1. Sarah's scribbles
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    Sarah's scribbles Member

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    A story for his daughter. a story in a story.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Sarah's scribbles, Sep 7, 2015.

    As we begin my story, the man is watching in a crowd as another man he knows is being presented with a statue by the mayor of his town. The statue is because of his writing, and that he continues to promote the city even when he is currently ranked one of the top three writers in the world.
    The thing is, he's a fraud. The man on stage stole everything from the man watching. The man on stage, named Andrew, though known by the pen name Mr. Dark Shadow, was friends with Nathan, the man watching, when they were kids. they went to the same school together. Nathan marries the girl they both loved, they had a child, and for his daughter he wrote with all of his heart on a novel he hoped would allow him to give a better life to his daughter.
    Then Andrew comes along and steals the story, rewrites it darker and more adult like and publishes it fr himself. Without the story Nathan's family sinks into depression and poverty. Andrew is nice enough to come around though and steal back the woman he loved from Nathan and buy his house from him. his wife taking his daughter with her to live with his rival, Nathan is left alone with only the small bit of money he was given for his house and nothing else.

    Skip forward a few years, to the beginning of the story. Somewhere in the range of five years, Andrew still feels the need to come gloat in Nathan's face. whether it be because he took his house or his love or his story or his daughter. He has no proof that Andrew stole his story and he is now known world wide for his writing no one would believe him anyways. Andrew is a cocky prick and will go so far as to come to the bar Nathan always frequents, and taunt him, even saying his daughter's name to him.
    This causes Nathan to lose it. He hauls all he's got left and punches him in the face, knocking the both of them off their bar stools and dropping them to the floor. the barkeep kicks him out because he has a no fighting policy, and sends him off.

    Wandering the street, he comes upon a small fortune teller stand that tries to stop him. He doesn't stop at first and keeps on going, only to come upon the same stand minutes later. He does this once more, but finds he cannot escape the fortune teller. He stops and has his fortune told, the teller seeming to know the whole story without him saying anything or clueing him in. She tells him he is doomed to failure, and that currently his fate shows he will end up as nothing. She gives him a vial, tells him it will not be any good after 1:53 Am, a couple hours later, and tells him that if he wishes for a chance to change things, then he should take it before time runs out and that perhaps things do not need to end up the way fate has things plotted so far.

    His exwife comes up, angry about him punching her new husband, probably told it was because he was jealous or something. Even if he's a cheating ass, she still stays with him even after all this time because well, he has money and he does well for her daughter. He eventually is slapped by her and she rushes off, leaving him there. He decides at the last moment to take the vial and thus our story can really start.

    He wakes up some time later, to find he is no longer in his own world, but in the story book.

    Now, I'm having trouble when it gets to this part.
    for one. I'm having trouble deciding on a couple things about the story so some help and opinions would be appreciated. For one, I'm rather sure that he should wake up not in the story he wrote for his daughter, but the version that was rewrote.
    This makes me have to come up with not only a story written for his daughter, but the darker version that Andrew rewrote.
    I only know a little of what I want to include in it.
    I have an ending but I'm having trouble coming up with a middle, the basis of him in this story. The point of it would be for him to grow and become better, to end up getting his daughter back and living for her.

    Anyone willing to help me would be appreciated.
     
  2. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    I has an idea. Perhaps you can have him end up in the rewritten version. Once there depending on what he does with in the newer, he may be able to change it back to the original story he wrote for his daughter. Restore from the inside, outward until things are righted. That way you can show how he turns the tables back in his favor and get the life he always wanted back. Just a thought, that way you don't actually have to write two completely different stories to have one turn into the other. Just show us how they get corrected. Again just a thought. Good Luck. :p
     
  3. Capricorn42
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    Capricorn42 Member

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    Interesting concept. So he wakes up in the darker version of the story, darker how? Would it be like Gotham with some strange, surreal characters, or just ordinary people? You need a comparison as well, so you can demonstrate to the reader that this is the darker version. Perhaps he can have flashes of the lighter version, which taunt him with what he's missing out on. Just a few thoughts. It does sound like it's shaping up well though.
     
  4. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    You could have flashes, or he could have memories of his own work to contrast the other. There can be minor differences that subtly change how the story unfolds, or both minor and major differences. Making for something he can have an impact on to change it to the original story that he already wrote. Depends on how complicated you make it. I am not sure it sounds a tad complex overall and would be worth getting another opinion from somebody that has dealt with similar situation and theme.
     
  5. Sarah's scribbles
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    Sarah's scribbles Member

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    Thanks I was thinking something along those lines. I appreciate the imput
     
  6. Sarah's scribbles
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    Sarah's scribbles Member

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    After going over it some with a friend I've decided that it's not darker so much anymore as much as it's filled with conflict. When the guy rewrote the story he changed a few things and this would be the story down the line after the changes were made.

    Basically, I have this so far. He wrote a story where his daughter was the princess and he and his wife were the king and queen and everything. When the guy stole his story and changed it, he rewrote several things in it, one thing being that the king was gone and a new man had married the queen and taken her place. He also wrote in certain things I haven't thought of yet that changed other things. After the progression of the story in the book, the neighboring land invaded, killing the king and the queen and overthrowing the nation. That is the world he would find himself in. the world where the kingdom has been overthrown, the princess is full grown and fighting a rebellion, and the new emperors have outlawed most magic he once wrote into the story and have declared hunting on all the creatures he wrote into the story in the first place.
     

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