1. Jonp
    Offline

    Jonp Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2011
    Messages:
    114
    Likes Received:
    3

    A lack of enthusiasm?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Jonp, May 5, 2011.

    I love writing. I am loving how my book is progressing. I doubt it would ever be published or that I would ever make money off of it, but I do it anyway, because I enjoy it. I write for myself, and I hope that some day at least a few people will read and enjoy my book. The problem is, my friends don't really care. A few have asked to read it, and I've sent them some of it, but that was months ago. I understand if they're busy and can't find the time, or even if they just don't want to read it, but for me it sort of kills my enthusiasm seeing how no one else is bothered.

    I don't know if anyone else finds this happens to them. I'm certainly not going to force my friends to read what I've written, and I'm not going to keep reminding them. Perhaps it's just me- if I had a friend who was working on some big project, I'd be interested. I'd want to see how they were doing and offer support. Maybe I just need better friends.

    Anyway, it's one of the reasons I am grateful I found this place. Just being around other writers helps to get me motivated. So thank you, everyone.
     
  2. Agent Vatani
    Offline

    Agent Vatani Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2010
    Messages:
    160
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    In the land of writing
    Like you said, your writing for yourself. So if you need someone to talk to, I'm always open so feel free to PM me anytime.

    1. Now picture if your head.
    Best seller by (Enter your name here)

    2. Hey if your book is going good hey your doing great! Better then me, I haven't started yet. Cause I just trashed my last book. So don't trash them, it's a bad thing I did. So don't follow in my foot steps.

    3.For the friend thing, I can't really help there cause my friends are happy for me and they think I'm good at what I do and ect. So again I'm here if you need a good boost.

    Just think, if you finished your book and go for it. You might be at a book signing one day. :)
     
  3. popsicledeath
    Offline

    popsicledeath Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2010
    Messages:
    1,037
    Likes Received:
    71
    It happens. I have friends that make short movies, and if I go to their house they're like hey, watch this, and I do. I have friends that make music and are constantly having me listen to stuff. They don't really ask what I'm doing, though, and the few times I send them stuff specifically because I know they'll like it, they usually just grumble about homework.

    I also have very refined, literary, academic type of friends who don't read my work either, sometimes even after we 'talk writing' and they want me to send them something, hah. I have a few 'friends' who are also writers and are supportive about it all, saying how I'm a great writer, and I know for a fact they've never even read anything I wrote (lol?).

    Comes with the territory. Hell, I've been in writing classes where the professor was an internationally best-selling author and multiple award winner, and most of the class hadn't ever heard of him outside of him being the name on the registration sheet when they signed up for a class because they wanted to be the next internationally best-selling author and multiple award winner.

    Writing and writers are weird like that. The good ones (good writers and good friends too, I suppose) will care, though, and stay informed and interested. It's why I always listen to my friends' crappy music and watch their crappy videos. ;)
     
  4. Trish
    Offline

    Trish I've been deleted.. again Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    1,986
    Likes Received:
    224
    Location:
    New York
    I'm sorry. It sucks, huh? I gave my own mother 3 chapters of one of my WIP's over 3 months ago. Can she be bothered? Nope. My dad didn't even want to see it. Neither one of them has ever asked me what I'm writing about, or shown any interest other than a verbal pat on the head that I'm doing great. How would they know? My sister took two months. My friends, well that's been mixed. Some can't wait to read the next bit I've done, others can't be bothered.

    I want their approval, I want them to care, but they don't. They're not going to change. This is where you have to decide if you can live with that. If you can get your approval somewhere else and not have it eat away at you the next time they're excited about something they've done - and expect you to be too. If you can, great. If not? You do what you need to do to make yourself healthy, happy, and whole. The Serenity Prayer has been a staple in my life since I was a child, if you don't know it you should look it up. Even if you don't believe in God there is beautiful wisdom in that. I wish you the best.
     
  5. MrSchofield
    Offline

    MrSchofield New Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MN
    Hey, I sometimes have the same problem. If you ever need an ego boost I'll be happy to provide it.
     
  6. Leatherworth Featherfist
    Offline

    Leatherworth Featherfist Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2011
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    California
    I've been in similar situations before. I think that when it comes to friends, they have to be interested in reading and writing in order for them to appreciate what it takes to write a book, much less read one. I love my friends, but their not writers.

