is very wrong with the environment it gives a feeling of unease to the reader.
     
  11. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    is there some reason why you're not answering my un-rude questions?
     
  12. Nee
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    Nee Contributing Member

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    Okay, I get it a try.

    While "A feeling of unseen disquiet filling the autumn air." may be a perfectly fine sentence, it is "telling" the reader what is going on (or in this case, telling the reader how it feels) rather than letting the reader feel the scene, thereby allowing them to draw their own conclusions as to how it felt that autumn.
     

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