1. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    Cover Letter A.M.P.'s Cover Letter

    Discussion in 'Query & Cover Letter Critique' started by A.M.P., Aug 10, 2014.

    I just want to thank everyone for their help here and I have received some excellent feedback in the thread and PMs. My query looks much better and I feel much more confident about it as well.

    There's no more needs to reply concerning the letter, thank you.


    ***

    [Contact info here]

    Dear Xchyler Publishing,

    UNTITLED is a light fantasy fiction with a focus on personal growth where the characters take center stage rather than the plot. This story will appeal to young adults and adults alike. UNTITLED has been recommend to be submitted to Xchyler by BLANK, an author published under your name.

    A parent's schizophrenia is hard to understand, more so when you're but a young boy oblivious to the meaning of the word. Mika had always loved his father, loved him still when he disappeared. But when he appeared at his windowsill one night and wanted to take him away on an adventure, Mika joined him without a second thought.

    As days go by, Mika does all he can to suppress questions and doubts about his father. Starving, tired, and confused as to why they're going from Maine to Maryland on foot; he does his best to feed himself and his father.

    One night, they find themselves in an abandoned carnival where Mika is tasked to find food and shelter for the both of them. There, away from father's eyes, he meets two strangers who want to take him away from his father and save him from him. They try to open his eyes to the cold reality of his father's illness but Mika cannot let go.

    As his father's conditions worsens, Mika's doubts can no longer be held back and he begins to question everyone around him and finds lies and deceit at every corner. Mika becomes torn from wanting to run to the safety offered by the strangers and of his love for his ailing father. Needing to choose, Mika must learn to grow and to stand on his own two feet and learn that love does not always require to be blind.

    I thank you for your time and consideration for your winter anthology.

    Sincerely yours,
    A.M.P.
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2014
  2. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Sounds good, succinct and it hits all the right points - only trouble I had with it was at the beginning I thought the boy was schizophrenic.
    This also feels like it's missing a word - require one to be blind, require us to be blind.
     
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  3. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    @peachalulu
    Thanks for catching that who was schizophrenic wasn't apparent.
    I certainly didn't notice it.
    Edited the original post.

    "Learn that love does not always require to be blind"
    I think that's fine, personally as the saying is "Love is blind" so I think it works as it personifies the emotion.
     
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  4. Jack Asher
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    Jack Asher Wildly experimental Contributor

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    I would move the bolded section all the way to the end. The editor doesn't care about any of it, all they want to know is what the story is about. You can give them the relevant details at the end, if they're still reading.

    And with that synopsis they'll still be reading.
     
  5. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    @Jack Asher
    See, everyone says one or the other.
    Some say "State what you are submitting to save the publisher time" or something of the sort and others say exactly what you said >.>
    I even Googled to see more "concrete" info but it's the same. Some say tat, some say tit.

    I personally wrote it at the bottom originally but as I kept working and tweaking the letter, I felt it should be on top.
     
  6. K.P Gazelle
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    K.P Gazelle Member

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    A.M.P,

    I have to say, your query letter sounds fabulous. Quick question: are you going to be querying more than one agency and if so, will you customize the first paragraph in which you pitch your story to each agency?

    I'm in the process of drafting a query letter and was wondering if I should just stick to the same pitch paragraph or personalize it to each agent. I've heard agents like personalized pitches so I'm leaning towards that.

    Good Luck!

    Best,
    K.P Gazelle
     
  7. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    @K.P Gazelle
    Well, this query is specifically made for Xchyler's Anthology coming up.
    So, I'd say edit it accordingly but the hook and the synopsis/blurb part should remain the same if you think they're good.
    No real use is selling something different to everyone else, imo if it's good to begin with.
     
  8. K.P Gazelle
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    K.P Gazelle Member

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    Right. That's what I've read. I'm struggling with my query letter :(. Wanna check it out and give me advice? Thanks!
     
  9. matwoolf
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    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

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    ????? I would be more inclined toward....


    Dear Mrs Brown Xchyler Publishing,

    My name is Mat Woolf,

    Sue Trout, author of River Fish Pie suggested I approach your reputable firm with my manuscript for submission. I hope my post finds you well.

    Thank you

    UNTITLED
    is a light fantasy fiction with a focus on personal growth where the characters take center stage rather than the plot. This story will appeal to young adults and adults alike. UNTITLED has been recommend to be submitted to Xchyler by BLANK, an author published under your name.

    A parent's schizophrenia is hard to understand, more so when you're but a young boy oblivious to the meaning of the word. Mika had always loved his father, loved him still when he disappeared. But

    When his schizophrenic father appears at his windowsill one night and wants to take him away on an adventure, Mika joins him without a second thought...


    One more for the brew, good luck :)


    ..............................
     
  10. A.M.P.
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    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Supporter Contributor

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    @matwoolf
    Yeah, I should maybe try to find out who reads the stuff at Xchyler, still haven't done that yet though.
     

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