    Writing is especially hard to share with your peers. I get a lot more pleasure out of sharing my writing with people I don't know; people who don't know me. There is no bias that way.
     
  7. JMTweedie
    Offline

    JMTweedie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2011
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    London UK
    I don't think I would ever give my writing to family or friends to have a look at. They would not give you an unbiased review anyway.

    I've developed an unshakingly firm belief in my writing abilities, not easy but feels great. There will always be somebody out there that doesn't like your work.

    Never give up.
     
  8. Jigen
    Offline

    Jigen Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2011
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    1
    I run into similar problems often. Thankfully I can sometimes get several of my friends to read my works. But at the same time none of my friends are as open with their thoughts as I am so I don't always trust their feedback.

    It has been a real struggle for me even finding a handful of people that have similar interests, but I have accomplished it over time. As a small suggestion I would recommend you try talking to more people one on one on instant messenger clients like AIM or ICQ. You find out pretty quickly if someone is a complete jerk or at least somewhat cool that way. This way I am currently maintaining 8 or so fairly close 'friends', of which I can usually get 1 or 2 to read something I wrote within a week.

    But still, the best input usually comes from complete strangers, which is something I've been working on. I have a blog which I post some of my works on, and I respectfully advertise it around on some sites where it might be relevant and I might get some very worthwhile comments from one or two people and that's the best I can hope for these days.

    It does require a lot of work to even build or maintain a small social network, and getting strangers to take you seriously long enough to tell you what they think is even more work, but it's worth the effort I think.
     
  9. EdFromNY
    Offline

    EdFromNY Hope to improve with age Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2010
    Messages:
    4,683
    Likes Received:
    2,534
    Location:
    Queens, NY
    My wife read my first two novels and was very enthusiastic about them. The encouragement was nice but there was no critique in it. As JMT mentioned before, it's not an unbiased view.
     
  10. Evilyn
    Offline

    Evilyn Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2011
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Don't let it put you off, when I told my friends I was writing a book they looked at me strangley and then said thats nice and briefly enquired what it was about but have never mentioned it since. It hurt a bit but then they don't really understand why someone would want to write a book as they spend most their evenings watching the only way is essex and think I am strange for wanting to go home and write lol.

    My dad has been great, always asking to read the latest extract but he is very biased, my mum has not read any of it... and whenever I mention it she either says "yes dear thats nice but don't get your hopes up" my brother is the same he'll ask out of politness but even after a year of me writing and telling him about it he still has no idead what its about!
    The best person has been my boyfriend who is the most blunt person I know, he tells me when he thinks a part I have written is not the best I can make it even going as far to say " No thats crap" sounds harsh but at least I know hes being honest then he will listen to another part and say "Ohh I really like that".

    At the end of the day don't expect all your friends to understand, it doesn't make them bad people or bad friends but don't let it put you off, try to remember why you started writing in the first place :)

    Evi
     
  11. Earlychop
    Offline

    Earlychop Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2011
    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    The Garden of England
    I've had the opposite problem, oh, and the same I guess.

    I've had both my brother and mom read my work and say they both liked it, but surprisingly it was my mom who was indifferent about it. They both launched into conversation with each other about what they liked and what they thought could be better described/written. It was a bit shocking.

    I then gave a copy to a set of seventeen year old twins and one of their friends whom I have only ever met a few times (they are the daughters of a work mate) and they keep bugging me for more because they really liked it. I **** myself after a little while and asked for the first three chapters I'd given them back so they would not give it to their other friends without asking me. :S

    Having said that my work is about a satirical - late teen - runaway boy thrown into a world of hidden telekinitics. (though not the kind of telekinetic power most people imagine :)

    Here's the ****ty part. I made the mistake of letting my Dad read one of my character exercises (A book written from a fifteen year old female perspective.) and he got to the end of the first page and then chucked it at me saying "Yea alright, its good but whatever justifies your sexuality" LOL

    I was so pissed off! We then had a massive argument about male authors writing female characters and I gave up in the end after realising that he is probably not the best person to read my work as he has only ever read: The Hobbit, Lord of the rings, and some Terry Pratchet.

    Really ****ed me off though.

    Dont' let anyone put you off your writing, or tell you what you can or cannot write about.
     

Share This Page